Friday Open Thread

Clever Manka, · Categories: Open Thread
Oh my god

Oh my god

I can’t stop watching this. How’ve you been?

103 Responses to “Friday Open Thread”

  1. CleverManka says:

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    Is anyone else here registered for SpaceWitch Retreat? I registered, and if my health doesn't allow me to go, I'm donating the membership to their scholarship fund. But if I do go, does anyone wanna be my roommate for the hotel-style room? They'll assign me roommates (three to a room), but I thought I'd throw it out there if any of y'all would be interested. I am an early-to-bed/early-to-rise sort, so would prefer roomies who don't plan to loudly pour themselves into the room at 2am.

    Last night I was blue and lonely, but had no spoons for socializing. Then Deputychairman posted a new Finn/Poe fic that is beautiful and also her response to Brexit because Deputy is fucking amazing. Today is not my best day, either. Riding the elevator up one floor to the office this morning, I remembered going to CrossFit three days a week before work. Now I don't even have the energy to climb one flight of stairs. Then I realized I left my earbuds at home, so no music or videos today.

    I kinda doubt it's gonna take off, but I got an Imzy account (mostly to claim the clevermanka username). If anyone wants an invite code, drop me an email (

  2. winterbymorning says:

    I had a great week at work (govt librarian here) – it seems like after 6 weeks I've reached the point where I know enough to actually be able to HELP people who walk into the library and I no longer freeze with panic when the phone rings. I like my colleagues and they seem to like me and I am proving myself to be smart and competent. I love my job. I hated my previous job and felt trapped and it's SUCH a relief not to wake up with that dread weighing on me.

    Husband and I are going on vacation tomorrow (Switzerland to see my parents and then Cyprus). I'm really excited 🙂 And scared about the flights, but I have enough Ativan to knock out a horse so I should be fine. My cocktail of 1 Ativan + 2 Benadryl is usually enough to put me to sleep for most of a transatlantic flight.

  3. littleinfinity says:

    Welp. I came into work just now and everyone's files are missing from the server. Apparently the new IT guy did an update last night and… now no one has any of their files? I have no idea if this is permanent or not, I feel like they must have a backup somewhere but who knows. Our IT is terrible in general.

    I'm flying to Cincinnati tomorrow for my grandma's 90th birthday. She lives in WV but Cincinnati is the closest major airport, so my dad is flying everyone into there and we're just doing a quick weekend reunion/ dinner/ celebration.

    Manka, I was wondering if you grew up in WV? (the "trash" article yesterday?) My dad's side of the family is from WV and I grew up there till I was 7, then visited my grandparents there for holidays and such. My grandma still complains about her "hick accent," but I love hearing older Appalachians talk because it reminds me of being a kid.

    • CleverManka says:

      The first half of my childhood was spent in small town southern Indiana, about fifteen miles from the Kentucky border. Not quite Appalachia, but close. The second half was in larger-town southern Kansas, but close enough to Oklahoma for that sort of thing to be used against the kids who didn't live on the "right" side of town.

      I hope you get your files back. And maybe a new IT guy? That beats even our IT management fuckery.

    • Lynn says:

      Lord, that is my worst nightmare. I was trying to clean up files on our server last year and somehow deleted an entire folder when I was just trying to delete a subfolder — our IT was able to restore it but now I'm scared to delete anything.

    • Räven says:

      Some years ago I arrived at work to find the tech guy had upgraded everyone's systems overnight. He made a disk image of each computer's user file, installed a clean new system on the drive, then put the user folder back in place. Except on mine, he….. Forgot to do the first step. He just completely wiped my machine. And nobody up the ladder was incredibly concerned about the loss of, you know, All My Work. It was actually the impetus I needed to give notice, so in the end a good thing? BUT I HOPE YOUR FILES ARE BACKED UP SOMEWHERE, because man was that lousy.

  4. Räven says:

    RAWRGGH. I went on vacation with friends, it was more stressful than I had anticipated, and on my return I am grouchy AF. My clients are unpredictably weird and flighty, the super went on vacation without finishing patching my wall, my grocery delivery didn't deliver "one item" the 15 lb box of organic vegetables that was the only reason I ordered, nobody is free to go to an outdoor concert with me this weekend, and my damn toast totes haven't arrived. I just want to kick things. But instead I am going to watch this bold charioteer striving forever toward an unreached destination.

    • Räven says:

      also for serious I ate an entire box of cheddar bunnies for lunch, because that's basically what I got after they cancelled the box of vegetables. THIS IS NOT HOW I WANTED MY DAY TO BE.

  5. Lynn says:

    Well, I took a sick day yesterday and today I am working from home (partly because I still feel a little wobbly but mostly because I feel like I can hold it together as long as I don't have to actually talk to anyone).

    A friend who now lives on the opposite coast was unexpectedly in town yesterday and I'm actually fairly proud of myself for negotiating a way for him to meet up with my boyfriend and I without compromising my health needs (no drinks, because they react badly with my sinus meds, no staying out late so I could go to bed at a reasonable hour). I love that friend dearly but he tends to be a last-minute planner when it comes to social engagements and was also the key figure in my realization last year that I was allowing other people to dictate my social calendar/time off in a way that completely overlooked my own needs. So reaching a compromise that worked for both of us and not feeling guilty about it is a massive step forward.

    Also, yesterday my boyfriend's employer changed their PTO policy so we don't have to worry so much about how we're going to split up the holidays between our two families. So yay for that at least.

  6. Theo_Winterwood says:

    Long week of the "if something can go just wrong enough to be stressful and annoying, it will" kind. Was grateful it was Friday, but also then blew out a tire for no reason whatsoever right as I was getting to work.

    Y'know, that kind of going just wrong enough. I wasn't on the highway, I was basically a stone's throw from the compound gate, but still, ugh, I really didn't a flat tire today.

    And I guess maybe there's a small part of me that's probably unnecessarily grouchy about the whole thing because I've got a couple friends who sometimes email to ask how your day is, but they're also both people who just . . . never seem to be having a good day. So when they asked today, I was about to go, "Eh, got a flat tire and really not feeling well, so not a great start to the morning." But before I could, one of them said that their morning started by getting in a minor accident caused by someone who didn't have a license and is pretty freaked out. And it . . . always feels like it's like this. Clearly I want them to have a good day and I'm not actually mad at them for having bad things happen to them because that would be awful, but it gets exhausting sometimes. And it sometimes feels like because they're both always in crisis mode, my dude and I (the other two people on the emails) kind of just offer sympathy and never actually share anything about how we're doing, and I'm not sure they notice.

    Ugh, sorry, I think I just wanted to vent that.

    In other news, I am always here for talking about literally anything that's fun or interesting. What are folks reading? Watching? Feeling particularly enthusiastic about this week?

    • Merripat says:

      I am weirdly enthusiastic about the server in a café I was today, because he looked like a friend of mine, only with dark hair instead of blonde, AND mentioned that he's from the same area as my friend.

    • CleverManka says:

      Ugh, people like that are the woooorst. I know, because I am one of those people whose life is that way. But I call it my low-hanging cloud and I try to make a joke of it because nobody wants to hear that shit.

      Season 3 of Brooklyn Nine-Nine came out Tuesday so the Burgomaster and I are watching that! I feel like the overall writing isn't as good as the previous two seasons, but it's still good. I love fun cop shows that allow me to pretend that there's a universe out there where the police aren't horrible. *cough*due south*cough*

    • aqueousmedium says:

      I'm sorry your friends aren't equal opportunity listeners – it has to be unpleasant to feel as if someone's gotten in touch ostensibly to ask how you're doing but really just waiting for a chance to unload on you. Please vent away here!

      I am reading Ninefox Gambit and watching UnReal and feeling particularly enthusiastic about the prospect of boozy milkshakes with my bestie after work, followed by wine and Catan.

      • LaxMom says:

        oh…uhhhhh…I kinda feel like here I'm that person??? All I do is vent!! yikes.

        • aqueousmedium says:

          Your life sounds like it is full of massive stressors and it's amazing that you cope as well as you do – if venting to Toasties helps, please have at it! I've also never been under the impression that you're not genuinely interested in what others have to say.

        • CleverManka says:

          No worries, bb, you are NOT that person. That person would be going into other people's comment threads and one-upping them on their misfortunes.

    • Lynn says:

      I needed something fun to read and I stumbled on the Sister Fidelma mystery series, which I guess is old but somehow I'd never seen them before. The main character is an Irish nun and judge in Celtic rule times and apparently Ireland had pretty progressive ideas about both justice and the role of women in that era so she's a total badass (in the book I read she was visiting the Vatican and just bulldozing all the Roman men who didn't understand why she wasn't being "properly" submissive). The mystery itself was kind of convoluted but it was the first new mystery author I'd read since finishing the Miss Fisher novels last year that didn't make me really frustrated with its conservative gender politics and/or lousy writing.

      Wikipedia says there are 26 (!) books in this series so I should be set for a while.

  7. Doc_Paradise says:

    Tonight is our yearly anniversary visit to Atelier ( ) and we are so very much looking forward to it. I had a massage this morning and tried staying present during it (mostly failed but succeeded a bit). I'm feeling pretty okay. This therapy/massage combo schedule if fucking expensive but seems to be working. Today is looking like a good day.

    OMG those dogs. If I tried to make our cats do that… there would be blood and carnage.

  8. meat lord says:

    I'm not feeling too great about work or my work performance. The slower it gets–and it gets very slow–the sloppier we all get, and the more each task or project affects how we're doing overall. (In fact, we've apparently let a small but important thing slide unnoticed for literally months. Ugh. I feel crappy about it–such a lazy error.) I detested all my previous jobs, but at least I had stuff to do for most of most shifts, and I miss that aspect of them.

    On the bright side, things are going wonderfully with the datefriend! And I've been at least working on research for writing, so that's something. Also, my freezer is full of fresh, locally hand-raised pork steaks, chops, and sausage. THIS WILL LAST ME THE WHOLE WINTER.

  9. vladazhael says:

    I have plenty to do at work and am accordingly doing none of it right now.

    Most of my non-work consciousness right now is focused on DragonCon prep, both in terms of costumes/supplies (I'm more low-key about all that than some, but I still have Schemes Afoot) and in figuring out which of my long-distance fandom friends will be there and how to see everyone I want to and still do ALL THE THINGS. I just went through the official con schedule and promptly overbooked the hell out of myself, then dialed it back a little bit, and I still know I'm not going to get to do everything I want to do, but… I mean… Charlie Cox AND Alexander Siddig? My cup runneth over.

  10. laurenipsum says:

    Hiii I have missed you all. I finally have a house! Though we can't move in for a couple of months probably. I have no other news to report. Life is boring.

    • Merripat says:

      Yay!! Congratulations! But what about the farm?

    • CleverManka says:

      Echoing Merripat. Is this a new house on the farm? I feel like I missed something, somewhere!

    • RoseCamelia says:

      Happy new house!

    • RoseCamelia says:

      Reminder: Create a calendar prompt for June or July 2017. You want to call the modular house people then to come out and touch up all the cracks at the drywall seams. You remember that those are inevitable as the house settles after rattling on a truck to your site. Better they should do it than have to do the patching yourself after the 12 month warranty expires.

      Welcome to the club: Happy Modular Home Owners

    • LaxMom says:

      I have a funny modular home story!!!
      My friend lives in southern ohio. There are some things weird about her area. I did a field school there and in the summer, when it rains, the clay swells so much that we'd GAIN 10 cm of height overnight. It was hell on our stratigraphic records.
      Her garage floor is not connected to the walls because it floats enough to need two steps down in the winter and none in summer.
      Not the ideal place for a basement.
      Not only that. When they bought their home it was 11 years old and the foundation was cracked. Partly the clay, partly because they dropped the house a little too hard when it was built, and partly because it was built to be 11 ft deep….

      because the people who built it had an illegal hydroponic grow setup…
      which was so heavy that it cracked the foundation!!!!!!!

      It was a pretty big bust 20 years ago–largest amount ever found in ohio. I remember it from the news, because they freakin' burned it to dispose of it. LOL.

      Anyway, I think she took care of at least 3 or 4 houses' worth of bad luck, so you should be fine with yours! Congratulations!

  11. Merripat says:

    I wasn't around on Wednesday, because I had so much to do, so here's a short update – this was longer, but my phone betrayed me yet again:
    Saw my therapist on Tuesday, so that was a good day. She was very kind and encouraging. The next day was filled with anxiety again, though. Am currently apartment hunting in new city; it's not going so well. And I'm kind of intimated by the Big City, even though I've been here before 🙁

  12. Merripat says:

    Also, Manka, re: your post on Wednesday – you do (what's best for) you. I am so happy this place exists at all, and I wouldn't want a blog post or a tumblr collection if it's only stressing you. I want you to be happy and in a good place.

  13. LaxMom says:

    So, surprisingly enough, staying up until 2 am trying to write while supporting the girl doing her writing, on top of having hormone withdrawal depression, isn't the best way to ensure that you'll have a productive day the next morning.
    The guys actually rang my doorbell to tell me they were chopping up my driveway this time, and I used it as an excuse not to go to work (they don't have anything for me to do there, really, anyway), and I was working on my schedule and my paper but I had to take a lunchtime nap. I am so not looking forward to driving an hour to attend the dept. picnic. I haven't gone to one yet and I RSVP'd but..ugh. I'm so sick of homework takign up my workout time.
    OTOH even with only 4 hours sleep I was more coherent and –I can't think of the right word, but had motivation and thought clearly this morning. So it's probably the pill. Darnit if it isn't wreaking havoc on the rest of me, though. Instant zits, stomach cramps, fun fun fun.
    Okay. Let's see how much I can get done. Homemade potato salad isn't going to happen. I'm just writing.
    I'm going to have to figure out how to balance this shit by next week. I can't keep not exercising. Hopefully the hormones will settle for a bit, anyway.

    • laurenipsum says:

      Hey, I've been thinking of you. Glad to see you're still plugging along. I wish I could send you some potato salad 🙁

      • LaxMom says:

        Is it bad that despite having at least 9 different opportunities to socialize/party/get out of my house/network
        I'm still sitting on my couch, working on the paper in dribs and drabs, and really think, meh, maybe I'll go to the night market, get some seafood on a stick, and spend the weekend knitting and cleaning?

  14. BestLaidPlans says:

    I'm very happy because all the things that should get cancelled or postponed ARE getting cancelled and postponed so I can do fun things instead. And, while my vacation last week was ruined by work responsibilities, I've planned a new vacation over Labor Day. And I'm getting my hair done tonight.

    I hope everyone has a brilliant weekend!

  15. Kazoogrrl says:

    Hopefully we will have a new IKEA mattress by the end of the weekend and my back will feel better. If anyone has opinions on the innerspring line, no latex or foam topper as I get too hot, I'd love to hear them!

    • Onymous says:

      I had a Sultan Hurva full size for two and a half years in Austin.
      A) I was 200+ pounds
      B) it was on the floor not a box spring
      C) It doesn't seem to exist anymore

      I was fairly pleased with it. It was a little softer than I'd like for a mattress marked "extra firm" but in two and a half years of sleeping on it didn't seem to develop any weird sink holes or anything… It was definitely a mattress.

      • Kazoogrrl says:

        Tentative yes on this, I need to watch my posture at my desk as I tend to lean over my arms and cock my left shoulder up, which doesn't help.

    • Doc_Paradise says:

      Having a box spring or the slats underneath it seems to matter. A box spring seems to soften it and slats make it harder than expected.

    • RoseCamelia says:

      Just bought a new mattress. After lying down on lots of new mattresses in stores. It feels so weird, lying down in public.

      I also get too hot. Almost all mattresses today are made with foam. But there is a new technology that creates a cooling foam. You can feel it with just your hand. Mr Rose and I told the salespeople one of our top criteria is keeping cool at night. They steered us away from mattresses without the new cooling tech. That left 80% of their inventory for us to shop. Lots of choices today.

      Good luck.

      • Kazoogrrl says:

        Yes, we were at IKEA, rolling around on about half a dozen different mattresses, and it was weird. At least we weren't the only ones.

        I got a mattress cover that's supposed to help keep us cool, so far so good. We're in MD with no AC, so we need that!

  16. Onymous says:

    I am seriously considering ordering a 25lb bag of Bob's Red Mill's Thick Cut Rolled Oats. I think I've gone through about 8 lbs in the last month and a half.

  17. Pantechnicon says:

    So my sister, who lives on the east coast, flew her daughter across the country on Monday to start her second year at college in the town where I live. We are in the middle of remodeling our house — we have no guest room and a torn-apart bathroom — but we agreed to host the girl overnight and take her to school on Tuesday. Unfortunately, my sister was looking at last year's calendar; the dorms don't open until tomorrow, so we have had an almost-feral 20-year-old sleeping in our living room for the past four nights, with one more to go. My home is my retreat and I can just about keep it together with the level of remodeling disarray, but when you add hot weather and a root canal and an unexpected house guest, well, it's been a week.

  18. LaxMom says:

    Ugh. So I woke up late and then I accidentally sucked a sock into the pool filter while cleaning the filter basket. The actual cramps and depression have ramped up, the paper is not done, the sweater is nowhere near done, and my stupid meds are making me sweat in an insane amount (like 20 minutes vacuuming the pool and my hair and clothes are soaked through) I was supposed to go on a canoe meetup but the drive is an hour one- way and in already going to be 30 minutes late without a shower. And if I go I don't finish the paper or the sweater and I really wont have fun being in an indefinitly long canoe ride with my period. Plus, I have this feeling like im putting off everything else because of this stupid paper and I just want to finish it before insane classes start and maybe have sunday off withou worrying about it?!
    So I bailed on the canoe ride, it's a gorgeous day and I'll spend it inside alone again because of self-imposed goals. WTH is the right way to be here? I know I look pathetic to anyone with a social life but I'm just too overstretched to care. So is this self-care, setting priorities, or hiding from people?

    • RoseCamelia says:

      Priorities. List everything you want to do today/this weekend. Organize list by priority. Schedule the day to guarantee enough time for top priorities. Lower priority items wait for any extra time, may not get time today/this weekend. Accept that.

      None of that is easy. Especially the last two words. But it is necessary for being kind to yourself and for tending your children.

      You are a rock star parent. I see you beating yourself for all that is undone, so I think you could be kinder to yourself. Are you spending your time in ways that align with your priorities? Only you can answer that. There is peace is answering that question.

      • LaxMom says:

        Ok. So intellectually knowing that you're going to have a mood swing and have chosen the time to go off your meds so that it will be over by the time school starts is one thing, and actually dealing with it when it happens is another.
        posting here to keep myself honest: I just want to finish this paper, I've got some kind of block and crisis going on with it. I will give myself 3 hours which should be more than enough time, I'm to the part where I summarize and cut and paste from my other papers to fill in the procedural details.

        Two: I want to work on the sweater, I might want to go buy pool chemicals, I should clean out the baby bunny and mom cage because they are getting awfully big for it and animals need care. I will worry about a clean kitchen in bits as I think about it, because it's something that will help next week go more smoothly and also I can cook ahead tomorrow if I do that.
        I've already done the dishes.

        no kids, so this is a "meet my goals" day. There is a dance but I'm feeling pressure to be social and I'm not going to do things because of social pressure–if I am happy with the paper and the sweater *and* I feel like getting dressed up and going out I will go, but probably not.

        Goals: Finish paper. Put rabbits in a clean cage. Pool–shock it and ignore it. Be outside a bit for fun (bike ride?). Clear off counters, sweep, and clean out fridge. Knit a lot when ever I feel like it, as long as paper is done first.

        Tomorrow: plan, shop, cook, make ahead lunches. knit. Go to potluck friend really really wants me to go to because I haven't seen her since she got married months ago. That bit of social pressure I'll allow, I know it will be lovely once I leave the house. And it's at the end of the day.

        Not worrying about: mowing lawn, vacuuming, folding laundry, taking stuff to charity drop off, finishing laundry, mopping floors.

  19. Crivens_the_hag says:

    I am with you on the hormonal rollercoaster (perimenopause bites) and the school work mental block. AARRRGGH!
    We can do this. We Can Do This. WE CAN DO THIS!
    (i'm pretty sure…)
    all the toast hugs and support.

    • CleverManka says:

      Hey, bb, just FYI, looks like Intense Debate fucked up and posted your reply separately instead of under LaxMom's comment…

    • LaxMom says:

      You are totally right about perimenopause. I liked it when I was younger and my hormones were screwed up–then I only got 4 periods a year. Way better!!!!

      It took way longer than 3 hours. I went to bed at 1 am and it will still need review and tying together by adding connecting sentences among the sections. I'm ignoring it for most of today if I can.
      I hope your work goes more smoothly!

  20. LaxMom says:

    OMG ha ha ha I am a bit of an idiot!!!!!!

    So yesterday I thought I had to be losing my mind, I was sweating so much, all I did was go outside for half an hour and it was ridiculous. I blamed my meds, because they sometimes do that.
    um, I checked the weather. Today it's 82 F. Yesterday? it was 101F and 95% humidity.

    I don't think it was my meds!!!!

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