Mid-week check-in

Clever Manka, · Categories: Check-In

This is the weekly post for those of us who are traversing together this hellscape called Personal Growth. Brag about this week’s accomplishments, ask for support, talk about what worked, what didn’t. Tell us how things are going for you.

94 Responses to “Mid-week check-in”

  1. burningupasun says:

    Hi everyone! I spent the weekend sick with a cold I caught from one of our student workers (don't. come. into. work. while. sick!!!!), which was kind of miserable. It was also weirdly kind of nice though, because my (ldr) girlfriend took care of me so nicely. She kept reminding me to drink orange juice and take my medicine and we spent the whole weekend watching movies. First the Underworld series, then the Resident Evil series. It was fun, and also, I had forgotten how… nice it is, to have someone take care of you like that when you're sick. Even from afar.

    In more personal growth news, I am trying to get back into writing. More than just my weekly women in history posts here, at least. It's… not going too well yet, haha. (I did write a Letter to my Anxiety kind of personal essay thing but editing it ironically makes me anxious.) I'm hoping to jump start it with NaNoWriMo, though! You know… if I can pick one of my many ideas to focus on…

    • damngoodcoffee says:

      I seriously do not understand why people come into work while sick, if they have sick time/are not seriously affected financially. My office mate did that recently, and when I asked, she said, "oh, I'm okay, I can make it." And I didn't know how to say, "well, that's not entirely the point. You're contagious." without sounding harsh.

      But ANYWAY I'm glad that you did have someone to take care of you. How were the movies? I keep thinking about watching Underworld- it seems like it's the right season for it, anyway.

      • burningupasun says:

        Honestly, I don't get it either. I mean… in this case, she was a student worker and a brand new one. I think it's a combo of her being young + new to the job, you know? She doesn't know when it's okay to call out and probably doesn't want to call out during her third week of work, etc. But ugh. When you're sick contagiously, STAY HOME!!! That's what I did, even though Monday I was a little better. I wanted to get past that contagious period.

        Thanks! They were good… I'd actually seen almost all of them before (we were mass re-watching), except the last of the Underworld movies. Like most movies, the further into the series you get, the whackier things are, lol. Underworld (the first) is definitely pretty good. And both series feature strong main female leads, which is awesome, even if the movies themselves aren't perfect. (We're now watching the Alien series, so Ripley is continuing the trend.)

        • Räven says:

          I am mortified to remember that as a young temp in the big city, I absolutely went to a week of work sick, and passed a cold to the other assistants who were *not pleased* and blamed me very angrily for doing it. I did actually really need the money – I was so new to town I hadn't built up any savings – but well over a decade later I'm still embarrassed.

          • damngoodcoffee says:

            Oh there are totally cases where I think it's completely understandable, esp. when your employer isn't great about giving time off. My current employer gives us unlimited paid sick leave and people will still come in when they're contagious; drives me nuts.

          • burningupasun says:

            Yeah I think… if you don't have sick time then obviously I get it. But if you do have sick time and you're contagious, don't come in! The student worker got at least two of us sick and that's not good.

        • damngoodcoffee says:

          Good to know re:Underworld. I'll definitely give at least the first one a try soon. I've been holding off on anything but the first Alien, just b/c of how dark they get. I know Aliens is supposed to be really good too, but IDK, I feel like for now I'm sticking w/the first one.

    • fiddlergirl says:

      yay writing! I'm also thinking of doing NaNoWriMo – this would be my first time with it and I'm intimidated but interested…

      also I think we exchanged postcards in the last toast post round, so hi!

      • burningupasun says:

        Ohhh! I've been doing it for like years and years (over 10 years, though I've only actually won once haha oops). So if you have any NaNo questions, hit me up!

        Also, quite possible, I am horrible at remembering usernames but HIIII!

  2. CleverManka says:

    Basically things are terrible. My energy levels don't even last the workday, so I am barely able to scrape something together for dinner (much less write, or do my yoga homework). I put too much optimism in my part-time work experiment earlier this year, which only taught me that it wasn't enough and now I don't have enough sick time to take off when I feel so tired I could die. Like this morning, after I spent three hours awake last night from more mysterious stomach cramps.
    <img src="http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/clevermanka/1047329/361185/361185_original.gif"&gt;

  3. Lynn says:

    Well I'm halfway through introvert hell and so far so good. Travel was an absolute breeze, especially on the way back (we actually got in early)– now I just want to take a train everywhere, which I can't do because boyfriend and I are both from places where that's not a viable option.

    Also I contributed to the group discussion I attended at my conference which I was super proud about. Working at home until 3 ish to recover and then heading to our fancy fundraiser, which only makes me nervous at the part where we do our pledge "auction" and we're collecting pledges (as that's the part where I need to talk to the most people and also not trip over my own feet).

    Rachel Yamagata is also totally trying to steal my boyfriend. Last year he went to her concert solo (on a friend's ticket who couldn't go last minute) and she told him he had "beautiful eyes" and this year he had to go alone because the concert was while I was traveling and she totally came right up to him, told him he looked familiar, and then signed his CD saying she remembered his beautiful eyes. He does have beautiful eyes (it is the first thing I noticed on his online dating profile), and I alternately find it flattering and also think maybe I need to make sure I go with him to the next concert (mostly so she knows he isn't making up his mysterious never present girlfriend).

  4. Räven says:

    It isn't shocking you're wiped out; as I recall it's a *very formidable* two days, and you went into it broken. Maybe you'll even find that every month you lose a few days physically after the training weekend. That isn't great for you, but if you need 72 hours to puff back up, please take it and let yourself off the hook.

    I hope the teacher training will be something you can get through, and survive, and accomplish, because I know you have been psyched to do it. Don't be frustrated that you set your sights to the highest blue-sky point and are now having to aim lower. It's not a terrible thing to scale back; PLEASE feel free to drop some obligations here if it will help you out. (Do you need folks to step up and run some more days of content for you?)

    I hope you find some respite from today's pain and exhaustion.

    • CleverManka says:

      This is so helpful to hear right now, thank you!

      And I'm ALWAYS interested in putting up other people's essays, please y'all, send me your stuff. I'm working on one right now for someone else. I can help edit/critique a lot better than I can write my own now, so that'd be GREAT.

  5. vladazhael says:

    I did the free class at my gym on Monday as planned, after also having gone and worked the living hell out of my upper back on Saturday, so yay for following through on a thing. The workout itself was decent, though I'll need to recalibrate my weight levels, as I used too much for some things and not enough for others. There's another session tonight, but I'll probably skip it and just go do a regular, non-class session tomorrow because holy SHIT my thighs don't work. So many squats. All the squats. Then lunges, and more squats. Perhaps I'll get up early for the Saturday class (HAHAHAHAHAHA I'm a comedian) or perhaps it will be a once a week thing with varied workouts on other days. We shall see. Options are good.

  6. Doc_Paradise says:

    Saw a new specialist doctor who ruled out some scary stuff and is referring me to another specialist to look at potential nerve damage. It looks like I'm in recovery… but nobody is exactly sure what I'm in recovery from. We have pieces but not the whole and might not ever have the whole picture. This is excellent health news… but I feel really weird about it.

    My best friend taught me the basics of crochet and now I'm making a thingy… likely to be a blanket… I'm making different shaped lumpy rectangles to practice the stitches and linking them together with yellow yarn (like those gold repaired pottery pieces). It's low stress because it doesn't have a defined pattern or required shape. If I make a mistake, I just fill it with the yellow yarn. It doesn't matter if the edges don't line up… more yellow yarn. I'm thinking about embroidering words on it later, such as "NOT DEAD YET".

    <img src="http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/doc_paradise/78089801/664/664_300.jpg&quot; alt="IMG_20160928_132044.jpg" title="IMG_20160928_132044.jpg">

    The FB experiment of making a new account that I use actively with only people I actually want to talk to (rather than passively watching a feed) is working out. I'm enjoying FB. That's kinda amazing.

    • CleverManka says:

      The idea of making a blanket like this is a GREAT idea. I hesitate to use the term "crazy quilt" because reasons but it also seems hilariously appropriate in a very inappropriate way.

    • Heathered says:

      Ooh, I love those pieces! I loom knit washcloths, and at the group that meets at the library the woman running it keeps telling me, "Just stitch them together and you've got a blanket!" I'm considering it.

  7. damngoodcoffee says:

    Things are finally slowing down at work, which means this is the time I should be planning stuff that's coming up in October, but of course now that I don't have to react to stuff all the time, I'm having trouble actually being proactive. So even the little things I get done every day feel like victories. I'm also having my typical PMS/period symptoms: lots of dreaming, fatigue, random tears. All that fun stuff.

    I managed to make pumpkin chocolate chip muffins this weekend, which was nice, b/c I've been busy enough at work that I've been having trouble really getting into the spirit of the fall/pre-Halloween season. Every time I think of a movie/TV show to watch, I manage to talk myself out of it b/c I can't focus. But I really think I just need to push through it, because that's the kind of stuff I know I enjoy.

    I'd like to do some horror movie meetups, but the closest ones are in Boston, which is a solid 4 hours of travel for me total, and are often on Sunday afternoons, late, meaning I'd miss out on sleep before work. The meetups are alright, but that just seems like too much effort for the payoff. But I don't know anyone closer by who'd want to get together and watch something Halloween-ish/horror movie-ish. Last year my sister, my cousin, and I went to Salem, which was lots of fun, then came back to my place to eat pizza and watch The Craft. Basically, I've been busy with work and have been enjoying work (and the people there), but I haven't been connected to the things I usually like about the season. No solutions for this, really, that I can think of; just where I am right now.

    • CleverManka says:

      I bet it's a 99.9% certainty that The Burgomaster has never seen The Craft and maybe the coming month is a good time to fix that. We watched The Babadook last week! I would totally watch scary movies with you, bb.

      • damngoodcoffee says:

        I can't tell if The Craft is something like a movie you had to have grown up with to really enjoy, or if it stands on its own, but either way I will always love it, and hope that The Burgomaster does too. 🙂 And OMG, the kid in The Babadook is damn terrifying.

        • CleverManka says:

          He loved Heathers and didn't see it until last year, so I have hope. He has much more patience for terrible movies than I do, so even if it doesn't hold up (I haven't seen it since it came out!), it'll be fine.

        • Heathered says:

          I watched The Craft for the first time this past Sunday, and while it would no doubt have been a little better to have grown up with it, I fully loved it. Fairuza Balk should be in so many more things. And I want that hairstyle glamour-casting ability so hard right now.

    • Lynn says:

      Since I left academia and don't have natural breaks anymore, I've learned that I need to give myself permission after a busy period to take it easy at work for a day or two, like do filing or even just clean out my email. If I really feel like I need to get stuff done I'll try to break it down into daily segments – today I'm going to set up the spreadsheets I need, tomorrow I'll look at the calendar, that kind of thing . Little victories are totally fine!

      Also pumpkin chocolate chip muffins sound heavenly.

    • Theo_Winterwood says:

      I'm planning on trying for the "31 Horror Movies in October" thing again this year, but pretty much none of my friends are into horror films, so I can't really say it's a social endeavor for me either, sadly. :/

      I don't usually watch a whole lot of movies/tv on a routine basis, so it ends up taking some pre-planning and effort somehow. I also have a tendency to talk myself out of watching things that I know I'll enjoy a lot because I know my focus is . . . not great.

      You've reminded me that someday I would love to do some kind of autumn/Halloweeny road trip to somewhere like Salem–or just somewhere that's beautiful in the fall in general.

  8. Kazoogrrl says:

    Social media, how do people keep up with it when it's not your job? Engaging with people is hard work! ETA: That us to say, plugging away at the podcast.

  9. Heathered says:

    Personal growth is juddering along while professional growth prepares for liftoff. After being told in June that my housing voucher came through and waiting through delay after delay I was prepared for October to be the month when I finally paid discounted rent, only to discover the realtors pulled some bullshit and my account showed "past due rent." (It's not true, and I have the paperwork to show as much). So: Full rent again, but I'm after them to make this right and in the meantime very frustrated. 😛

  10. fiddlergirl says:

    things are actually going really well right now? it's almost freaking me out. antidepressants have been EXCELLENT, I had some physical side effects crop up in weeks 2-4 but they have dissipated and my brain is doing so so so much better now. Kicking ass and taking names at work (much easier to do from outside the fog of depression). I'm happy with some of the pieces I've written for the Coursera creative writing thing I'm auditing, and I've written two songs which are not even that crappy. Working on making them less crappy. Mostly I'm ECSTATIC to be making stuff.

    My ongoing tasks are to try and keep those fires burning, and continue to work on cultivating my friendships + social network, which doesn't come very naturally for me. I have ambitions to host a pumpkin-carving party later this month, which would also serve as kind of a housewarming thing and ensure that we actually carve pumpkins ourselves, instead of waiting till the 30th and being like "well crap".

  11. Frumiosa says:

    I'm thinking that my book project may work better as a podcast, and my editing partner is putting me in touch with friends who already run a very successful podcast on religion, to see if they have advice or maybe even want to collaborate. So that's an interesting wrinkle. Trying not to get my hopes up after how frustrating this process has been already. Going into the Jewish high holidays trying to be as self-reflective as possible without also being self-flagellating, which I don't think I know how to do.

  12. Rillquiet says:

    I'm between injuries, so getting back into the swing of things at the gym is the main cause of discomfort. Decline situps are the latest dreadful innovation and I whole-absedly disapprove of them, but after a year of set-backs and unexpected health problems, any progress feels like a win.

    In happier news, my sister's new puppy is (a) the cutest and (b) probably half pig, judging by his stumpy tail and the way he grunts in his chest. He is in the "chew everything" phase, which leads to puppy hiccups, so it's face-melting cuteness pretty much all the time with him. She's working on socializing him and plans to bring him to the barn this weekend to learn about horses. My regular partner, Himself, doesn't care at all about dogs unless they misbehave, which the puppy is too little to do in any meaningful way, so it should be a grand and photogenic time.

    Jedi hugs to everyone who needs 'em this week!

  13. Merripat says:

    Yeah, well, everything's shit over here. In this moment right now, I'm ok, but generally it's terrible. I'm in New City now, and I can't stop blaming myself for not going for the other option. It feels like I've ruined my life. The worst thing is that a similar thing happened back when I first started university – I realised too late what I actually wanted and then didn't follow through with it, and I can't believe and don't understand how this has happened again.
    I met up with my brother this evening, and I'm a little bit better now. But I can't hang out with him all the time, of course.

    • Heathered says:

      Ooh, that sense that you've self-sabotaged while trying to make the best possible decision is just a pernicious load of poo. It might be true, but it might also be true that the unmade choice also looks to have been the best one, especially when the here and now feel so awful. Try to hang in there and look for signs that point to okayness. I have literally made a bingo card to this effect when really sad, like, OK, I like licorice allsorts, what if I go out and see some in a store, or favorite books/authors/artists and other little tiny signposts that it's not all a shitty conspiracy of doom. Embarrassing and dorky? Yes, but it did help. Wishing you the best, and a blackout bingo card of whatever most pleases you.

      • Merripat says:

        Thanks, that is a great idea.

      • vladazhael says:

        This! The other option that now only exists in the realm of fantasy often looks a whole lot better than the one you're actively struggling to cope with right now. Be kind to yourself and find small comforts where you can until they add up to a larger sense of peace.

  14. vladazhael says:

    Note for any Hamilton fans: the Battle of Yorktown started this day in 1781. I just happened to wear my Guns & Ships shirt today without being aware of that fact. I am quite proud of myself.

  15. littleinfinity says:

    Well. I found out this morning that my lovely, amazing, supportive boss has been diagnosed with colon cancer and will be out of work for at least the next month having surgery and recuperating. She seems fairly optimistic, and the prognosis is good so far, but they won't really know for sure till they get in there and check whether it's spread. So it's upsetting because, well, we all like her, and we would like to request that cancer just NOT, okay??? Jeez, cancer, always showing up where you're not wanted. 🙁

    In response (??) to this news my right hand has developed some kind of hives/ allergic reaction. Seriously, I never have any kind of skin allergy or hive-like situation, and right after the meeting where she told us, my hand started getting all itchy and red/swollen in various spots. Very weird and possibly psychosomatic.

  16. Crivens_the_hag says:

    Glorious Mankanites, Toasties and Space Witches-I have volunteered at TWO voter registration drives in the last two weeks. Last evening I helped 3 people register to vote! It. Was. AMAZING! Doing something to keep Ohio blue actually seems to reduce my election-related anxiety. Oddly, Target management kicked us off the property but Walmart didn't seem to mind our activities. Who would have guessed? Next week I'm thinking the local YMCA is a target rich environment, voter registration wise. Fingers crossed!
    In other news, school and work still kicking my butt. Alas.
    I <3 you all!

    • vladazhael says:

      As a resident of an impenetrably red state, I thank you from the button of my blue heart.

      • Crivens_the_hag says:

        I've lived in a red state before. I felt like a Martian. Honestly the swing state is more stressful, but maybe makes a difference? (fingers crossed)

    • Onymous says:

      I think Target considers people hanging around outside their buildings to be off-brand, and they are very concerned with remaining on-brand.

      Wal-Mart by contrast does not give a shit.

      N.B. it's official wal-mart policy to let people sleep in their parking lots, which you know: well lit, has cameras, safer then the side of the road. Wal-Mart: not actually completely evil.

      • Crivens_the_hag says:

        Right?!? I struggle to remember this in light of their evil tendencies in regard to their employees. Either way, moar voters! Yay!

  17. dancingcorvid says:

    one whack theatrical production opened tonight – Immersive Winter's Tale, directed by a local guy who worked on Sleep No More when it came to Boston and then to Brooklyn, and I have been calling it Winter's Tale No More. I made a tunnel no one in their right mind would crawl down, and fixed a step inside a wardrobe (that my poor brain could only label Narnia when I was asking questions about it) to keep people from falling downstairs all the way to the cellar.

    The elder child has a room in the house of nerds, and starts work on Monday. The younger daughter invited me out for breakfast on my birthday which was yesterday, and described her recent geology lab as "your friend density".

    In less good news, my giant brother, who could be a doppleganger for Hagrid, had a cold that was kicking his ass, it turned into bronchitis he was taking antibiotics for when I last saw him, and developed into pneumonia. Of a kindness, think good thoughts for him. He is in hospital, sleeping a lot and getting IV antibiotics, but this a year after a throat cancer scare is, well, scary.

    the resst of the mother news is that she gave up on sorting or thinning the herd of her belongings and took them all with her, to sort and curate in the new place. So she will not, in fact, have a garage because it is full of crap. Authentic, useful, some antique but mostly crap, crap.

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