Thursday Link Dump

Clever Manka, · Categories: Thursday Link Dump

well-fed

Just a reminder that my hero/inspiration Melissa Joulwan’s Well Fed Weeknights comes out soon and you can pre-order it here. There are tons of great pre-order bonuses! Check out the 72-page preview, too!

If you’re looking for other (financial) ways to support fantastic women, The Body Pos Project has a Kickstarter:

In a culture saturated with imagery that often represents a singular type of beauty and body, the Body Pos Project is determined to fill the digital world with new voices.

The Body Pos Project shares profiles and portraits of women who are boldly redefining body positivity by showcasing new ideals of beauty, confidence and vulnerability. By creating a website and Instagram feed dedicated to publishing these women’s stories, our goal is to inspire all women to create relationships with their bodies that are radically loving.

They have a little over a week to go, and are only about half-way to goal. A friend of mine is one of their Body Pos Champions (Rebekah, pictured on the Kickstarter site) and I’m heartbroken that I can’t help support it right now since I’m back to paying non-insurance-covered doctors again after nearly a year off.

I have so many pairs of kid gloves. I started buying them in thrift stores and flea markets (pre-eBay, when vintage items were thick on the ground) and I’ve held onto them even though I never wear them anymore. I’m tempted to send them all to amazing artist Bunnie Reiss.

Robin (who is my opposite in nearly All The Ways) retweeted this last week:

epl

It made me laugh because the most creative challenge of my life will be learning how to approach all the love and compassion crap I’m gonna have to wade through for the next year in my yoga teacher training. My inner darkness and I are fuckin’ tight. The very idea that I have the capacity for world-wide compassion makes me balk. I guarantee you that’s coming up in an essay at some point. If I can get to the point where I have the energy to actually be introspective without my brain shutting down.

This article about Shakespeare’s most popular plays is worth it just for the flow chart.

Postcards 5evah, for real. I miss ToastPost. There are some people who are keeping it going but I can’t commit to another round yet/right now.

50 Responses to “Thursday Link Dump”

  1. melissajoulwan says:

    Thank you for sharing the news about my new cookbook! How awesome is it that The Stray Cats brought us together so long ago? XO

  2. Rillquiet says:

    Giselle is one of my least favorite of the big story ballets, mostly because the half with the Wilis drifting around is visually soporific. It's too bad, because the idea of there being enough dead women out for vengeance could be used to explore major issues, like exactly why there are so many angry female spirits, but instead it's usually framed as a chance for companies to show off how well their corps can move and how beautiful the women look.

    But the new English National Ballet version looks witches as FUCK, even just in rehearsal footage. Full marks to the ENB and Akram Khan.

    <img src=https://i.guim.co.uk/img/media/28d9df5d608731ece55692246e83402d19107d09/0_173_3780_2268/master/3780.jpg?w=620&q=55&auto=format&usm=12&fit=max&s=687bdf70a8334199d0db002230088eea>

  3. Doc_Paradise says:

    "It made me laugh because the most creative challenge of my life will be learning how to approach all the love and compassion crap I’m gonna have to wade through for the next year in my yoga teacher training. My inner darkness and I are fuckin’ tight. The very idea that I have the capacity for world-wide compassion makes me balk."

    I may have some resources that don't involve unicorns farting rainbows. We can talk criteria sometime if you want and I can sift through my resources to see what matches.

  4. Lynn says:

    Manka, do you find that some of your hesitation around love and compassion talk is due to living in the Bible Belt? Because I am just starting to realize how much my own knee-jerk queasiness with any kind of sincerely expressed talk about positive emotions is sort of a built in reaction to growing up in a place where talk about "love" and "finding your path" was generally coming from religious sources I did not agree with (and whose vision for my "path" generally involved me submitting to their version of God).

    I'm only now realizing how much the general religious climate of Oklahoma affected me even growing up in a family which never fully participated in it.

    • CleverManka says:

      I think I'm just grumpy and misanthropic by nature. I so much appreciate and respect the people who really do care about humanity (like the Burgomaster and my yoga teacher). I'm incredibly grateful those people exist and I enjoy being around them. I'm just not one of them.

    • Onymous says:

      I grew up in a house that just didn't talk about emotions.
      We did however prize a quick tongue and so a lot of my intersibling interactions is based on point scoring.

      Combined I reflexively deflect any sort of RealTalk and have a deep seated instinct/true-self that constantly wants to show off by 'proving' others are worse (at whatever) than I am. Does not make it easy to believe I'm not in fact terrible.

  5. vladazhael says:

    "My inner darkness and I are fuckin’ tight."

    Mmmmmmmmhmm. I hear that. http://www.memes.com/img/733998

  6. Heathered says:

    I was going to ask but now that I've squinted super hard I can see that that book is paleo. I'm willing to eschew the rice and prioritize the beans, but meat is hard for me. However, that photo is so straight-up adorable I'm tempted to check it out anyway and see how I might do a leafy paleo variation.

    Oh! And I am not remotely smart enough to coordinate a Toast Post type thing, but anyone who wants to receive a handwritten letter once in a blue moon can reach out to me here.

    • CleverManka says:

      Paleo eating isn't for everyone, and that's cool. Thanks for at least checking out the book! Melissa is a fantastic chef and creates delicious flavor combos. She has tons of vegetable and side dish recipes on her website for free, too!

      • Heathered says:

        Ooh, I opened the preview, and it's clear that if any of that food was within 50 feet of me I'd be all, "Well, I don't like m–nomnomnomnomnom." Good gracious. Yum.

        • melissajoulwan says:

          Heather! You can totally eat my recipes and make them "less paleo"… add rice, reduce or replace meat. I'm not super preachy about the paleo thing. I just want people to eat healthy food that makes them happy.

          #happyfood

          • Heathered says:

            Oh, thank you! I've tried a few different anti-inflammatory regimens & diet doesn't seem to hold the key for that stuff with me, but I will so totally make a crock pot full of potatoes to play with all week! And I loved–and I mean LOVED loved–your basic kitchen supplies run down and just how accessible and "come, sit, eat!" the whole book is. I just wanted to run outside and shove a whole chicken in my mouth, but potatoes are a better place to start.

          • melissajoulwan says:

            I actually love the visual of someone shoving a whole chicken in their mouth! Maybe roasted first, though? Happy weekend!

  7. Kazoogrrl says:

    I feel like your compassion essay should appear in the form of an online petition so a bunch of the rest of us can co-sign.

    • CleverManka says:

      It's not gonna be an easy one to write. I'm REALLY STRUGGLING with the one I want to post for next Wednesday (which I need to finish today if I'm going to give my critique buddy sufficient time to look it over) and it only lightly touches on the topic. Ughghghghghghgh.

  8. silverandsnow says:

    Okay, so that cookbook preview makes me think I could introduce Paleo meals into my diet. My eating habits are crap and I can only partially blame working two jobs and having no energy to cook – maybe if I cooked healthier meals I'd have more energy, hmmm.

    • CleverManka says:

      I was a vegetarian for seven years and I know I wouldn't still be functioning at the minimal levels I am currently if I was still eating that way. Vegetarianism works for a lot of people and I'd never try to convert them. But it's not the way my body functions best.

      Melissa also has a weekly menu planning newsletter, if you'd like to sign up for that!

    • melissajoulwan says:

      You are exactly the person I made this cookbook for. I LOVE to eat food that tastes good, but if I could somehow do it without cooking, that would be the best. These recipes are super fast and they don't require any special cooking mojo. Try a few from the sampler! Maybe you'll gain superpowers 🙂

      • silverandsnow says:

        Sold. And I've signed up for the newsletter, too – regular reminders of what the effort of cooking can result in might be just what I need to get in the cooking habit again!

  9. Theo_Winterwood says:

    Aaah, postcards. I have a slightly embarrassing number (okay, probably less than forty?) of old postcards from various antique stores I've been in over the last few years. I generally try pretty hard only to get ones that actually had something written on them to someone–Although, really, it's an odd thing to collect for someone as notoriously terrible at keeping in touch with people as I am.

  10. damngoodcoffee says:

    This is random but does anyone have self-care ideas for when anxiety is triggered? I know I know some, but honestly I'm not thinking too clearly right now.

    Also v. excited about the cookbook. I'm a vegetarian, but am gluten free and am trying to do more Paleo baking, at least.

    • CleverManka says:

      A friend of mine has a paleo baking cookbook and the recipes I tried from it were great. I am 99% sure it was this one.

    • vladazhael says:

      Indulge in small comforts (favorite TV shows, foods, etc.), reduce demands on yourself as much as possible (especially the ones coming FROM yourself – those can be the worst), and do little things to counteract whatever triggers your anxiety (like if you have issues with change and upheaval, find or preserve routines – even miniscule, meaningless ones – that help you feel more grounded).

      Also, assuming this is an option for you, don't be afraid to (safely, in appropriate doses) medicate yourself in order to get some rest so that you can be strong enough to fight when you really need to. Nothing wrong with a Xanax (or a shot of whiskey, in a pinch) to help you sleep at night during stressful times if it means you wake up feeling like you've rested and not stared at your ceiling in a state of cat-like readiness for 8 hours. Sleep is self-care.

      • damngoodcoffee says:

        Thank you- this is all really helpful. I've already taken some proactive steps after the triggering incident to help me feel more in control. (It basically had to do with a random creepy guy being randomly creepy, and me worrying about my safety in response, b/c invasive/inappropriate men are my #1 trigger. Even though it will absolutely more than likely turn into nothing, I got second opinions and reported it just to get it on record.) When I get home & this weekend there will be those little indulgences, definitely, and sticking to routines. I've had reservations about medications in the past (about how I would deal with side effects, mostly), but I totally agree about sleep being a necessary part of self-care. Though I don't have any medication right now, I think I'm closer to asking about the option for the reasons you described.

        • vladazhael says:

          One of the nice things about emergency meds like benzodiazepines and their ilk is that it's not the sort of thing you have to go all in on. (I mean unless you go truly overboard and get physiologically dependent on them, which, you know… don't.) If you don't like the effects, you can just not take them again. And if they do work out for you, they're still just there to get you through the really rough patches and/or help you rest and fight another day, and when you don't need them, they can disappear into the background while you go about the business of managing things yourself. If you're the type of person who has occasional/situational anxiety spikes but not necessarily a need for daily maintenance (like me), they can be a good weapon to have in your arsenal, even if you don't end up using them much.

          Best of luck to you!

    • Doc_Paradise says:

      Grounding has been helping me.

    • Xolandra says:

      I am so late, and i truly hope that you are not still struggling with this, but if your manifestations are like mine, it's probably more of a "keep it at bay" than "truly resolve". So, this is one of my favourite things on the Internet. On bad days, i just keep it open in a browser and flip there whenever I need it: <img src="https://31.media.tumblr.com/b1406ea40336dc68e5404b380c391d96/tumblr_nsj9tcMOgY1qkv5xlo1_500.gif&quot; alt="deep breath" />

  11. littleinfinity says:

    Female entrepreneurs: erase your lady names from the internet! http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2016/09/29/m

    (edited to add massive eyeroll O.o)

    • vladazhael says:

      This whole time I've been fighting the patriarchy, when really my only problem is that I insist on existing as a woman. This changes everything!

    • Doc_Paradise says:

      My legal name can be mistaken (depending on the order and language of the reader/speaker) for either feminine or masculine. I'm agender.

      Initials with last name aren't read as neutral or agender. They are read as masculine. There is almost no way to easily identify as agender or neutral. I've run into the use of Mx. in some places but it isn't wide spread.

      • littleinfinity says:

        I used to T.A. a research methods class where the students had to read academic articles … you would (probably not actually) be amazed at the number of times students apparently went out of their way to interpret the author's name as being masculine. Even when their full name was provided. Even in female-dominant fields like developmental psych. Even though there was no need to ever discuss the gender of the author in the first place.

        • Doc_Paradise says:

          I believe it. When I was in undergrad engineering two of my classmates (men) were discussing how they couldn't get dates. They turned to a woman classmate of ours who loved to dress very feminine and said "If you were a woman, what would you think?"

    • Räven says:

      Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh
      Thanks for posting. This is what I thought the world was like back in eighth grade, and that's exactly what it's like.

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