Mid-week check-in

Clever Manka, · Categories: Check-In

My new crush wants to know how you’re doing

This is the weekly post for those of us who are traversing together this hellscape called Personal Growth. Brag about this week’s accomplishments, ask for support, talk about what worked, what didn’t. Tell us how things are going for you.

129 Responses to “Mid-week check-in”

  1. meat_lord says:

    Manka, your open threads are the highlight of my Wednesday, honestly. I wait eagerly for them to go up.

    On my mind this week: How to separate activism stuff from my leisure/entertainment/sanity-regaining time.

    I use Tumblr a lot, and my dash is a jumble of news, cute animal gifs, urgent calls to political action, fanart, important causes to donate to, and memes. As a result, I get caught up in reblogging a lot of political stuff instead of using my limited energy to call or write my reps, etc. (i.e. do anything with a more substantial impact). I also don't have a genuinely relaxing/distracting online space.

    I'm thinking that if I can control the amount of urgent political stuff that I see, I'll get less overwhelmed and be more able to act. It will probably help my mental health, too.

    Is anyone else working on this kind of balance? Tips? Tricks? Right now I'm thinking that New XKit's blacklist function might be where it's at–but it doesn't work on mobile, which I use a lot. Maybe I need an alternative to Tumblr…

    • Rillquiet says:

      I just finished reading an article that may help: How to stay outraged without losing your mind.

      • CleverManka says:

        I've already included that in tomorrow's Dump!

      • littleinfinity says:

        <clicks aggressively>
        Thanks for that link. I have definitely been struggling this week with balance and trying not to be all outrage, all the time.

      • meat_lord says:

        Oooh, that's a good article. I think the key thing that I'm getting from it is that I can/should pick one or two issues to focus on. It's so hard to take action when you want to fix all the things, so having key issues to work on will give me permission to tune out some of the alarming crap.

        • Räven says:

          I've also noticed that in my friends group our top single issues are pretty diverse, which means we have different things we feel we MUST show up for – but sometimes we can tag along to each others' town halls and rallies and it's companionable and lowkey inspiring, in a way it wouldn't be if we all had to attend every single event in the city because we would have lost our marbles by now.

    • CleverManka says:

      I'm still working on it. I have no idea how to manage it yet. I don't want to be uniformed, but the information is exhausting. And the fact that we're all in this together is absolutely NOT comforting.

      So good to hear the check-ins help you get through your Wednesdays, though!
      <img src="http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/clevermanka/1047329/352291/352291_600.gif"&gt;

    • pseudonymica says:

      I'm in the midst of this struggle too. I signed up for https://dailyaction.org yesterday, and today they sent a text with a phone number to call the Army Corp of Engineers about DAPL.
      https://www.womensmarch.com is organizing a series of actions for the first 100 days. Also, I started actually opening and reading email from causes I have supported in the past, and that feels more solid than the terrible juggling act of trying to do something from facebook.

    • damngoodcoffee says:

      I've been so busy with work that I've just been avoiding the extra stress since the march on Saturday, but I'm planning to get to calling some reps again, either tonight or tomorrow night. So I do that and have small monthly donations set up (and generally in my job encourage students to find quality information and always trace back information when doing research). But that also means I haven't been on social media and I feel left out of a lot convos going on. So… balance, yeah.

    • Doc_Paradise says:

      I use multiple accounts to manage information flow on various things. So I'd probably have separate tumblrs for social justice/politics and for fluff… that said, I haven't been on my own tumblr in ages.

    • sherwood21 says:

      I hadn't really thought about this til I read your post, but I think figuring out ways to compartmentalize it is a good idea. I re-activated my twitter account, and unfollowed all the people on it, and am going to keep it exclusively for political/local/government stuff. (Followed @AltNatParkSer, for the rogue park rangers.)

    • Kazoogrrl says:

      Fantastic question! My Tumblr is full of smart, aware, concerned fans, so it's not really a respite. Actually, Instagram has been good for that, now that the flood from Saturday is slowed down. And I purposely look at lots of hippy dippy lifestyle accounts, and fiber ones, to keep myself calm.

    • Kazoogrrl says:

      Oh, I went to the local Baltimore march Saturday, it was more of a rally/action and pretty small (a few thousand people) because most locals went to DC. Just those few hours wiped me out for most of the rest of the day, I think it was the, "I can't believe I'm still protesting this shit" kind of mental exhaustion, even as I was gladdened at the very diverse crowd.

    • jenavira says:

      Oh, I hear you. I'm figuring out how to block twitter on all my devices (because twitter is an absolutely endless stream of outrage for me) but Tumblr…I need my Tumblr. But it's draining to me right now, and I don't know how to fix it.

      (So, er, I don't have a solution unfortunately, but I do have commiseration.)

  2. vladazhael says:

    Your new crush is adorable and he makes the world brighter.

    This week has been a mixed bag. On one hand, I think the new meds are doing what they're supposed to do, but they're also causing elevated blood pressure and insomnia (which I'm willing to put up with in the hope that they'll calm back down, but it would be nice to know for sure that they *will*). On one hand, I'm more fired up and active and able to do stuff to resist the political climate (I finally left messages for senators, among other things), but on the other hand, staying informed is exhausting and demoralizing and counterproductive to reducing anxiety. On one hand, I'm doing a better job of reaching out to friends and caring for myself and others and opening up to people I trust, but on the other hand the political climate makes it feel like my loved ones and I are the little old couple lying on a bed together while the Titanic sinks. I got back to the gym earlier this week (yay), though I'm going to have to stop again for my surgery next week (boo). I have my tubal ligation surgery next week (yay), but… actually that's awesome and I don't have a counterpoint for it, just high hopes for no complications and easy healing.

    I stumbled across this article this morning, and I'm going to share it here for those of us who are traversing the political hellscape as well as the personal growth one. I found it helpful and I'm sure I'll be revisiting it, and in the spirit of caring for each other in these trying times, I pass it on to all of you. Go forth and be awesome! https://medium.com/the-coffeelicious/how-to-stayo

    • meat_lord says:

      That is a very mixed mixed bag! I'm glad that at least one thing is all upside. May your tubal ligation go smoothly and your healing be swift!

    • vladazhael says:

      Also in positive news: my lipstick is ON POINT today.

    • CleverManka says:

      Fuck yeah good lipstick!

      Something nobody will tell you before a tubal is that you'll want to have super gentle poops for a while, so EAT YOUR FIBER! Even though you might not feel like eating for a couple days after surgery (I didn't). If you absolutely can't choke down heavy stuff, consider keeping constipation at bay with something like Beanitos.

      • vladazhael says:

        Noted and thanks! I've been compiling a list of stuff to have on hand based on some careful online research, and I will take all the personal advice I can get. The only other surgery I've ever had was for my wisdom teeth, so this is a whole new experience for me in several ways.

    • Räven says:

      Wait are we supposed to know the crush? Is it an actor?

  3. redheadfae says:

    I'm working on myself by taking yet another regroup day off. Working on getting KS taxes fixed (thank you IRS for holding our refund for two years because some trash needed to prove their stolen identity to you, instead of notifying the persons who've filed from the same address for YEARS). Working on applying for SS.
    Getting off FB more and feeling better about it. (after making a bunch of post, of course).
    I got my genetic testing blood draw done yesterday. Now to wait for results and hope that our theory is positive. Still worried about Daddy being down to 145 lbs, and encourage him not so gently to move up his annual physical.

    So, basically, taking care of What Needs Done.

    • CleverManka says:

      Working on applying for SS.
      That seems so weird.

      • redheadfae says:

        OMG, I use work acronyms so thoughtlessly.
        Ugh, yeh.. let's call it by the full abbreviation: SSDI

        (I don't know if that's any better, I read DI as drill instructor)

        • CleverManka says:

          Well I was half right reading it as Social Security! I thought that was a little early the game for you, but thought maybe something else was factoring in, and indeed, the DI makes a difference. =D

          • redheadfae says:

            Haha.. and here I thought you were reading it as SS, like the horrid Nazis, and being funny.

            Side comment on being too political.. like what a sad example is it that I'm now reading everything clouded by a lens of watching out for white supremacy. *lower case used deliberately because that shit doesn't rate being given proper capitalization. They get enough of that.

    • sherwood21 says:

      Congrats on working on What Needs Done! I've heard SSDI is a pain in the butt to get approved, so I'm keeping my fingers crossed for you that it goes as smoothly and quickly as possible.

      • redheadfae says:

        Thank you. I think it will all hinge on whether or not I get a firm diagnosis on this degenerative nerve disorder/disease.

    • jenavira says:

      Well done you! That's a lot of What Needs Done, you deserve a day off. Good luck on the SSDI.

      • redheadfae says:

        Thank you. I felt like it was a lot, but it didn't look like much of a list, so it's good to hear it from someone else.

  4. CleverManka says:

    At yesterday's appointment with Dr. Sexy, he was (like me) disappointed but not surprised by my lack of improvement. I'm getting more blood drawn on Saturday (some re-takes, a couple new tests), we're upping some of my supplement therapies and eliminating one. Also, I'm pretty much on bed rest when I'm not at work for the next two weeks. I'm not supposed to do anything other than go to work. That's something I had problems doing after my surgery so it's gonna be extra fun to attempt it now.

    I might have to drop out of yoga teacher training if things don't improve by the end of February.

    I went to bed at 8:30 last night and almost slept the entire night to 6:30. I woke up once to pee, and once too hot, but fell asleep pretty quickly after both times. Still had difficulty getting up. Going to try an 8pm bedtime tonight.

  5. littleinfinity says:

    This week has been… ups and downs, I guess. I marched on Friday with the #unitedagainsthate march in LA, in the pouring pouring rain, with a bunch of other people joking that the only thing Angelenos hate more than cold rain is Tr*mp. Is true. Then my friends and I got dinner and went to a tiny concert and that was a nice distraction. I didn't do the women's march on Saturday because I was tired from Friday, which I kind of regretted in retrospect because it was so amazing and uplifting to see everyone out there! But I guess the rainy protests need support even more, i.e. every umbrella counts. I was definitely watching/ supporting from home on Saturday. It made me so happy to see everyone being fierce and funny and outspoken and LOUD, and I took a walk and bought some books by women and did some brainstorming/ writing and generally felt optimistic. But then the last few days I've been so angry and ragefilled and ughhhh can't deal with all the snide smug men making asshole comments and cutting programs they barely understand. I did go to the gym on Monday and my workout was definitely Brought To You By Pure Rage.

    I feel like I used to talk/ care about things besides politics? Does anyone else remember this? Back in the day?

  6. FriendOfDaja says:

    I'm feeling what everyone else is feeling, which is "How do you keep track of what new bs is going on in politics, and also help effect social change without having an emotional breakdown every 2 days?" So thank you everyone who's posting those articles! Also still getting brief flashes of "Oh yeah, my parents have now been separated for 2 months", which adds to the fun.

    But I just had my first grad school class last night (Intercultural Relations, which will be interesting given the political climate), and I got to hear positive feedback in my mid-year review today. To quote Hyperbole and a Half, "Maybe everything isn't hopeless bullshit after all!"

  7. Yarnybarny says:

    Hey, I got a bill from my healthcare provider yesterday for my entire deductible ($500) because I got some lab tests done last fall. I am kind of shocked by this (why did no one mention the tests weren't covered? Why did it take them almost 3 months to get the bill to me?) but mostly I am just wondering if there is anything that can be done. I know I can set up a payment plan but is there anyway to say "I really feel like someone should have told me and I also really feel like I can't go to my doctor if this is going to happen again" and would saying that to my doctor's office have a purpose?

    • CleverManka says:

      UGH just FUCK insurance and offices that don't give you full information. That's horrible. I know there are guides/suggestions for questioning medical bills and you shouldn't always pay them without queries first but I'm sorry I don't have one handy. Maybe someone else has a lead?

      • redheadfae says:

        The info is on your EOB (Explanation of Benefits), they are required by law to give it to you. Yes, always appeal if you're unsure. I had a test charged to me that was clearly supposed to be paid last year as well. Mistakes do happen.
        The next step if your appeal of the claim is denied, is an external appeal, and then a letter to the State Dept of Insur can sometimes get them to come around.

        • vladazhael says:

          ^THIS. Sometimes it's the provider billing things incorrectly, sometimes it's the insurance company doing things wrong, but mistakes are all over the place and a lot of them just go unnoticed. Fight it.

    • littleinfinity says:

      I'm sorry. 🙁 I still have an outstanding bill for $600 from my therapist, back when I was a new patient and went for several sessions before I realized it wasn't covered by insurance because my mental health was (wait for it…) a pre-existing condition. Even though she swore it would be covered. So that's fun and no more fancy therapy for me, whee! I did try "I really feel like someone should have told me", but ultimately I think it just comes down to "insurance companies suck".

      • redheadfae says:

        Are you in a plan that was grandfathered in to the ACA? Because otherwise, that's plain bullshite and illegal for them to refuse on those grounds.

        • littleinfinity says:

          Hmm. I don't know! I have Cigna PPO through my work. My therapist originally said that she would call them and discuss with them, but then I guess she either didn't or couldn't, and I have been employing the strategy of Extreme Avoidance. I know nothing about insurance… should I call them?

          • vladazhael says:

            YES call them! Insurance companies screw up all the time, both on purpose and not. Do your best to try to get through to a human and make them walk you through every bit and piece of this. Try to get a copy of your whole plan booklet (if you don't already have a digital or physical copy handy, your HR department can get you one), make them cite page numbers, and look to verify what they're saying. Keep them on the phone until you're satisfied.

          • littleinfinity says:

            Externally: Thank you! That sounds like a great idea and I have no problem performing these actions, because I am a competent adult.

            Internally: <img src="https://media.giphy.com/media/Bq7yz8gBShy5a/giphy.gif"&gt;

            (but seriously thank you and I will try)

    • Lynn says:

      I used to do insurance billing for a mental health provider and it is an extra 50 % more fuss on top of regular insurance bullshit. So many times I had to fight with an insurance company over claims that were denied for bs reasons. I was really bored, though, which was why I had time to follow up on denied claims — lots of medical offices have too much initial billing to do more than file once and kick it back to the patient if the insurance company denies the claim.

      My one biggest lesson from that time: not all insurance customer service reps are created equal. If you're talking to an insurance rep and they seem like they either don't know what they are talking about or are just going to stonewall because the claim has been denied once, hang up and call back in a few minutes. You'll usually get someone different, and sometimes you'll get someone who will at least look into the details of why the claim was denied, which can sometimes result in a realization that it was denied by mistake or because of a typo or bad billing code (there are so many codes for office visits, and some plans are super picky about the ones they'll actually pay for).

      • vladazhael says:

        I used to do insurance billing for weird, expensive medications that required prior authorizations and I second this.

    • Pantechnicon says:

      Echoing all of those who say definitely call your doctor's office and have a chat. I got an insurance bill for $1,250 after my last round of lab tests and you can believe I called right away. Turns out my dr uses an "experimental" test that the insurance company won't pay for, but the dr absorbs the cost. Don't you think they could have warned me?!

  8. Fancy_Pants says:

    Ugh you guys. Teaching is HARD. I'm lecturing my first full class ever and it's hard and overwhelming, and I haaaate feeling like I'm doing a bad job at something even though it's my first time doing it so of COURSE I'm not going to be great.

    In theory (in terms of personal growth), it's probably really important for me to have to accept doing a mediocre job at something and just get the work done. In practice, I'm just nauseous and tense all the time. LIFE is hard.

    • meat_lord says:

      Oh man, I feel you SO HARD. I also have trouble accepting that I've done a less than flawless job at anything, so… yeah. I know doing something imperfectly is better than not doing it, but the anxiety gremlin sitting in my hindbrain vehemently disagrees. Good luck with internalizing that.

      • Fancy_Pants says:

        Oooh it's a struggle. Curse you, anxiety gremlin! I'm starting to realize how much my perfectionism and my issues with procrastination are the SAME THING and very closely related to my anxiety stuff.

        As painful as this is, it might be the best thing for me, exposure-therapy style, to just have to get things done on time even if they're terrible.

        • LaxMom says:

          That is where I am with my remote sensing. The online course development clashes with the face to face stuff and I need to focus on the here and now. Letting go control is HARD.

    • CleverManka says:

      My boss, who has received multiple teaching awards, says when she was a graduate student she used to hope she got hit by a bus on her way to class because she was so terrified of doing a bad job.

      You're probably fine, and the concern that you're not doing as good a job as you'd like is a good sign, IMO. Good on you for accepting the fact that you're not fantastic at something right out of the gate!

      • Fancy_Pants says:

        Hah, I am VERY familiar with the hope-I-get-hit-by-a-bus feeling. It always helps to know that it's not just me, and that it gets better!

      • damngoodcoffee says:

        Okay, I do some teaching for my job and even though I've been getting better at it that bus anecdote was so wonderful to read. Thanks for sharing it.

    • LaxMom says:

      I feel you! This was my 4th class, and the first time I managed to use up the WHOLE class period. We had a break in the middle for some NASA videos and playing around with Google Earth. Of course, because I put links to youtube up for this class, the giant projector screens took 3 of us to get working correctly at the beginning of class.
      I am SO relieved right now that I am DONE lecturing for the week! From here on out it will be easier because it will be lecture/lab, not all lectures all the time.
      Plus, hey, I worked the Larsen C ice shelf and lasers into today's class!! Plus pigeons!

      • Fancy_Pants says:

        Yay, nice work! That's a teaching milestone for sure. Sounds like an awesome lecture. I wish I could incorporate pigeons into my classes somehow.

        Glad to hear your load will be lighter soon. Teaching labs can be pretty fun too!

      • dancingcorvid says:

        good for yooouuuu!!!! you are working so hard and that sounds amazing and good work!!

        Labs are such a mixed blessing – they get to work! on stuff! but you had to do it all three times through first to see where they'd run off the rails!!! and THEN they go into some completely unexpected set of underbrush before they even start… students, man, they make teaching SO HARD!

    • damngoodcoffee says:

      I think you're definitely taking the right perspective on it. I've been in my job (instruction librarian- so I go into different classes and teach one-shots; I don't have to grade, but I can't really build up a relationship/rapport with the students) for about 1.5 years with no prior teaching experience, and the more I teach the better it gets, definitely. I still get that nervous feeling, but once I get going I can tell I'm more comfortable/better than I was previously. I've decided that I like challenging myself, so that line of thinking/motivation has been working for me, as long as I stay away from any too harsh self-criticism.

  9. Lynn says:

    Kitty update: Friday evening kitty suddenly started eating again (he actually licked some food for the first time while we were visiting, which was such a relief), and was doing well enough that we got to bring him home Saturday. He needs injections of both fluids and the GI meds that seemed to help restore his appetite twice a day and he's still terribly underweight (the vet actually switched him to food for diabetic cats because it's very high calorie and right now that's the priority). The injections are not the most pleasant experience for him or us, but he seems much more like his old self and has been eating and drinking fairly well. He goes to the vet for a follow up tomorrow, so we'll see how that goes.

    I'm personally having a hard time resetting out of crisis mode — Tuesday night I had an anxiety attack that he was regressing (for no real reason) to the extent that I got about 4 hours of sleep before getting up early and spending the remaining 90 minutes before my usual alarm dozing in the living room where I could see him. But my own mental health aside, kitty appears to be doing pretty well considering how terribly ill he was last week.

    Thanks to everyone here for your support last week — it was so helpful to be able to let everything out here while I was trying not to dump all my emotions on my boyfriend since I'm really the secondary pet caregiver.

  10. sherwood21 says:

    I just realized in like three weeks I'm going to start getting my period again. UGH UTERUSES.

    I don't want to be one of those people that talks about their tiny human all the time, but I will note quickly that I'm VERY lucky – he eats well, sleeps well, doesn't fuss much, doesn't care about environmental distractions, and is cool with everyone and everything he meets. He is a very socially acceptable little entity.

  11. damngoodcoffee says:

    You know how when you give up one vice, or when you're trying to drop a bad habit, you tend to switch it out for another? Well, I've been spending too much recently. Not like, bad, but in a way that makes me feel like I've gotten too used to it as a comfort mechanism. So I'm trying to work on that.

    (Things I've been trying to give up/cut back on that have led to this: sinking into horrible posture stances when sitting/standing; going through chewing gum/hard candies like it's my job; residual skin-picking habits [which used to be much worse], etc.)

    Also, as a stress thing I tend to clench/grind at night, but my orthodontist suggested I lay off the mouth guard a little to improve my bite. But since I also have a tendency to bite the inside of my cheeks when I sleep, the mouth guard stays, for now. I'm trying to get to a place where I don't clench/grind/bite anymore, and I have before, but I know it takes time/effort. So I'm working on that as well.

    Also I'm reading a lot of stucky fic b/c I need some kind of distraction from all this other stuff that won't involve me spending $$.

    ETA: I feel like I didn't mention the current political stuff here at all, but really that's where all the extra stress is coming from. That's the reason I feel the need for all the shopping and the chewing gum I can possibly handle. But the march was truly magical.

    • Fancy_Pants says:

      Honestly, I think the key to success in life is just choosing your vices strategically. A lot of my vices are avoidance behaviours (like wasting time on the internet in an unsatisfying manner because I'm stressed about work), so if I can just accept that I need a break I'll go watch netflix or read a book or take a walk. Usually after that I'm more ready to tackle the real problem, but if not, hey, at least I've enjoyed myself!

      Reading fic is a great vice to have 🙂

    • Räven says:

      I have also been clenching my jaw all night, something I haven't done since quitting a terrible job a long time ago. 100% the fault of the new congress and now the new executive. For me, though, it's actually going along with *not* spending money – my halcyon period of unemployment is now running a bit long and while i strategize how to make some money, i am trying to freeze funds. I'm tallying all the things I would normally buy, but didn't, in a running list. Many post-holiday sales, some good gwp offers, some indulgent groceries — I've kept rather a lot of cash in my pocket in case I need it in the Times To Come. Very informative.

      • Doc_Paradise says:

        Have you ever tried inter-oral massage? It helped me when I had TMJ issues.

      • damngoodcoffee says:

        I will definitely do that running list thing; I feel like that would help trick my brain into thinking of saving in a more positive, accomplishment-based way. So thank you! And I hope that you do not end up needing your Times To Come cash and that we both can stop stress clenching.

    • jenavira says:

      I've discovered that the core of my vice-transferrence seems to be the feeling of there not being enough – so I eat too much, sleep too much, work out too much, yell too much, in an attempt to feel like I have enough of something. But figuring that out has let me transfer it into less damaging things (like, if I want A Lot of a thing, I'll check out too many library books, which has no downside other than having to carry them home; if I want More Space or Time, I'll return all my library books and clean off my coffee tables, which has no downside other than winding up with boxes of random stuff). Maybe it would help to spend some time figuring out if you've got an abstract feeling you're chasing, and seeing if there's another way to fulfill it?

      (Internet randos: cheaper than therapy, but possibly not as effective. Discard advice as necessary.)

      • Fancy_Pants says:

        I am so fascinated to know how other people's brains work. Like I was saying upthread, my vices stem from avoidance, but you're completely different! Very cool.

        Def agree on finding and addressing the root cause (with a side of vice transferrence for harm reduction if the root cause can't be tackled today).

      • damngoodcoffee says:

        Ooh, this is really interesting. I'll have to give this some thought. My gut instinct is to say they're primarily distraction/avoidance-related, but I think it's more complicated than that. With the exception of sinking into a bad posture, they're all self-soothing activities, based on either a temporary physical outlet (skin-picking, gum-chewing) or material rewards. Hmm… the physical outlet ones I feel like are easier to deal with this way. There are lots of physical self-soothing activities I could do that help instead of irritate. For the shopping the best I can come up with right now is still shopping, essentially, but for smaller things/less frequently, so the material reward part is still there, but it's more manageable. IDK, though, I'm going to keep thinking on this. It's a great way to look at the problem, though, thank you!

  12. Kazoogrrl says:

    Friends are in the process of making a tiny human so I launched into knitting a sweater this weekend. Of course I used the wrong size needles at first, but now I'm on track. It's small, so a quick(er) knit, and it's not a lace pattern, which I can never remember, and gives me the satisfaction of doing something tangible. That is a great balm to my poor brain. This morning I almost popped a gasket as I had to read back facts about the money Obama pushed through to Palestine , as a coworker spread some alt-facts.

    Oh, I did my first transfer of money to pay down a credit card. It's scary to just drop big chunks of cash to do that, but I know it's worth it in the long run. Of course, I'll probably run that back up in dental bills.

    Friday I hope to have completed knife pics!

  13. ratskullbuttons says:

    Hello! Not exactly personal growth-related, buuuuuut are there any publishing peeps on here who'll be at the London Book Fair in March? Last year I met up with a Toastie for dinner at the fair and I'd love to do something like that again.

    (I've posted this on the Toast Slack publishing channel and the Toast Crumbs subreddit as well, but feel free to pass it on to other post-Toast spaces.)

  14. Kazoogrrl says:

    Oh, the two current shows I watch are back on, The Path and Outsiders. The latter is kind of trash, but a friend got me hooked. It's like Appalachian Burning Man.

    I may hate watch an episode of Sleepy Hollow to finally put it to rest.

  15. flitworth says:

    Is it personal growth that I've started sassing rightwing morons on twitter? j/k I know it isn't but I need an outlet for my political emotion vomit and hate-tweeting on fuckwits is my emetic.

    I would like to plug donating to Greenpeace because they are a direct action group that is fighting climate change and with this administration, direct action is where it is at.

  16. jenavira says:

    Well, after last week's knee strain went away, the cyst on my back that has been small and unnoticeable for years suddenly tripled in size and became very painful. I'm going to the doctor tomorrow and trying not to freak out too much; it's overwhelmingly likely that it's an infection and not, say, a tumor. Overwhelmingly likely.

    But the damn thing is right under my bra strap, and did I mention painful, so I've been out of temper at work all week and having to apologize a lot. (On the plus side, a lady started to get mad at me yesterday about our printer not working, and when she saw how close I was to crying because it was 4:30 and I was out of cope, she stopped getting mad and was instead very nice.)

    I think I'm stretched much thinner than I've been acting lately; it seems like every week is "everything is terrible," then "I'm doing much better," then right back into "everything is terrible." I'm trying, like everyone else, to find a balance between informed enough to act and too outraged to move. (I keep thinking that sooner or later someone is going to notice how fucked up everything is and actually DO SOMETHING, even though I know it doesn't work that way.) What I think it boils down to is that I'm going to have to seriously readjust my priorities in a way I don't really want to. But.

    • RoseCamelia says:

      jenavira, it's going to be OK. Tumors rarely cause pain, so maybe you can let go of that fear a little. The doc will relieve that fear tomorrow, in any case. Your doc will also relieve the pain. For now, these are your priorities. And they are good and proper priorities. Take care of yourself first. Anyone who thinks you should do anything else right now can fuck right off. And I'll tell them so myself, if you like. Just say, "Don't make me tell Rose; you won't like Rose when she's angry."
      ::Toasthugs::

    • CleverManka says:

      Everything in your last paragraph. EVERYTHING. Yes. Readjusting priorities is awfully close to Emotional Growth and I think we all know how I feel about that.

    • redheadfae says:

      YES! It's not a toomah!
      https://youtu.be/OaTO8_KNcuo

  17. dancingcorvid says:

    (I missed Wednesday and it made me sad, so I am posting late)

    I'm feeling sorry for myself because I am still sick, again – same kind of relatively fast phlegm fest as the last time, but still, sick sucks. I continue to pull crap out of the studio and put it somewhere else. The house resembles a particularly spirited game of tiny object Tetris as I get one set of things moved so I can get another set of things somewhere else. The whole sick thing means my thinking is muddied and my temper short too, so I am not being graceful or kind about anything.

    Once I can breathe, everything will be better.

    • LaxMom says:

      I missed wednesday too. I am sorry you are sick again. I totally understand house-tetris. I have no patience either. I had a rotten Tuesday but things got busy and by this point I may as well wait until tomorrow. I really want a nap but I have course development to do and a high school "parents of 8th graders don't be scared this is how high school works" meeting. This is my 3 kid. Not only do I know how high school works, I could help you fill out a fafsa blindfolded, and due to recent events, I even know how getting kicked OUT of high school works. Sigh. I will go, get my stack of papers, and leave as quickly as possible, while trying to smile since I have to recruit 8th grade parents to give me their children for lacrosse, and trying not to meet any parent who might ask me about teenboy.fun fun fun.

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