Friday Open Thread

Clever Manka, · Categories: Open Thread

Oh thank gods.

89 Responses to “Friday Open Thread”

  1. CleverManka says:

    I feel like I've been saying this every week? but WHAT A WEEK. Oof. Yesterday was so terrible. My fatigue levels were sufficient enough that normally I would have called in sick to work, but I'm desperately trying to save as much PTO as possible before I go on leave. I did get to note the fact that my fatigue and mood are definitely tied. Which is no big surprise, but it's good to have data. I was back in the mental/emotional place I was just post-election which really really sucked.

    Today my mood/energy is better (I slept all night! it was fantastic!) but my back is hurting so bad I can't sit still (it's the muscle spasm that was caused by my torn discweightlifting injury in 2014). I have to gently rock back and forth to alleviate the pressure and keep the pain at a level where I can concentrate on stuff. I'm not exactly sure what brought on the flare-up but wow it's bad.

    Has anyone here ever used a vibrator/massage tool for non-sexual purposes? I'm looking at this one by Pado, but wow $$$. However, I would pay someone $125 right fucking now if it would allow me to just sit fucking still. I found this absolutely charming review, but if anyone here has personal experience with this or other brands, I'd love to hear about it.

  2. Flitworth says:

    A little Foreign Policy humour

    Tiny human informed me, with smile on her face, that the crying and saying "mommy" on drop off was an act. So….yea. I think it just means she wants/needs the extra cuddles and attention she gets from daycare providers if she does it, I did inform them of this. If it's what she needs, fine, I think we'd all like to feel a bit less manipulated.

    • CleverManka says:

      If it's what she needs, fine, I think we'd all like to feel a bit less manipulated.
      I love everyone involved in this situation.

      Also, if I didn't hate 45's face so much, I'd replace my current (John Boyega) wallpaper with this image. OMG Merkel's wonderful face in that. <3

  3. Absotively says:

    I made an appointment yesterday to see a new doctor tomorrow. Thank you for indulging my whining about the old one, apparently talking about her here was the nudge I needed.

    On Sunday, I am playing in a Netrunner tournament. There's a couple recently released cards that have revived a deck type I liked, so I'm looking forward to playing Netrunner all day more than I have at the last few tournaments.

    • CleverManka says:

      Yay! Good luck at the tournament! Very cool that your beloved deck type got a boost with the recent card releases.

      • Absotively says:

        It's not so much a boost as a reinvention. The old version was nerfed into the ground for good reason. The new deck shares relatively few cards with the old one, but does use the same combination of basic strategies, and that is good enough for me.

        It's been working pretty well for me, so I'm starting to worry that it may also be too good to last. I have it for now, though!

  4. Lynn says:

    Oof, y'all I had a full on meltdown yesterday. (I've been noticing this happens a lot on Thursdays — I have not been doing well at getting to bed at a reasonable hour during the week and I think Thursdays must be when I hit my exhaustion wall.) After a couple weeks of maintaining, kitty's health has really deteriorated again and we've had to start talking seriously about handling the end of his life which has had me in tears basically every night this week. And I'm just so sick of having no stuff, and no furniture, and being on week three of a stupid cold I can't shake because I have no time to just rest — and I'm resenting my boyfriend, who is in the stage of the cold I was at while I was out of state working, being at home moaning about how awful he feels while I had no choice but to suck it up and deal.

    As I explained to him last night, I am not mad *at* him, but I'm mad at how in this lousy situation where we both got our lives fucked up, I wound up with an even lousier deal both in terms of extra upheaval (did I mention my office is moving next week?) and all the extra work I wound up with because he's been out of town or too ill to help at crucial moments.

    I think maybe I've progressed to the anger stage of my grief for the life I had six months ago.

    • Kazoogrrl says:

      I'm sorry about the sick, the kitty, and the anger. I'm also super impressed you're able to recognize and talk about your feelings and the situation.

      Also, and YMMV incredibly, but as devastatingly sad as I am about our kitty, it took a huge weight off of us. I didn't realize how draining was the stress and worry about his health, though I also feel a bit guilty. Stupid complicated emotions. Stupid cancer.

      • Lynn says:

        Yeah, that's kind of where I am. It hurts so much to think about not having him in our lives, but the last month or so even on his good days we've been checking in obsessively with each other about his behavior and his food intake. And his quality of life has just deteriorated so much in the last couple of days — he's always been such an active, curious cat (even immediately post his initial health crisis, he wanted to do regular patrols of the apartment) and now even just walking down the hallway takes so much energy out of him.

        Articulating my feelings to myself has always been something I'm good at — I'm just not always very good at sharing them with the people who need to know about them.

    • damngoodcoffee says:

      HUGS. I hope at least some things start looking up soon, and that you feel better an are able to shake that cold. Also, the Thursday exhaustion wall is definitely a thing, I just never realized it before seeing it in your post, so thank you.

  5. Räven says:

    Last night brought early reports that the NYC mayor will support a plan to close Rikers Island, a cause very dear to my heart. (He has previously supported renovation and reform, which… isn't what Rikers needs.) A little more hope in the world, I went to sleep happier than usual.

    I adopted that FIV+ cat. I have difficult feelings about it. I don't love the name he arrived with – and he doesn't respond to it anyway – but I've been dragging my feet on naming him, which seems like a symptom I need to get over. Luckily he is very different from my late cat: not as handsome and not as smart, but he seems like a very sweet animal. And he showed incredible determination to survive after being dumped; he deserved a home.

    Because it's Easter season I am having unbelievable cravings for jelly beans, ideally pectin jelly beans, why are they so hard to come by? I do not want to have to pay shipping for jelly beans. If I have to pay shipping I will order too many and I will eat them all very fast.

    • CleverManka says:

      Bless you for adopting the kitty. I think it's okay for him to remain un-named for a little. Maybe a trait will manifest that will make his naming obvious, given a little time.

      Hurray for a little more hope and a good night's sleep!

      • Kazoogrrl says:

        Take your time with naming! Otherwise you may end up with something like Momcat. She does have a longer name, but that's the one she answers to.

        Unless you want to use You for the cat, that's a favorite of mine.

      • Räven says:

        Thank you. I worry that the naming thing is a refusal to bond. Like, I'll never be able to handle losing a loved cat again, so I'm just like, 'okay random cat, you can stay in this apartment. Fine.' So, one of these days I need to give him a name.

    • RoseCamelia says:

      I've been saving this for the next time I can't get away with a female name, but you can have it, if it suits your cat:


      For Senator Elizabeth Warren, one of my heroes.

    • Alluvial_Fan says:

      Also according to the musical (Cats, har har) by way of Eliot, cats have 3 different names. So it might take a while.

      The name that no human research can discover—
      But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
      When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
      The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
      His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
      Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
      His ineffable effable
      Deep and inscrutable singular Name.

    • Räven says:

      Thanks to all of you who chimed in when I first mentioned this cat a few weeks ago. I am definitely not ready for another cat or fully convinced this was the right decision, but everyone's generous thoughts on the matter were extremely helpful.

    • Lee Thomson says:

      Friends determined that a creature that arrived with no name had to be Clint, for reasons supported by too much spagetti western viewing.

      • Räven says:

        Lol. Well he arrived with one, I just think it's silly. (It's kind of exotic, and he is not an exotic animal.) I was thinking to call him Cleve, for Cleve Jones (hiv+ since 1978!) but he doesn't answer to it; but perhaps he's never going to be interested in a name. He still needs one…

  6. vladazhael says:

    Last week's brake issue with the Nova was resolved with a satisfactory learning to effort ratio on my part, but just this morning as I was finally starting to let myself rejoice that the valve that got tripped had un-tripped itself with minimal intervention, the engine stalled at the last stoplight on the way to work and doggedly refused to restart. Long story short, I think the ignition blew and now the Nova is on the way to the same shop that already has my truck. I should probably be more upset that both my vehicles need attention at the same time, especially as roommate is about to go out of town for the weekend, but honestly I'm just charmed that the mechanic was so excited to get to look at the Nova and pretty geeked that I felt not the least panic (adulting/SSRI win) and also my winged eyeliner has not yet reached catastrophic failure.

  7. Kazoogrrl says:

    Question for you all: is anyone watching Legion? It is SO GOOD, and non-linear, and visually creative, and full of unreliable narrator. My fav part is the fight scene in Ep 4, especially the Kerry/Cary part (gorgeous choreography and blocking). I am waiting to catch the last episode Sunday, it's totally helping to fill the Hannibal void in my life.

    • Kazoogrrl says:

      Other than that, the long term neighborhood project happens tomorrow, halle-fucking-lujah. And the only thing getting me through today is post-practice drinks tonight with friends. I've already snapped at my boss and his wife, in separate incidents, but I can't help that he's an inattentive, gas-lighting asshat and she's crippled by indecision because he's run her life for 40 years. I think I'm courting getting fired.

    • vladazhael says:

      I've only seen the first couple episodes because I have to mooch a friend's Hulu account, but YES. *flail*

      • Kazoogrrl says:

        Ep 1: Great slow set up!
        Ep 2: Kinda slow with more set up, still excellent.
        Ep 3: Now we're getting somewhere! Oh fuck.
        Ep 4: Oh boy, here we go!
        Ep 5: Shit is starting to go sideways, something is wrong here.
        Ep 6: I can't believe I'm seeing this on TV, what is going on?
        Ep 7: I still can't believe this, and oh fuck again!
        Ep 8: Am I going to be emotionally read for this?

  8. jenavira says:

    I swear I had things I was going to post in the open thread this week, but I've got my period and those kind of cramps that leave you focused on the space between your belly and your spine and absolutely nothing else in the entire world, and I still have to be on desk tonight. I pre-ordered thai food to pick up after work. And one of my coworkers brought in homemade white chocolate and almond cookies. And that is going to have to get me through the day.

  9. Flitworth says:

    Anyone have an airbnb acct? I can't find a way to communicate with them w/o opening an acct and someone has put my email in place of "Glenn"'s and I would like Susan to know about this. They have not responded to my tweets. Maybe I need some hashtags? Too old for this shit.

    Apparently I am a glutton for punishment: watching the White House Press Elf.

  10. vladazhael says:

    Oof. Can I get some good Too Witches vibes for my non-local bestie? She's now seriously plotting divorce from a Very Difficult Man(baby) and has a lot to juggle in terms of protecting herself and her kids from his various fuckeries, all of it with the looming spectre of poverty to complicate things. I was just remarking to her about how I've really been appreciating the nature of female support systems lately and how important our de facto covens have been throughout the long history of being mistreated by men, and I thought of this space and how wonderful you've all been through my relationship turmoil and aftermath and how our collective understanding of what it means to be Too Witches is a wonderful thing. Much love, sisters and brothers and non-binary siblings.

  11. Doc_Paradise says:

    This week has been amazingly awful for both my partners. Scary stressful awful. I'm handling it okay (thanks therapy).

    I finished reading "Weapons of Math Destruction" and I'd recommend it to everyone. I'm most of the way through "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes" (Ask a Mortician) and "Families and Forgiveness". Both are good. I should start writing book reviews on my DW account again now that I'm back to being able to read a lot.

    • vladazhael says:

      I loooooved "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes". Have you read "Stiff" by Mary Roach? You might enjoy that as well.

      I'm sorry your partners are having it rough, but glad therapy is helping. Mental health win!

      • Doc_Paradise says:

        I read "Stiff" a few years back and it was a fun read. "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes" has put me in a positive place with regards to death planning. I'm finally getting around to doing some paperwork (will, power of attorney) that I should have done years ago.

        I'm also thinking seriously about what I'd want done with my body after I die (organ donor – yes, but what else) and what type of memorial I'd want. I've joked about wanting a puzzle memorial that would get me into a list of "weird things to see in Ontario guide book. I've *joked* about that, but (after thinking about it more) I think I'm actually serious about that.

        • vladazhael says:

          Uuuugh, I need to write a will. I've been dragging my feet on it because I know my parents are aware of my death-related wishes and wouldn't do anything to subvert them, but I should still lay out the specifics and formalize them like an adult. I want everything that can be donated to go to some use – organs first, then whatever scientific options are open beyond that – and I've warned everyone who will listen that if they embalm and bury me I will haunt them.

          Weird discovery: "traditional" burial is WAY more common as a default in the South than I would have expected. I like that death practices are becoming more open and varied in general, but with that, as with most things, they're pretty far behind around here.

    • CleverManka says:

      I'd be very happy to read your book reviews again!

  12. damngoodcoffee says:

    Just checking in now b/c today's been yet another busy day. Thanks to everyone who commented on Wednesday after my doctor's appointment. I'm glad I got it over with, and actually all that happened spurred me on to tell a couple of other close coworkers that I'm ace, who had total perfect non-reactions to the news (I'm sure they pretty much already knew, but I feel much better now that it's more out in the open).

    Of course, now I'm all worried about things at work, because our passive aggressive, emotionally manipulative team lead might actually be promoted to be our manager (a job she applied for last year and didn't get for numerous reasons, but now we have a new director who apparently wants to give everyone a 'fresh start' so I guess that means the rest of us get screwed over? I mean, she hasn't even talked to this with us, but apparently she asked for our team lead's CV, and I'm just trying not to spiral with thoughts of awfulness right now).

    On the plus side, I have no plans to do anything this weekend, so hopefully I can get into a good head space for Monday.

    • Absotively says:

      So what you get a fresh start as is being worried about your team lead being promoted? Oh, that's great.

      • damngoodcoffee says:

        Right? Like, there are 5 people on our department 'team,' including the lead, and 3 of us actively dislike this team lead and would want to go to HR if she got any supervisory control over us, especially in this kind of backdoor way, after she didn't get it the first time. And the tension between us and her is so obvious, which is why I don't get why our new director wouldn't pick up on that/just ask us about it. Or at least consult us AT ALL before making such a staffing change. Like WTH.

        • Absotively says:

          Can you go to new director and be like, "I have some concerns about the dynamic on our team, and hearing about how you want a fresh start gives me hope that you will want to help address this and make it better, here's what the problems are?"

    • CleverManka says:

      Oh jesus bb, what a nightmare. I really hope you and your group somehow avoid this nightmare.

      • damngoodcoffee says:

        Ugh, me too, thank you! I'm really hoping the CV thing is for something else, or that we at least get consulted about this before any major changes happen. We've all been talking about the possibility of going to HR if it does happen, but all of us really need to keep our jobs, so it's just an icky situation all around.

  13. LaxMom says:

    So tired, went to bed at 3 and got up at 7 and the cat woke me up every half hour in between, and I have tons of homework and feel a bit like I ought to feed the teen beasts but i feel the fatigue crashing down.
    Teenboy asked to get his ears pierced last night. I had to go with him to sign forms. I asked him the two important questions "where are the holes going to be?" and "are you getting gages?" (because I'd really dislike that). He was planning on plain old ordinary ear piercings so, teenboy is happy with little silver studs, and teen girl ran away so she didn't have to watch and swears she will never get hers pierced.
    Had a good meeting with my advisor today but OOF feel so behind on doctoral stuff. Hopefully i'll have time to get my feel back under me since I have to write, defend my proposal and take comps by December. yikes.

    I am NOT ready for next week, presentation wise. I have not written the exam for monday (but got good feedback from my advisor on how to edit the old one). I have done NONE of my actual course homework. I am close to getting my 3d rendering presentable.
    We are tossing around the idea of an advanced remote sensing course that is more geology focused (a geology professor wants to teach it), and I really want to know how to do 3d geological modeling. I don't think anybody in the department does it, and I don't think the geology dept. provides the software (but I"m not sure, because I live upstairs in geography land). Even better would be learning how to do 3d rendering and agent based modeling in netlogo so i could model flood inundations/dam breaks. Yeah, in my spare time.
    Happy weekend. I feel like I am going to bail on the "mom making dinner" intentions and crash in bed before I faint.
    This is doable. Just barely humanly possible, but possible. I just hope I can recover somewhat, because I can't continue at this pace for another 3 years!

  14. Onymous says:

    Happy New Year everybody.

  15. Lee Thomson says:

    oh hai! Post-vacation re-entry, which consists entirely of laundry, phone calls and grocery shopping. I continued to have a GREAT TIME with my cute belly and swimming twice a day and too much lovely food that I didn't ahve to cook or clean up after, just choose, but I had an unexpected, and retroactively hilarious, meltdown at the nude beach Thursday which I think I'll put in a comment because it is ALL body stuff…

    • Lee Thomson says:

      Thurs we went to Orient Bay which is completely gorgeous and a very looong beach with all the types of bodies swimming and sunning and walking and sleeping. Waaay down at the far end, past the breakwater, is the Naturaliste section, where-in you are required to remove the rest of your clothes. I was mostly ok with that – and very much looking forward to swimming without clothes because I remembered that being a enormous pleasure before. Except – I had more boob than the last time, and lemme tell y'all my boobs are independently bouyant and there were waves…. they kept bobbing up under my chin and smacking me about and it was SO uncomfortable. I didn't want to not swim, i didn't want to cry about something that stupid, I didn't want to come out of the beautiful ocean simply because I was being abused by my breasts – ultimately I just clamped an arm over them, and bobbed like a seal in the deeper water until it was time to go home.

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