Friday Open Thread

Clever Manka, · Categories: Open Thread

Keeping with the Pikachu theme for another week

It hasn’t been a terribly restful week thanks to the city putting in a ridiculous and dangerous roundabout at the end of my block to replace the stop signs despite protests by the parents of a blind child in the neighborhood. What fuckery are you looking forward to sleeping through this weekend?

163 Responses to “Friday Open Thread”

  1. CleverManka says:

    I hope that those of you in the U.S. who get a long weekend have a great time!

    The Burgomaster and I are probably gonna buy a new refrigerator if we can find a good Memorial Day Weekend sale. The door handle on the fridge part broke off like two years ago and it's been making weird noises for a couple months. I have a wedding on Sunday but I'm not gonna stick around for the reception (the fun part) because of Resting. I'd like to do some art cards but should probably use my energy for next week's food prep.

    Adulting–good times good times.

    • CleverManka says:

      Also, last night I had my henna-mates over for root touch-ups (my hair looks SO GOOD today) and I made this crockpot buffalo chicken chili for dinner. It was delicious.

      • Räven says:

        I need to get the hang of root touchups! I usually just re-henna, but because the color builds, I end up with a kind of ombré because the ends have been colored more times.

        • CleverManka says:

          It takes a little bit of practice making the parts and I often get long strands caught in the mud-filled rows but once I got the hang of it, it went pretty fast. Catherine on recommends starting from the nape of the neck and working up but I find it easier to:
          1. part the hair in the middle and work from hairline to crown, parting only wide enough so you can still see the henna from the previous part line to ensure coverage.
          2. once you reach the ears, flip over and start at the middle part on the other side.
          3. after the top and sides are done, work with horizontal parts across the back of the head until you get to the nape

          Good luck!

      • damngoodcoffee says:

        Ooh, nice! I've tried henna before but could never get it to actually really show up in my hair. Also making grooming/primping a fun group activity is awesome. 🙂

        • CleverManka says:

          With henna, it's a bit of of necessity. At least for me! I'm sure there are some people who can manage to do it themselves, but I'm not one of them. Maybe if my hair was still super short, but definitely not now. I can do partial touch-ups (which I often do at three weeks) but the back? Forget it!

          The quality of the henna and your original hair color makes a big difference. If you have dark hair and not a lot of gray, henna's just gonna make it shinier and maybe give you some red highlights in strong sunlight. And it's been my experience that most pre-boxed hennas available in stores doesn't have a high lawsone content or are old enough that they've lost efficacy. After trying several brands and suppliers over the years, I now only use the stuff from

          • damngoodcoffee says:

            Thank you! This is really good to know. I currently have the hair that henna will only make shinier, but I do have a couple of grays and I remember liking what henna did to them- like they still stood out, but were tinted in a really cool way.

    • meat_lord says:

      Good luck with your fridgequest!

      • CleverManka says:

        Thank you. We've needed a new one for ages but neither of us wants to put in the effort to actually go shopping for it when technically the terrible old one is still functional

        • redheadfae says:

          I got a notice that some Energy Star fridges are on a great sale at NFM.. and we also saw quite a few in the "clearance" section at great reduced prices.

          • CleverManka says:

            Well, as has happened for the past two years, the Burgomaster was busy with other things and I couldn't muster the energy to get him out to the stores (no way he'll go by himself even though I told him that would be great) so it's probably gonna be Labor Day at least before we get a fridge.

          • redheadfae says:

            Eh, I understand that Sept is the best time to buy major appliances anyway.. like automobiles, it's when the new models come out and the previous inventory goes on good sale.

    • Heathered says:

      Are you sleeping in a bowl of spinach? That looks so satisfying.

  2. Doc_Paradise says:

    I'm doing planning with my household for my upcoming medical procedure and I'm trying to catch up on all the important things I slept through this week because… just couldn't.

    I am now procrastinating on all that by writing about empathy in response to a friend's post.

  3. vladazhael says:

    I am raging at this:

    And also wondering how I missed this song for years:

    Grace Slick's voice… I have actual chills.

    This weekend will *hopefully* be full of X-wing pilot flight suit progress, with perhaps some more apartment unpacking/organizing/purging. It's my only unbooked weekend visible in either direction, though, so I'm not pushing myself.

    The Love Witch was everything I hoped and dreamed. Total aesthetic throwback, but on purpose and milking it for all it's worth and it's very much part of the message. It's like The Stepford Wives and The Craft had an angry, self-aware baby.

    • CleverManka says:

      I probably should not have read that NYT article. *rages with you*

      I've had a crush on Grace Slick's voice since I was a kid. So. Perfect.

      It's like The Stepford Wives and The Craft had an angry, self-aware baby.
      That is the best sales pitch for a movie I've ever heard. I need to find some like-minded friends for a watch party. The dude who introduced me to giallo films would probably love it.

    • pseudonymica says:

      THE LOVE WITCH LOOKS AMAZING. PseudoMr is also going to flip when he find out about it. How did we not know?!

    • Heathered says:

      Listening right now, this is great.

    • redheadfae says:

      omg, that article is something I did and did not need to know.
      JFC on a crutch, this happens far too often and not within religious cults.
      NINE children, that poor young woman.
      Having had both grandmas married off at 16 due to pregnancies, I am further horrified.

  4. Kazoogrrl says:

    Well, Rachel Dolezal is scheduled to be at the Baltimore Book Festival this fall and people are (rightfully) flippin' their lids. I posted about it on my FB and have ended up in a "I'll take a little time to school this liberal white dude I know, who I am now really disappointed in after he 'played devil's advocate' on my thread and then vaguebooked to his own FB until my partner called him out on it". *takes a breath to set the world on fire* On the other hand, Kyle Cassidy will be there with his new librarians book, J became friends with him when touring so we're looking forward to getting a chance to say hi.

    Meeting up with friends for Herb Fest (like, parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme) tomorrow. Using Sunday to Get Things Done so Monday can be a free day, maybe I'll play with the shirt pattern I picked up at the new, wee fabric/sewing shop that opened up. Last night I met up with a friend after seeing my mom (slowly progressing) and split a bottle of wine on a school night, so I kind of started early!

    • Kazoogrrl says:

      Oh, I may relive my teenage-hood and lie on the couch re-reading "Lost Souls" for part of the weekend.

      • damngoodcoffee says:

        I've never read that but that author's name looks really familiar, and now I have something else on my never-ending to-read list. Also I feel like 'take a breath to set the world on fire' should be part of guided meditation or something, because it's a great phrase, so thank you for sharing that (though sorry you have to deal with FB-related ridiculousness). 🙂

        • Kazoogrrl says:

          Brite is the nom de plume of Billy Martin, who wrote a lot of gothic horror in the 1990s/early 00s, mostly based around New Orleans. "Lost Souls" is the ultimate goth teen vampire book and the beginning is set in the suburb where I was a teenager, so when I discovered it at the age of 17 I was in teen angst heaven. If you need a summer read while lounging around, sipping a cold alcoholic beverage, too hot and lazy to move? This is it.

          • redheadfae says:

            My previously mentioned comfort reading is his previous edited series of vampire horror romance, if that could be a comfortable category. Lost Souls was amazing. Those sparkly little shits have no clue.

    • CleverManka says:

      So glad to hear your mom is progressing. And fuck yeah wine on a school night!

    • Räven says:

      HERB FEST. like…, a swap?

      • Kazoogrrl says:

        It's a plant sale, I go for the native plant vendors and we always have a picnic (it's in a park).

        • Räven says:

          That sounds so lovely. I only have apartment windowsills, but I always go early to Wednesday greenmarket for the Really Good (heirloom/unusual) plant stand, who are only in for eight weeks this year. And I buy something whether I need (or honestly have sill space for) it or not.

  5. Doc_Paradise says:

    I got your postcard! Thank you!

  6. Kazoogrrl says:

    Oh! If anyone is looking for swimsuits, a friend found this interesting site and I may try some out. Lots of different bottom options, including more coverage, though the tops are more for traditional female bodies (?, I think I'm using the incorrect term her).

  7. [sic] says:

    I plan on sleeping through all sorts of fuckery in my neighborhood park tomorrow!

    Yesterday, the lovely weather was a bit spoiled by the noisy gaggle of tourists nearby who sounded like a flock of geese beating each other to death with bagpipes.

  8. meat_lord says:


    Sister gets in tonight at midnight–I am letting her crash with me tonight to save on hotel costs, so this means that I have to finish wrangling my apartment to neatness by then. There's also a drag event at Favorite Gay Bar tonight that the datefriend is participating in, which means I should probably find the time to go see them.

    At the moment, though, Datefriend is having a Bad Time and texting me about it. I've improved so much at dealing with this, y'all. Buuuuut I'm still stressed. Good vibes would be welcome.

    Man, I'm so glad I have a three-day weekend.

  9. Räven says:

    Well this has mostly been a week of discontent. Currently, failing miserably in my attempt to get anyone to go to a Nick Cave concert with me. I feel like I have too many friends to keep up with everyone properly, but apparently not enough to rustle up a social companion. (It's at a seated venue, so I'm reluctant to go alone.) I'm trying to spend less time obsessively checking my politics-centric twitter feed to see if there's "news", and the days when I manage it I find I'm very snappish about other things. (I was curt with my Habitica co-guild-leader! I am eating too many chips!) And, I seem to have killed my tarragon plant even though everything else on that windowsill is fine. Why/how?!

    This weekend, however, the city will empty out as everyone goes to open their summer places, so I am looking forward to a bit of quiet? I hope I'm not kidding myself about that. I am enjoying a bluefish spread-thing on toast, and coffee, and waiting for them all to drive away.

    • CleverManka says:

      Boo for a week of discontent. I wish I had a Star Trek transporter that I could send you the Burgomaster to go see Nick Cave.

      • Räven says:


        • Doc_Paradise says:

          *kicks teleportation machine*
          Damn it machine… work!

          Nope. *sigh* I'd have to get a passport and a plane ticket. No go. 🙁

          Have fun.

        • redheadfae says:

          Dammit, my spouse's daughter who lives there was going, I know, and probably would have appreciated friendly companions. She's about 40ish but you'd never know it and I love her dearly.

          • Räven says:

            Well, I am probably older than her and also hope you'd never know it. 😉 It was just about the hippest concert crowd I've ever seen, but also just about the oldest: I'd say the majority of audience were in their 50s with plenty who were older. I was a little surprised as their music is so much more accessible now than in the early days, but a lot of their fandom must have formed in the 80s.

          • redheadfae says:

            Well, I'm glad to hear that you went and had a good time.

    • vladazhael says:

      I would go! I've seen him live before; it's completely worth it even if you have to go by yourself.

    • Kazoogrrl says:

      Saying no to Nick Cave, what?!?!?!

      • Räven says:

        IKR? I mean, I love my friends, but… I feel like I need new friends.

        • Kazoogrrl says:

          I saw him once, maybe touring for Boatman's Call, or right before that? I remember loving it, and how he was so engaging as a performer, and being amazed at the sounds that came out of Blixa Bargeld's mouth.

          • Räven says:

            Ah, so cool. He isn't on this tour of course, but they did some songs from that era. About half the show was the Skeleton Tree album and half from the archives. The only musician who got introduced was the violinist who's become more of the lead instrumentalist in this century.

    • damngoodcoffee says:

      I hope the discontent turns around soon, and you get to enjoy some peace & quiet and enjoy your time generally whether or not you go to the concert. Toast & coffee are two things that definitely help people feel better on the whole, I think. 🙂

      I have actually checked out of twitter for a while and every time I think about heading back I imagine I will either do the obsessive checking thing or the 'overwhelmed by all the information' thing.

    • Lee Thomson says:

      I wish I lived closer because the last two things you wanted to do I would do with you in a heartbeat . Wood block printing and a Nick Cave concert? yes PLEASE.

      Also I hear you on politics. We're hosting family dinner tomorrow, and one attendee is more strident? vocal? about politics, and it isn't that I disagree, I just want to think about absolutely everything else first.

      • Räven says:

        I realize this is a minor refrain of mine here, mournful tales of absent or unreliable friends, and I should say that most of the time I have plans with people when I want them, and everyone shows up, and all is well. Also, I happily do things by myself *all the time*. I do get fretful when something would be better with friends and the friends do not come through, but it isn't my basal state.

        That said, yes, if you lived here you'd really be having a swell month, between the printing and the Bad Seeds.

  10. LaxMom says:

    Waiting for xray results for teen girl. Oh, did I get the angry tears and the rolling eyes for pulling her out of the audience at a school assembly 'For NOTHING, mom. THEY ARE FINE. Perfect bones, this was completely unnecessary". I'll feel better when the dr. says that. Guess where and when she got hurt?

    Also, had to postpone my haircut and color AGAIN. I havent' had the roots done since January. I am about 5 days away from peak bangs and cutting them myself. Hairdresser lost a crown and has to go see the dentist. ugh.
    I don't know what to do with my empty day. It won't stop raining here and we have a huge extended family thing at the ballpark tonight. I will need all of my energy for the cousins and grandpa's and cold wet baseball field.
    Yesterday was a huge fight with teenboy because he slept until 4 pm for the second day in a row.

    • CleverManka says:

      I can't even begin to try to guess how she got an x-ray-worthy injury in a school assembly…

      • LaxMom says:

        Ha ha, no, she injured it at her dad's house landing wrong on a trampoline. Last weekend. She only told me it still hurt last night. She's mad that I took her out of a 8th grade performance to go get xrayed.

        Although, 8th grade Teenboy did break his finger in gym class while running, on somebody else's sock. So never underestimate a kid's ability to get hurt, lol!

    • redheadfae says:

      Gawds, I hate being lackadaisical by no choice of my own on root repair. My sympathies with that. I have been known to use the powder root touch up thingy from Sally's. It works, but does leave a mess on the old pillowcase.

  11. Onymous says:

    I am currently engaged in constructing a… well I guess it might technically be a lemon poppy seed babka with applecider vinegar blueberry cardamom filling and a ginger glaze.

    It might PRACTICALLY be a disaster we'll see how it goes.

    Also I'm 31 now. I've got some gift certificates from donating blood last week so I'll be going to a brewery I haven't tried yet.

    also: So Final's week was not great for me. I had three final assignments and in a fit of self destructive procastination did none of them. So I ended up with a c+ instead of a b+ in one class, one class it didn't actually do much because I still got an a-; One class I only had the two assignments, that being one of them. Mercifully the prof put my grade down as "none recorded" which turns into a withdrawal so it ended up not counting against my GPA… and as it turns out I got refunded for the credit hours or something because yesterday a check from the bursars office showed up for 400 bucks. So… That ended remarkably well actually.

  12. Onymous says:

    Also Chairlift's Amaneamonesia has been my jam for like three weeks now. The video is a remarkably specific throwback bit of late 70's videos.

  13. Lynn says:

    I am enjoying the first day of my extended long weekend (I am off until next Wednesday). Turns out at least some of my ongoing stomach cramps were my period turning up a week early. So that's not ideal but I got the luxury of lying in bed with a heating pad for a bit this morning.

    Now I'm going to the bagel shop for lunch and am trying to decide if I want to try a new cream cheese flavor today. Then I may spend the afternoon trying to remember what I was up to in Stardew Valley.

  14. Heathered says:

    Fuckery sleepery here usually involves the venue next door hosting a quinceanera, though the last 8-hour blowout turned out to be a christening party; I can only assume that poor baby is hard of hearing now. I'm getting to be a little salty about mariachi music, which makes me sad. Feeling off today, but thanks so much to everyone who gave me ideas for summer project fun. It led me to get much more focused on my limitations, budget, and location, and an unexpected but pretty cool idea is taking shape. Nothing definite until the 31st, but I'm excited.

    • CleverManka says:

      "getting to be a little salty about mariachi music" is such a great phrase idk why but I love it. I can sympathize, though. What sort of venue do you live next to?

      • Heathered says:

        It's called the Saturday Afternoon Clubhouse, just a big old (like, historical plaque old, though I'm not sure of the year) house that people can rent out for events. I've been to a handful of things there but they were all quiet, or noisy for 15 minutes at noon and then quiet. These parties are supposed to stop at 11 pm, but people leaving and packing equipment and kids running around in the street screaming can take until 1 am and I am a sleep monster, so blurgh.

    • Lee Thomson says:

      I look forward to hearing what you wind up doing with your summer, (*I am going to build a boat!!!!!!!!!1!!*) because summer used to be such a trigger for me for misery and now it isn't. Hooray!.

      • Heathered says:

        Building a boat for reals? Like, not making an origami hat and floating it in a duck pond?!! WOW.
        ETA: I saw below that it is real and my caps were appropriate. TAKE TO THE SEA FOR ALL OF US!

      • redheadfae says:

        A friend of mine just rebuilt her deck all by herself, but this is a whole other level,.. holy smokes

  15. Flitworth says:

    My dad is visiting for the first one since my mom died and I was not aware that it was going to be a brick of feelings to the face. I started tearing up in the grocery store Wed. evening and a woman in a rascal actually did a 3 point turn in a busy store to avoid being alone with an emotional white lady…for which I cannot fault her. The three point turn to avoid feels cleanup in aisle 10 was pretty funny.

    I ended up taking a mental health day yesterday and then read an article about high functioning deppressives which is all me. But all Manka's Thursday links and your comments made my day.

    We have the GQ mag with The Rock on the cover and tiny human stopped and sniffed him every day because of the cologne samples. She has since opened every sample fold and the living room smells like an Axe ™ murderer is hiding under the couch.

    I am struggling and I don't know when that stops.

    • LaxMom says:

      The last time I was in the aisle with a woman in a rascal, i needed something off the bottom shelf and she just ran into me and knocked me over and kept scootering away, so I think the 3point turn was a good outcome!

      I didn't expect to have 8 year old feelings hit me this hard this weekend when my cousin visited, either. I am glad you went easy on yourself yesterday, and I hope your time with your dad can build in some quiet time to regroup and process along with the visiting.

      • RoseCamelia says:

        Ahoy from another high functioning depressive. The struggle does stop eventually. For me, it pauses. It always returns, but mostly after long intervals. And the pauses allow for emotional strengthening so the returns are less and less difficult, generally.

        I'm so sorry for those difficult feels. Your dad is likely sore from his own unexpected brick. Seeing you and Tiny Human may remind him of child-rearing with your mom decades ago. I hope you and he have a relationship that allows for leaning on each other. If not, I hope you and he move a little closer to such with this time together.

        Sending you a virtual Dwayne Johnson-sized hug.

    • vladazhael says:

      The 3-point rascal nope is a hilarious mental picture and needs to be written into a TV show immediately.

      Also, I think the fact that you can see the humor in that (and also make an Axe murderer pun) while dealing with heavier emotions means that you're having a perfectly understandable mixed reaction to a mixed life. Some stuff is terrible. Some stuff is beautiful. You're struggling with the aftermath of a parent's death and working on raising a tiny human and that is a LOT OF STUFF and struggle is to be expected. It's a pretty normal response. That may be cold comfort now while you're in the middle of it, but that also means it's probably not always going to be a struggle, because normal, expected struggles tend to come and go. I wish you the best in slogging through.

      • Lee Thomson says:

        Vladhazel you are clearly practicing to meet the high standards in comfort set by RoseCamelia because that is really really lovely.

        My experience with misery is that is diminishes but sometimes so slowly it takes looking at everything in retrospect to realize things are, in however small a fashion, better now.

        have an internet hug

    • CleverManka says:

      LaxMom and vladazhael both had such lovely comments so I'm just gonna say OMG AXE MURDERER

    • meat_lord says:

      I'm not sure when the struggling stops either, but I send strength & good vibes, and hugs if you like them <3

      Rascal? Is that one of those motorized grocery store cart things? I have never heard that term for them in my life. Fascinating.

      • Räven says:

        I assumed a rascal was probably like a romper tbh, but everyone else in this thread seems to know about the motorized carts, which makes more sense in context.

    • Heathered says:

      Super self-care time, including recognition of how resilient you're being by keeping a sense of humor. I hope it gets easier/gentler soon.

    • damngoodcoffee says:

      I'm sending you many good thoughts/vibes, and can only think to pass on this, which was told to me by a therapist a little while ago: You're focusing on the struggling part right now, but you're more resilient than you think you are. As has been noted, the 3-point turn on the rascal is quite the (wonderful) mental image, and reacting with humor I think is one of the best signifiers of resiliency out there.

    • Flitworth says:

      I don't want to go to work tomorrow. I hate feelings.

      • RoseCamelia says:

        I give you permission to take the day off, if permission is what you need. You deserve rest, physical and emotional, whenever you feel the need.

    • redheadfae says:

      I hope I answered this in the proper thread. Intensedebate confuses me and makes me feel like stupid old lady on Internet.
      I am also high functioning depressive as well as hypomanic and my mum died last February I understand dealing with dad's feelings and sudden waterworks. My sympathies.
      Axe murderer was the best thing I read all week. Well done. Golf clap and all that.

  16. LaxMom says:

    Oh, I forgot, I'm not sleeping through it, but I am skipping the Teengirl's end-of-year teen thing at our church. She *says* she's ok with it. (it's not coming of age or anything, just the end of OWL class). Because my sister and I are going to the theater sunday morning to see the Daniel Radcliff "Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead" showing, and that is literally the ONLY time they are showing it. And they aren't even showing it in Vegas at all, so this is our only chance.

  17. pseudonymica says:

    I'll be sleeping through the entwined serpent nightmares of existential angst and money worries, yay!

    I had a cousin (her grandmother was my great aunt, but we called her grandma – she was a flapper who played the piano at silent movies!)…this cousin was in high school when I was a little girl and she was like a valedictorian Barbie doll and always really nice to me. Then she left for a year or so. The legend is that she was partying with the Kennedys. After that she was schizophrenic and she spent her time wandering around town with garishly overdone 80s makeup – blue eye shadow and pink blush and lips – carrying a teddy bear. She was still always really nice to me and when she saw me she would say hi enthusiastically and I would say hi enthusiastically and I would feel both happy and sad.

    Anyway, she died yesterday. Her niece posted about it on Facebook with pictures that were all from the 70s and 80s, as if she had no life that could be represented on social media after that.

    A good thing I will be doing this weekend: I found a mysterious Montblanc fountain pen in a drawer and I think it must be genuine because it writes like no pen I've ever used! My old enthusiasm for paper and pen journal writing is in full swing and I love it.

  18. damngoodcoffee says:

    IDEK. Things have been simultaneously slow and stressful at work, which is usual for summer, from what I've been able to tell – lots of hurrying up and waiting; lots of things depending on other people's schedules and whether or not they get back to you. Continued drama w/TL, but it looks like things are ultimately going to go our way and turn out okay.

    This weekend I haven't decided yet how I want to spend my time. I took off Tuesday so I have a nice 4-day weekend, but it really depends on the weather and how much I feel like doing in the moment, honestly. Catching up on iZombie will be part of it, though.

  19. Lee Thomson says:


    and it sounds like:

  20. Flitworth says:

    I forgot to tell y'all: the dog will not respond to husband at all if he is wearing running shorts now because she hates his running pace. She will even go back to bed and pretend to sleep if he puts them on after she's gotten up.

  21. MLISCostFan says:

    Vacay! Vacay dance!

    The sister of one of my coworkers died suddenly Tuesday. I plan to call my coworker on Saturday and since she's returning to work next Tuesday, I'll visit if she's up to it.I plan to bring lunch and some extra food with strawberry pie. When my father died, a friend of my brother visited with flowers and strawberry pie. She explained that in her family, it's traditional to bring something sweet to go with the bitter.

    • CleverManka says:

      Feeding people in a time a crisis is my default action. I'm going to remember that about the sweet, thank you.

    • RoseCamelia says:

      I am sorry for your coworker. Sudden deaths are cruel. You're a kind, thoughtful coworker.

      When our 30-something neighbor died suddenly, Mr Rose and I discussed what to do to help her husband and 2 small children. The day of the funeral we noticed there were at least 2 dozen children at their house with attendant adults bearing casseroles and such. So we bought 8 dozen iced cupcakes to take next door. So many people we'd never met before rang our doorbell just to say how welcome those cupcakes were.

  22. Onymous says:

    Operation Drinky Drinky Bird is off to a rousing success. Rio Bravo had a delightful marzen and a very good ipa and pinon stout. I'm now at Bow and arrow with a v. competent saison.

  23. redheadfae says:

    We coped with my FIL's stroke this week by running away to Colorado and are sampling gummies to amuse ourselves and forget the crap back home.
    (Lest anyone think the escape is heartless, FIL is my spouse's step dad and there's really no love lost. He has wife and J's sibling to tend to what's needed.)
    I accidentally tricked J into eating Rocky Mountain Oysters. I had no idea he didn't really know what they were, LOL. Still chuckling to myself.
    It's pouring rain and hail off and on, and quite chilly here, but we're amusing ourselves pretty well. 🙂

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