Mid-week check-in

Clever Manka, · Categories: Check-In

This is the weekly post for those of us who are traversing together this hellscape called Personal Growth. Brag about this week’s accomplishments, ask for support, talk about what worked, what didn’t. Tell us how things are going for you.

189 Responses to “Mid-week check-in”

  1. Heathered says:

    Am I really first? Dang. Well, life has thrown me a series of curve balls in the past five days, BUT I am still planning a project to start tomorrow. I want to create a game. Since I'm not starting yet I don't actually know anything more than that, but it fits my budget ($50) and is something I have always wanted to do. No plans to publish, etc., it's just for fun and to get me thinking like a designer. But I'm also gonna have to up my job search game significantly, because life. Still scrolling through yesterday's Tumblr, and I might also want to make a dress out of bricks.

    • Doc_Paradise says:

      What kind of a game? Board game? Card game? Roleplaying game?

      • Heathered says:

        NO IDEA! I've held myself back from even considering the question because I want to start from super duper Square One. But I really like board games, so that's a possibility for sure.

        • Doc_Paradise says:

          Ha! Creating games can be fun. I love table-top roleplaying games. Also as a kids, we sometimes invented sports. Modifying existing games can also be fun. I once found myself with a pool table, snooker balls, and no idea how to play snooker, so I made up a game involving competing assassins from media trying to take each other (coloured balls) out without taking out the bystanders (red balls).

    • CleverManka says:

      What a fun project! I look forward to hearing details over the next 90 days!!!

    • damngoodcoffee says:

      That game idea sounds like such an awesome challenge/project! Just, like you said, from a design-thinking perspective. I'll be eager to hear your experiences in that as it goes on.

    • Kazoogrrl says:

      Cool! I designed a board game when I was in middle school. I remember nothing except it was about the environment and I called it Destination Unknown. Mostly I think it was an excuse to get out of class and work on a special project.

      • Heathered says:

        …and listen to Missing Persons? Oh no, I drew a "nobody walks in L.A." card! Sorry, carbon footprint!

  2. CleverManka says:

    Three weeks into my Levothyroxine experiment, and…nothing terrible has happened? I don't know if the headaches that first week were due to body adjustments or weather, but they haven't come back. More in a reply.

    • CleverManka says:

      My sleep is better–have had only two nights in that time period where I'm awake for several hours. I still wake up in the wee hours more nights than I don't, but most of the time I can fall back asleep quickly.

      I'm having problems not running myself to fatigue, still. Just basic maintenance stuff is enough to wear me down. I'm scheduling a massive food prep session for this coming Monday that will eliminate my need to do more than microwave stuff (or throw salad fixings into a bowl) for at least a week. Maybe running myself ragged for a day is an adequate trade-off? I dunno, it's worth a try.

      As things are I'm still not getting the rest I'm supposed to be. And I haven't even started a daily movement program! Slow change is terrible and annoying but necessary. I am itching to get busy in the craft room, but feeding myself should probably take precedence. And then movement/yoga. Then art. sigh

      Update on Thick Foods eyebrow waggle: Yogurt has had no ill effects (eating it about three times a week) and steel-cut oats made with almond milk went down great Sunday morning. Small victories!

      I'm ready for the Burgomaster's writing workshop stuff to start because I don't know how much longer I can stand to be in the same space with him pretty much 24/7. A couple hours a day secluded in my bedroom is not nearly enough. I am not made for constant emotional delicacy. The combination of his increasing anxiousness/excitement with work stuff/workshops coupled with my feeling suffocated by the Vast Amounts of things packing our living space is not conducive to a calm home atmosphere.

      Maybe I'll just haul my laptop up to my bedroom and close the door right now. Yes, that's probably a good idea.

      • LaxMom says:

        There are times that the laptop in bed is the only way I can shrink the pressures of the world to a small enough boundary that I can function. It's pretty much how I wrote my master's thesis with 3 kids in a 900 sq. ft house (esp. since that was dead animal landlord and we couldn't go outside).
        I am sorry things are still not improving for you. I think the cooking prep is a good idea. Maybe you could take breaks on prep day for naps in between menus.

        • CleverManka says:

          I am currently ensconced in the bedroom, lit only by three candles and two strands of fairy lights. WHY DID I NOT DO THIS EARLIER?

          I'm honestly looking forward to my food prep day. When I was preparing for the hysterectomy convalescence, I prepped four giant Bowls of Food in a little over nine hours one day. That's about two week's worth of lunches and dinners for us, allowing for the occasional instances of "please go buy a rack of ribs from the local bbq place" and "maybe you can go out for burgers with your friends tonight."

          I really do love working in the kitchen but I never want to do it for $$$.

          • meat_lord says:

            I am currently ensconced in the bedroom, lit only by three candles and two strands of fairy lights.

            That sounds so delightful! If you have to force yourself to rest, that is clearly the best environment to do it in.

          • CleverManka says:

            Seriously I don't know why I didn't think of this before. I put headphones on and it's like I'm alone in the house. <3 <3 <3

      • damngoodcoffee says:

        Your food prep session sounds similar to my normal food prep for the week. Cooking/baking is a once a week thing, and even then I never spend more than a couple hours on it. But that's a couple more hours than it used to be, so I count it as progress.

        I'm glad your sleep is better, and I hope you're eventually able to get to a place where you have more energy and feel more comfortable generally. I also feel you on the space/privacy thing.

        • CleverManka says:

          Yay for others who do weekly food prep! I think it's a lot of fun (because I love cooking). I also enjoy cooking a fresh dinner every night but that hasn't happened in a long time. =(

          • damngoodcoffee says:

            I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all this. I hope this change of schedule (food prepping once a week) will lead to a bunch of new/interesting recipes that you wouldn't be able to do otherwise.

          • CleverManka says:

            I am currently searching for more crockpot recipes, which is something I do periodically, anyway. This Buffalo Chicken Chili was my last great find!

      • LaxMom says:

        Also saying, Can I be your internet food prep partner? With no holiday, relatives, or kids in the house, it's time for me to get serious about eating healthy, eliminating dairy so I can breathe again, and getting this new kitchen functioning. I just might be able to pull a menu plan together by Monday.

      • Heathered says:

        So glad to hear you're getting to play with food options! I love finding the best/tastiest things within any set of restrictions, but freedom is a lot more fun.

  3. vladazhael says:

    8 DAYS 8 DAYS 8 DAYS 8 DAYS 8 DAYS 8 DAYS 8 DAYS…

    Hey, guys, this is vlad's superego. The rest of her has gone fully off the rails over a boy and become generally useless as a human being, and I'm here just trying to hold things together so she shows up at her job on a regular basis and remembers to eat. It's not easy, I've gotta say. But we're in the home stretch and things are looking good for the situation, if not for her sense of restraint. We'll get through this.

  4. damngoodcoffee says:

    I don't want to spend time detailing why/how TL is being awful this week, but as it regards my personal growth: I did my best to combat passive aggressive manipulation and other underhanded communication styles by being assertive w/o going over the top. Also, I'm currently avoiding total rage by listening to podcasts on my earbuds so I don't have to hear her OTT high-pitched laughter in the next office.

    Other than that, this past weekend I had a minor revelation on my extreme introversion: there are certain things that I want to do, but that are only worth doing (for me) if I'm with other people. This has been a little hard for me to admit, as I want to believe I can do ALL THE THINGS w/o having to rely on friends in my immediate area, but honestly, I have absolutely no desire to do (for example) indoor rock climbing by myself, even though I think I would really enjoy it with friends.

    This probably sounds super obvious, but I don't think I ever really articulated it to myself until this weekend. It's hard, b/c I spend the majority of my time outside of work alone, and for the most part I prefer it that way. But there are times when more social interaction would be nice (outside of online & skype chats), and that's just not much of an option right now. The good side of all this is that it's making me really focus on things I actually like to do alone, rather than the things I think would be nice to do, but where the social aspect is integral to the experience for me.

    • CleverManka says:

      Oh god I haaaaaaaaaaate listening to the laughter of People I Despise. Especially in an office setting.

      Re: introvert who prefers to do some things socially, what an interesting thing to contemplate! Also such a good thing to know ahead of time so when you do get the…opportunity(?) to do things with other people, you won't waste it doing the things you'd rather do alone.

      • damngoodcoffee says:

        It is mainly an opportunity thing rn. I don't drive and don't live in a metropolitan area that has good public transportation or lots of meetups. I'm quite close with my coworkers, and very occasionally do things w/them outside of work, but most of them live further away and have live-in partners & close ties where they do live. Aaand I'm aro ace which kind of makes dating not an option. So. My plan rn is to eventually (when I have more $$ saved up) move closer to a major city, depending on how long I work at my current institution (if I do keep working here for a few more years at least that will mean moving closer to Boston) so I have more options of meetups/things to do. In the meantime, if any interesting meetups crop up closer to where I live I'll just take uber/lyft.

        tl;dr: It's just an annoying situation rn that I'm continually navigating.

        • Heathered says:

          This is super interesting to think about. I live in a rural county seat and don't drive, but I have no close ties here at all & found the meetups and other social things I've tried to go to never lead to friendship outside of them, so they started draining all my blood. I like being in a *small* city, though, and can't handle the pace of large ones well. Hmm. HMMM.

          • damngoodcoffee says:

            I totally get you- Currently I feel like if I lived in a bigger city there would be less of a barrier to get to those meetups- like, b/c there are so many there and they'd be so much closer I'd be more likely to go, since I wouldn't have to expend so much energy just to get to-and-from. I used to go to meetups in DC when I lived in Northern VA, but on public transport that took like 1.5 hours each way (not counting delays), and it was just such a time commitment just to go to an awkward lunch. I'm hoping that being close enough so that I don't have to travel so damn far will help with not being so drained by the experience.

            Because really, meetups are a lot of effort for often very little payoff (like, there are so many where they have hundreds of members and like, 2 people go to the actual meetups; like joining a meetup group is the social equivalent of signing up for a MOOC). There look to be some fun ones in Boston and I've actually gone to one where people were like 'you came here from where?,' which did not help with the whole 'drained' feeling.

            I grew up in the suburbs outside of NYC so I'm a bit more accustomed to bigger cities, but I never wanted to live there. But the whole thing, either way, is such a trade off when you want to meet people but also just kind of want people to chill with. Like if my friend who lives states away from me lived close by I wouldn't be having this problem. It's situational, and I think (at least for my part) I need to decide where I'm willing to expend my effort. Right now, that's at work and on skype w/my close friend (and on here and some social media outlets and texting w/my family), with people I already know and like, even if they don't live near me.

            Geez, sorry, I seem to want to type all the words today.

          • Flitworth says:

            This is why I opted to live near the T even though I worked in the 495 loop in my 20s. I knew I could force myself to go a long way for work but not for social stuff.
            It sucks that the Boston area is so expensive.
            I hope you find the right balance.

          • damngoodcoffee says:

            Thank you! I'm doing alright with it now, and it's made me realize more about myself and what's okay for me and what's not. And for the large part being solitary works for me, but it's not what I want all the time, so more options would be nice, in the future.

          • CleverManka says:

            I seem to want to type all the words today.
            That's what this space is here for!

          • RoseCamelia says:

            When I lived in Philadelphia, I had a friend who lived in Allentown. She spent the 2nd and 4th Saturdays of each month in Philadelphia. If there was an event or invitation that coincided, great. If not, she'd go anyway and hit one of many art museums. This way, she cut down on the travel planning. She had her routine Allentown parking spot for a Saturday morning train, and she memorized Saturday night return trains. If it looked like a late evening, she'd overnight at my place and get a Sunday train back to Allentown. She also had a routine for the train rides. She counted on that time for reading and for correspondence.

          • CleverManka says:

            Oh my gosh this is a brilliant idea.

          • damngoodcoffee says:

            That's really interesting; I don't know if it would be worth it for myself, honestly, though I do go into Boston occasionally. I just use so much of my socializing energy up at work I don't know that I'd be able to convince myself to make that kind of commitment. It does make sense, though, to memorize routes and to just go, anyway, even if there's nothing going on. Even if I don't think I could do precisely that, it's definitely something to consider in some form, and a way to get to know the city better. Thank you. 🙂

            ETA: I realized as I was typing this though, that in my earlier post I should've posted that while I would like more opportunities to socialize outside of work, my own introversion/how much energy I expend socializing at work is another huge factor in the opportunities I'm willing to take. I don't have enough on the weekends to do certain kinds of things, but I do still really appreciate the suggestion. 🙂

          • Heathered says:

            No, it's super interesting to chew on! I hope you find a situation that gives you the right balance.

    • Kazoogrrl says:

      I'm going to think about that introversion and socializing thing, it may apply to me too.

  5. LaxMom says:

    So they leave tomorrow for a month.
    I hate this empty nest thing, but on the other hand I am really done walking on eggshells around teenboy and I need a break from that.
    Need to get my butt in gear re: custody lawyer.
    Teengirl graduates 8th grade today! Tomorrow I officially have 2 high schoolers!

    • CleverManka says:

      Wow that is a lot of stuff to process at once. I hope the empty nest time gives you the spoons you need to deal with the custody stuff.

    • Heathered says:

      Ooh, I hope empty nesting, while hard, allows you some time to regroup and recharge. Best of luck with the custody hearing and try to wedge as much extravagant self-care as you can into this slower time.

  6. meat_lord says:

    Yay, open thread! HI FRIENDOS, I HOPE YOU ARE ALL DOING WELL OR AT LEAST MODERATELY OKAY.

    My sister's visit went about as well as could be expected–we had a great time and didn't fight. However, we had a few more Serious/Awkward Sibling Conversations in front of other people than I wanted. We're still struggling to interact with each other in a way that we can both understand and that isn't painful. (We basically form an escalating anxiety/irritation feedback loop unless we are actively trying to keep a lid on it. FUN.)

    I have a bad habit of stalking my shitty ex-friend/former Most Important Person's social media. They talked about me this week, and it was more upsetting than I'd expected. But on the other hand, they also admitted that they had treated me terribly, which is the closest thing to closure I'm probably ever going to get. I think it's time to stop reading their blogs for good, now.

    I stayed up until 2:30 am reading Yuri on Ice fanfiction last night. I have no justification for this action.

    • CleverManka says:

      "I wanted to" is perfect justification for a late-night fic binge, IMO.

    • damngoodcoffee says:

      As someone who regularly goes to bed at around 9:30pm, fic is the one thing that will keep me up past my bedtime and I just can't feel bad about it ever. Fic is great. 🙂

      I hear you on the anxiety/irritation feedback loop. I feel like it's particularly common in families (and harder to back away from, I think). Congrats on not fighting, though!

    • Lee Thomson says:

      FB stalking the shitty ex-friend… yes, I must also stop doing that, thank you for clarifying what I was up to. It felt defensive, like I could keep farther away from them if I knew what they were up to, but the sudden jolt of adrenaline when they are headed my way is Horrible.

      fanfic for the win, in the soothing department though. At least for me.

    • Kazoogrrl says:

      YOI is its own justification!

    • Xolandra says:

      I am making a date with an old roomie to watch YOI presently! I have heard uniquely excellenbt things.

      • meat_lord says:

        It's pretty damn great, IMO. I hope you enjoy!

      • Kazoogrrl says:

        It's so fun, especially the later episodes when they go back over things that happened earlier.

        At the end I remember being like, heeeeey, wait, exactly how do things stand now? Not in a bad way, though. Also, I recommend it if you can find a dubbed version so you can concentrate on the skating.

        • meat_lord says:

          How's the voice acting in the dub? A lot of the English voice acting for anime just makes me cringe, so I've been watching the sub rather than take the risk.

          • Kazoogrrl says:

            I don't watch a lot of anime so I can't really compare, but I thought it was good!

  7. MLISCostFan says:

    Oh lovely, I have caught a cold for my vacation. Good thing I'm not traveling this time.

    Wish me luck. I have a nasty history of having my bronchial tubes go hyperactive whenever I have a cold.

  8. Lee Thomson says:

    I'm all whiny b/c my BOAT isn't going to ship until next week (June 9, for those playing along at home) and it was supposed to ship yesterday and I want it nooooooooooowwwwww….

    Aside from that New England is rainy and cool, and I like the cool part the clouds are starting to get me down. Maybe I shall grow moss, like a good sessile stone.

  9. Doc_Paradise says:

    We get our first CSA basket today. I'm looking forward to fresh veggies. I put my veggie garden in last weekend. We have a ground hog living under the back step, so I'm a bit concerned that I may have to duel for my garden this year. So far, he seems more interested in the dandelions and clover than my tomatoes so… here's to hoping.

    I've decided that I'm getting a tattoo ASAP after this biopsy. I need it for my mental health.

    • Flitworth says:

      We have a ground hog living under the back step

      Fucker. We have one too (called The Lardbear, I wanted to trap it and move it to the local golf course but apparently that's illegal). Don't let it win.

      We also have a lot of rabbits threatening our garden…which is why we also had rabbit pie for dinner the other day.

    • CleverManka says:

      Ooo! I hope you get fun stuff in your basket! Do you mean like…a full-grown groundhog/woodchuck? WOW! I have urban wildlife jealousy! (and also no garden)

    • mowinda says:

      My mom's weekly calls to me always include a part about the battles with various groundhogs that week and how they went (sometimes she'll text me a picture). She uses those giant wire cage traps and then drives them out somewhere far away to let them go like she's in the mafia.

      • Doc_Paradise says:

        My grandfather had a war against squirrels once. He had a partially wooded property and started trapping squirrels. Since my grandmother wouldn't let him commit mass squirrel slaughter, he released the squirrels in a local cemetery… at the end of the summer the local newspaper ran a story about the amazing boom in squirrels at this cemetery. My grandfather lost the war in the end.

      • Flitworth says:

        Good on your mom!! Tell her thank you for doing God's work from a stranger on the internet.

      • Lee Thomson says:

        My mother was given an air rifle and lessons by my brother, and she would stand in the bathtub hiding behind the curtains and take potshots out the bathroom window at the groundhog that was aggravating her. This was both horrifying and high comedy, but she did eventually terrify the groundhog and he went away.

  10. Kazoogrrl says:

    J went away for a day and a half to visit family. I had the house to MYSELF and even turned down delightful low key cook-out plans so I could spend 24 hours without speaking to a human. Sadly, one of the cook-out friends slipped and badly broke her wrist, so I'm going to try pop in and help her and her husband out a bit, though they live about 40 min away.

    On the crap adulting side, our hot water heater is leaking and tomorrow I'm shelling out 1k to have it replaced. Blargh.

    • CleverManka says:

      Poor friend, but fuck yeah alone time! (I am trying to have Alone Time right now but Someone just got out of a Very Important Meeting and has Great Needs to Talk About It)

      • Kazoogrrl says:

        I get that after every water ballet meeting, and there are only so many intricate details I can politely listen to when it's about a project in which I'm not involved.

    • Lee Thomson says:

      When ever I hear about hot water heater issues I am reminded of the Mythbusters who basically put a water heater into low earth orbit by killing all the failsafes. And then I am grateful for the failsafes, and yeah, it feels like a hideous waste of dollars but still – life without hot water = camping and that is NOT to be endured.

      • Kazoogrrl says:

        The last time I camped, last month, there were hot showers!

        The hot water heater was 23 years old and replaced two owners ago, so I can't complain too much!

  11. Xolandra says:

    I AM TELEWORKING. Which means I am actually working. Go me.

    Friends, The Most Canadian Thing happened last week. I am knitting thigh high socks, and I bought a garter belt to help them stay up. Only upon opening said belt did I realise that I had no freaking clue how to use the clasps. I was all whiny about having to google that shit, when GentlemanX roared over to look and was like "O, easy, those are just like hockey garters" and proceeds to demonstrate.

    Now i have to tink a few rows and add yarn overs so that the belt doesn't eat my socks, but – other than the required math – that should be easy.

  12. mowinda says:

    My manager just emailed me about doing a "six month check in" (isn't a yearly eval enough?????) and I am gonna have to prep myself to seem like I am interested at all in talking about my job. Most of why I'm unhappy is that a lot of my work has been taken away and given to another department. (She for sure knows this). I'm in a union so I'm a little more protected but it's not a great look to go into a meeting with your manager and say "I have almost no work now and I'm so bored and I hate this."

    • Xolandra says:

      a) performance reviews are ze absolute worst. Toasthugs for you.
      b) related anecdote: we got a new Director of Important Things, and she's a real _people_ person, you know? So she wanted to meet each and everyone of us for a one on one conversation. Mine was scheduled so far in advance that I had so long to ruminate on my "career goals" that my brain got stuck in a feedback loop of "my career goals consist enitrely of _never having to have a conversation like this ever again_". Fortunately my boss (direct report to new Director) saw me in the bathroom one day and I started crying while asking for career advice (ie how do I not tank my career because above) and she was like "just… decline the invite?" Three months later, I have still never had to talk to the new director. Sometimes, my job is really great.

      I hope that your boss gives you the support you require.

      • Flitworth says:

        I had so long to ruminate on my "career goals"

        Totally read this as 'career goats'. A topic I could discuss endlessly if you are ever cornered into this subject. hmu

        • Xolandra says:

          ahahahahahaha, career goats. Is that, like, where a human just tries to eat everything available? or when goats don business suits and hit Wall Street?

          • littleinfinity says:

            or when you quit your day job to become a goat farmer?

          • Flitworth says:

            Ozzy Man Reviews Goat Rampage — "Now we have the victims POV, this is terrifying shit. It's like the Blair Witch Project. There's a fan theory to spread: the Blair Witch was a fuckin' goat."

            More of a goat-related career than a career-related goat….

      • mowinda says:

        Ha! I briefly thought about whether just pretending I didn't get the email might work (it might).

  13. Flitworth says:

    I am stuck on an all-hands call for work. The presenter used 'shitload' as a measure of sales and just said 'this was calculated at [Sarah] level' – Sarah being an actual person, not an acronym, a mathematical element, nor a level of management.

  14. jenavira says:

    I got back from WisCon on Monday afternoon and then I slept until 3:00 on Tuesday afternoon and now I am at work and I still don't know what I am doing with my life, but I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend and is doing well!

    My anxiety levels were high all throughout con, and are still high today, and I don't know if it's the amount of caffeine I required to get through four days on a grand total of about ten hours sleep or if this is a thing, now. Fortunately I am well supplied on use-as-needed anxiety meds, which I haven't needed for a while.

  15. RoseCamelia says:

    The Move project inches forward. We have a closing date for the current house about 3 weeks from now. We await final approval for the new mortgage, after which we can set the closing date for that house. We requested closing the day after closing on the current house. (Current and new houses are ~100 miles apart.)

    I just reserved day care for the dogs for the current house closing. I scheduled a vaccination for one dog and must remember to get the certificate to day care or she will be turned away.

    I have to find a dog-friendly motel near the current house for the 2 nights we will still be in town after movers take our beds away. I have already selected our dog-friendly hotel near the new house. But I have to remember to make a reservation.

    I must schedule a move-out cleaning vendor and a carpet stretching vendor for the day after the movers empty the current house.

    I'd like to schedule doggy dentistry for CuddleBoy for before the move. I talked with a vet today about continuing LittleGirlDog's ear infection treatments locally even after the move. It's too complicated to start over with a new vet. Too stressful for the little dog and for me. Better to return to our current vet. I will have to spend the day in my current location after I no longer own a house in it so LIttleGirlDog can get an MRI. LibLemon, I'll be in your library for hours that day; you've been warned.

    We leave appliances behind in our current house. Mr Rose is shopping for our next refrigerator today. Something to be delivered to the house still under construction, a house we do not yet own. I have to shop for a new washer and dryer.

    I have to schedule delivery of the 2 shipping containers of household stuff currently in storage. I have to coordinate scheduling with men to unload them and place our furniture. Then there's scheduling pickup of the empty shipping containers.

    So many vendors. We are so very, very fortunate that Mr Rose's employer is reimbursing us for most of these expenses.

    But I am tired, Mankan friends. I feel better than previously, I'm sleeping better, but I'm tired every day. Mr Rose says it's the stress of so many details. I'd add the lack of routine as an energy drain. Everything has to be planned for multiple angles, little is repeated. Except, of course, that this is our umpteenth move. It is all so familiar. But always so tiring.

    • littleinfinity says:

      Moving is always one of the worst things. Psychically and physically and emotionally draining for sure. I'm glad you're able to have (paid-for!) vendors/ movers rather than doing it all yourselves, though!

    • Xolandra says:

      Ooooof, I hate moving for these exact reasons. So much organization, so little payoff for a job well done. And if you mess it up, you hafta deal with all of the consequences. I hope that this is your last move in quite some time.

    • CleverManka says:

      You are always in my thoughts! I'm glad you are getting some sleep to offset so much stress.
      <img src="http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/clevermanka/1047329/355501/355501_900.gif"&gt;

    • Heathered says:

      "the lack of routine as an energy drain." Good grief, yes. I think of you as being very *on* when it comes to scheduling, but all the unpredictability of things makes it so hard to feel like you're on a path to anywhere. But you are! So many good wishes for it all to run smoothly and for your mojo to snap back.

  16. Räven says:

    I am sulking because my breakthrough idea on a project looks like it is too controversial in the present moment, and I'm back to being totally lost for a solution. Also, somebody has been spraypainting white supremacist graffiti around my neighborhood and I want to deal with it, but I don't want to go to jail, but I can't let it be there. So I am full of rage and frustration. That's not personal growth, alas, it's more of a shrinkage, I guess.

    Many thanks to everyone on Friday who urged me to go see Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds all alone! I did and it was great, he was great, I'm really glad I went.

    • RoseCamelia says:

      Painter's tape. It's safe to stick to anything and can be removed easily. Just tape over all that awful stuff. You can't be arrested for tape that won't even harm paper.

      • Lynn says:

        There is a certain school of tagger in my city that pre-scrawls their tags on big shipping labels and then sticks them to stuff, because it's really easy to slap it up there and move on before anyone realizes what happened. Maybe a nice big RACISTS NOT WELCOME HERE counter label?

        • Kazoogrrl says:

          I think some people use the free USPS Priority or similar blank stickers that you can sometimes snag from the post office?

          • Räven says:

            I like this stickers idea, although their sidewalk template is larger than any readily-available sticker. I do carry a sharpie to adapt any wall-tagging, maybe I'll make stickers for that. (I do find walls tend to get painted over by the owners pretty fast, but most people are more likely to have a can of paint than a sandblaster, I guess.)

    • Kazoogrrl says:

      Glad to hear Nick Cave came through for you!

      And fuck that graffiti. Trying to thing of an idea.

      • Räven says:

        Also, you'll appreciate this detail, I've been listening to vintage Bad Seeds sets on YouTube, and the cat is really interested in Blixa particularly – whenever they do the Weeping song he comes over close and sometimes puts his paw on the screen.

    • Xolandra says:

      Can you call your municipality? Slight con here is that the property owner might be on the hook for the removal.

      • Räven says:

        It's on sidewalks, and the city doesn't seem to care. Free speech trumps vandalism, apparently. Children have been covering it with chalk drawings, but it's been raining lately. I just want to go out with a can of spray paint.

        • Xolandra says:

          Is there a local anti-fa group that you can get in touch with? Because a mask, a black outfit, and a little white privilege go a loooooooooooooong way under the cover of darkness.

          If you were close enough I would totally just roar over and do this for you.

          • Räven says:

            Honestly, I feel like I might be the best person around to take it out – I'm white, I'm older than the beat cops, I already own some spray paint: it might be worth it. Thanks for the good wishes.

        • Kazoogrrl says:

          I keep thinking some sort of tinted chalk or milk paint or thinned wheat paste to splash on top.

    • Doc_Paradise says:

      Yay! I'm glad you went and had a fabulous time.

      Is there some place where you could report it or send photos of the graffiti to?

    • CleverManka says:

      I would be sulking, as well. "Too controversial in the present moment." Ugh. The words alone make me want to burn something. White supremacists, for example.

  17. littleinfinity says:

    I have had The Brain Fog for the last couple of weeks, with a brief reprieve last weekend when we went camping just south of Big Sur. It was so gorgeous and there were bunnies and quails and very few humans <3 I felt like I was mentally engaged and alert again and it was wonderful. Then I came back to work. And now it is gray and cloudy both outside and inside of my brain. How do I fix?? I am taking my meds and trying to eat healthier and get more sleep (although the last two could always use work, tbh). It feels like an actual physical barrier in the front of my brain that reduces me to operating at half capacity all the time. I just want to live on a mountain and befriend the local wildlife and shoo passing travelers away from my cave 🙁

    • CleverManka says:

      I HEAR YOU and I have no idea how to remove that barrier. I am Very Nervous that I'm going to experience a similar barrier when I return to work after leave. All the hugs. And I hope the weather at least clears up a bit for you, if that would help.

      • littleinfinity says:

        Thank you!! That would help, actually. I joke that I am solar-powered, but… it's not really a joke.

        • LaxMom says:

          LOL, me too! The problem is I'm solar powered and get sun poisoning! It made for some really unpleasant summers until sunscreen caught up to my burnability. Now if I stay on top of it I can almost not get burned in a day.

          Everybody complained how hot it was when we did the Yucatan research. I was just like, give me a rock, I need to soak up this warmth like a lizard!

          • littleinfinity says:

            Saaame here. Not sun poisoning but I do burn easily. Somewhere in the annals of Facebook there is an actual picture of me pretending to be a lizard on a rock 😀

    • Heathered says:

      The camping part of all this sounds top notch, but I'm sorry you've come back to Brain Fog, ugh! Can you sneak in a random hour or two per week for mountain-top-like wildlife befriending? I am really into saying hi to squirrels.

      • littleinfinity says:

        I am definitely going to try to work in more outside/ nature time… usually I love LA but lately I think I've been feeling claustrophobic in the city. Too much construction and buildings and screen time and noise.

        Saying hi to squirrels is a great idea 🙂 I have a backyard squirrel who stops by sometimes and peeks in the window, perhaps I will leave him a peanut or something.

  18. Doc_Paradise says:

    So… I managed to grab the veggie basket just before the rain started…

    I got: rhubarb, asparagus, potatoes, tomatoes, green onions, cilantro, salad greens, radishes, spinach, bok choy, and cucumbers.

    What should I make?

    • jenavira says:

      Garlic roast potatoes, summer pasta, roasted bok choy (you do it the same way you do brussels sprouts, it's amazing), cucumber water (with a strawberry or two in it is even better), rhubarb pie…

      • Doc_Paradise says:

        What is cucumber water?

        Do you roast the both the bok choy stems and leaves?

        • jenavira says:

          It's putting slices of cucumber into a pitcher of water and leaving it in the fridge overnight, and then you get what's basically a very light cucumber-y tea that's delicious when it's really hot outside. If it's really really hot I add a little mint; if it's not so hot, strawberries. (I don't especially like the taste of just plain water, so I'm always looking for things to make it taste slightly better.

          Roast bok choy you do the stems; if you do the leaves they will burn up and float away before the stems are done. Although I think you could probably separate the leaves and stems and roast them both, just take the leaves out of the oven and eat them while the stems are finishing.

          • Doc_Paradise says:

            Hmm… there is a commercial cucumber-watermelon fizzy water that we like. I wonder if I could make a concentrated cucumber water with a bit of watermelon and then top it up with fizzy water. I bet that would work.

            Thanks

      • MLISCostFan says:

        Strawberry rhubarb pie, just saying.

    • Flitworth says:

      Radishes (because 2y ago we were swimming in them):

      *Sauteed in a bit of butter + salt
      *Julienned, added to olive oil, lime juice, cilantro, salt + pepper to taste, served on black bean tacos with feta
      *kkakdugi (radish kimchi)
      *pickled

    • littleinfinity says:

      Green onions/ cilantro/ cucumbers/ salad greens sounds like the beginnings of a delicious Thai-style salad! http://www.food.com/recipe/thai-salad-dressing-22

      I bet you could throw some radishes in there too, or even bok choy if you chopped it small enough.

      If your asparagus is pretty tender (or you can just cut off the woody bits), I love asparagus carpaccio. It's the best combination of umami and freshness. http://www.bonappetit.com/recipe/shaved-asparagus… It's also better if you make it about half an hour before serving so the vinaigrette has time to soak in a little bit.

    • Kazoogrrl says:

      A friend's totally fast and easy take on Tom Kha Gai, you could skip the cabbage and use bok choy, then garnish with cilantro. Or make peanut noodles and serve warm over lightly cooked bok choy or salad greens, with cucumber strips on top?
      https://beezers.wordpress.com/2013/02/17/beezers-

    • Xolandra says:

      Asparagus! Just throw that on fire (bbq) with salt n pepper and it is AMAZE. I also have a great asparagus pesto lasagna recipe I can share when I am not at work, and if you are interested.

  19. Lynn says:

    I am taking B12 vitamins for a bit to see if that helps with this ongoing fatigue (I read up on B12 deficiency and it sure seems to hit a bunch of my symptoms on the head). I don't normally self-diagnose but I'm just going to try it for a few days and if I'm still collapsing into bed at 10:30 every night I'll go to the doctor. You know, because I apparently can not get into the second half of the year without some other BS screwing with my life.

  20. LaxMom says:

    Postscript to the graduation ceremony.

    it's been *9* years since he left me, folks. NINE. And the idiot, today, tried to pull off a stunt at the school.
    I drove around to the upper school lot because the lower middle school lot was full before the graduation. We parked and got out. He was WAITING there in his car and all of a sudden got out and rushed up next to us (booking it across the parking lot) to WALK IN TOGETHER LIKE A FAMILY. Seriously. just whoosh, there he is next to me acting parental.
    Fuck him. She was late so I just let them go in the school and stayed outside like I was going to talk to the other couple in the parking lot.
    I can't believe he still pulls this shit. Sitting right behind/next to me at school things, following us places so it looks like we're together. Who is he trying to fool?!

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