Mid-week check-in

Clever Manka, · Categories: Check-In

Hi, Joey, it’s been a while

This is the weekly post for those of us who are traversing together this hellscape called Personal Growth. Brag about this week’s accomplishments, ask for support, talk about what worked, what didn’t. Tell us how things are going for you.

Note: I’m gonna be a tad late today. Just agreed to a 10am meeting (it’s 9:45–glad I’m mostly there for people to bounce stuff off and don’t need to bring any original thoughts myself!).

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153 Responses to “Mid-week check-in”

  1. Kazoogrrl says:

    I'm having some serious issues with getting my ass in gear for planning this trip to the UK in Feb. Like, I know I hate travel planning, but I'm encountering the depths of my dislike. I think part of it is that I'm going with two other people, one who does not live with me but is close, and one who likes far away, so just coordinating to plan together makes me twitchy. Yesterday I was looking at flight info, which made me feel panicky. Then I was looking at train options in the UK: more panicky. I haven't even poked at air b-n-b ideas or things to do for the first part of the trip. The other two people are doing the same so we can all bring our ideas to the table, but mostly I just want to make my own decisions and not bother talking to other people about it, which does not equal planning a trip with others. I'm trying to take baaaaaby steps to get organized, which right now boils down to pondering if I want to do the Harry Potter studio tour.

    On top of it, I'm feeling extra mentally and physically sluggish lately. Part of it is diet I think, I've pretty much been eating my emotions since March.

    I took off work Fri since the next 6-8 weeks here will be bonkers. I think I'm going to take myself out for brunch, then maybe go for a long solo woods walk (no dog, sometimes managing him is too much), maybe just sit and get coffee somewhere.

    • Heathered says:

      It sounds like you're doing a good job of planning! Baby steps are the way to go. Would it help to schedule super quick check-ins with your fellow travelers every two weeks just so they're in the loop and you can take it off your plate as a looming concern?

      • Kazoogrrl says:

        We have a FB messenger thread that's ongoing, and a shared Google Doc. I've been trying to avoid both, though checking in for politeness on occasion.

    • CleverManka says:

      Ooof. Best wishes, bb. TBH this is one of the reasons I don't travel much. I've gone on two out-of-town vacations (obligatory parental visits don't count) in ten years. I have no advice for you because ordering plane tickets terrifies me to the point of near-panic attacks but I have all the sympathy. Good luck. I hope your Friday off is perfect.

      • Kazoogrrl says:

        I'm glad I'm not the only one! I don't want to be held back by my issues, I really want to literally expand my horizons, but oh it's against my nature. I truly am a hobbit.

    • littleinfinity says:

      Ugh, sympathy. I always love the idea of going on trips but planning can be such a fraught experience.

    • damngoodcoffee says:

      Coordinating travel is super stressful, and I think any combination of brunch/woods walk/coffee sounds like a great idea. Good luck for the next 6-8 weeks!

    • jenavira says:

      I love planning travel, to the point where, if other people are not pulling their weight, I will just plan the whole thing and let them decide whether they're still going with me or not. This is how my anxiety manifests itself; I'm so afraid of missing out on something that I over-plan to the smallest detail. Your anxiety seems to be manifesting in the opposite direction, but maybe something similar to what I do would help: I spend some time forgetting that I'm actually going to make this trip and just look at all the cool things that are out there that I might like to do at some point. Once my head is full of cool things, it becomes easier to figure out what to actually do on any given day (and, paradoxically, easier to decide to take a day to just sit around the hotel and relax). As always, ignore this advice if it is not useful/you do not want advice right now.

      Enjoy your day off! That sounds lovely.

  2. Heathered says:

    I live so rural that my psychiatrist is just a lady on a TV screen who I have to talk to! Who knew such things existed? Adapting to higher dose of meds, too sleepy to do much otherwise, wait-listed for the chance to be seen by a live person, life goes on. I can read a little better now, though, which is helpful. Fingers crossed I can hit the library and get something gentle and squishy to read soon (thinking No. 1 Ladies' Detective Agency or similar).

    • Xolandra says:

      Do you know Robertson Davies at all? He is a Grumpy Old White Dude who was tenured at the UofT and wrote fiction before it was cool for tenured profs to produce fiction. I _highly_ recommend his work for soft, squishy novels. The Fifth Business is so iconoclastic in Canada that it makes it onto the syllabus in many schools 🙂 (NB: Is grumpy old white dude and like 30+ years old, so it is not, like, SJW focussed, and his oeuvre is maybe kinda shitty to some groups – like the romani. And women – but I don't reaaaaaaaaally remember at this point)

    • CleverManka says:

      I have doubts that public libraries still have them on the shelves, but I always recommend Mary Stewart romances for gentle and squishy (and short!) reads. Glad you're able to read again, at least, and hope the new med issues even out soon.

    • Kazoogrrl says:

      If you like mysteries, look up recommendations for cozy mysteries. Lots of times it's little old British ladies drinking tea and gently kicking ass.

    • jenavira says:

      I highly recommend Louise Penny for gentle, squishy, competence-porn mysteries.

    • Heathered says:

      So many squishy reading ideas, thank you!

    • Lee Thomson says:

      Ooh – I agree with Manka that Mary Stewart has some lovely romances, as does Elizabeth Peters/Ellis Peters, and there are always Father Cadfel mysteries as well, which I think are the same author but possibly with a different alias.

      Also I highly recommend Diana Wynn Jones' books – pretty much any of them. They cover a wide range of SF and F, have generally YA to college age protagonists, and are totally magical, and are my default comfort read.

    • RoseCamelia says:

      I seldom read fiction, so I was puzzling over whether "squishy" were a term for those more in-the-know or if it were just a Mankanaut type of descriptor.

      But I decided I like it, either way.

      Good to see you here, Heathered. Glad you have a psychiatrist, glad you can read again. Mankanaut hugs.

  3. Xolandra says:

    Y'all, I got to feel like the coolest human this weekend; I played my favourite music festival! I solidified many a friendship with cool local scenesters, I met the event organizers and got to tell them my story of finding and joining my gamelan through the exact festival I was about to play, I followed some humans on Instagram, and i had an extraordinarily pleasant time all around. I remember the exact moment Saturday afternoon when I thought to myself "o dear, I am borrowing extrovert points from next week as of right now", and I am still exhausted from far too little sleep, but wowzers. Best festival ever. There were even sleepy baby goats ^_^

  4. damngoodcoffee says:

    I have like 2 minutes (in the middle of new student orientation craziness), but I wanted to say hi! Things are v. busy but I loved going to Necronomicon this weekend. If you're at all interested in horror book trends, I went to a session called 'Paperbacks from Hell' that examined horror novels over 30+ years that was both hysterical and weirdly touching. It's being published as it's own book and I already have it on pre-order: https://www.amazon.com/Paperbacks-Hell-Twisted-Hi

  5. CleverManka says:

    Dr. Sexy's office is submitting the Shared Leave request (since the ADA office says they don't think the part time request is gonna fly) but I got a call yesterday from the ADA office asking to meet with me in person and I feel like that's not a good sign. That meeting happens Friday at 11.

    More deets and photo in a reply.

    • CleverManka says:

      I'm emotionally worn out (in addition to being physically fatigued from returning to work even part-time) and things aren't helped by Someone being weirdly aggressively defensive at home. He's going through his own issues with depression and anxiety about the coming semester and I'm trying to be patient but the best I can do right now is just withdraw. Partly I just want him to be the one to approach the conversation but at the same time I'm not bringing it up myself because I don't have the energy for heavy conversations especially when they come with accusations of me picking fights. Which I can see how he might feel I'm doing that? Maybe? I mean, I know it's not easy to hear your partner say "the way you're reacting here is Super Not Helpful." But I feel like after a decade together he should know (intellectually at least) that the only fights I pick are ones that involve boxing gloves.

      So the hellstate of Kansas refused to grant an exemption for concealed carry which means people can bring handguns to class now (Kansas does not even require a permit to own firearms). Check out the new addition to my daily office wear.
      <img src="http://clevermanka.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/new-jacket.jpg"&gt;
      Yes, I'm wearing it all day every day.

      • Räven says:

        Whoa. I may have gone gun-crazy this summer, but I live in a city with such restrictions that it's like the movies, only the cops and the criminals have them. I can't imagine having to worry about them at work on a casual basis. That is a lousy addition to your job.

        • CleverManka says:

          The majority of faculty, staff, and students oppose it but our administration didn't want to put their jobs on the line to officially oppose it. The working climate here is one of desperate humor but I guess a lot of us are used to that, being progressives in this part of the country.

      • Flitworth says:

        🙁 Glad you have one but, Christ, what is wrong with people….

      • LaxMom says:

        I have ALICE training, but I'm in a cubicle in the 4th floor. Pretty much doomed. I am in denial about the whole thing (This is an Ohio thing already).

        I already used up my "Fuck trump" and raised eyebrows from teenboy when it took me 3 hours to go through the insurance and find an endocrinologist I can see, because major health networks (ahem cleveland clinic) are refusing to take it anymore. THAT was how I wanted to spend my day, not.

        I will not be putting on a vest. I'm in denial. But hey, we are a tobacco products free campus! We can't stop the guns even though the university wants to, the law says we can't.

        • CleverManka says:

          Our tobacco-free policy goes into effect next year and I don't even smoke but I am SO ANGRY about the disparity/hypocrisy of the two issues. What the fuck, people. What. The. Fuck.

          • Lee Thomson says:

            You've seen the Open Carry counter-protesters carrying dildos (really giant, strangely colored ones) strapped to their backpacks? I think it is in TX somewhere…. and getting push-back because dildos are hurting impressionable youth but guns are a responsibility kids can handle.

            here it is:


            "Cocks not Glocks"

          • RoseCamelia says:

            In Austin, the bluest speck in bloody red Texas.

          • CleverManka says:

            The Cocks Not Glocks people are my heroes.

        • Flitworth says:

          I'm reminded of something our 8yo foster child mentioned about her school – they have drills for if there's an active shooter. The kids (primary school kids!!!) are supposed to close and lock the door, shut any curtains, turn out the lights and hide in the corner. What the ever-loving fuck is wrong with our nation?

      • jenavira says:

        KANSAS. 😐

      • littleinfinity says:

        Wow holy jesus fuck. A of all, you look like a badass, but B and more importantly, what the shit, Kansas? The fact that the administration is ok with letting sleep-deprived midterming students concealed carry … kinda makes me suspect these people have never MET a student.

        • CleverManka says:

          I don't think it's just my conspiracy hat talking when I say the state legislators ate trying to drive the progressives out of education and the whole state if they can. The Board of Regents/deans/chancellors on the other hand, well, they're just cowards imo.

      • Xolandra says:

        I honestly thought the new addition to your office wear was the eyebrow, but… dang. I am suddenly very, very glad to live above the 49th parallel, where gun laws are determined by the feds, and the opinion is for the most part "are you using it for hunting? then NOPE".

      • damngoodcoffee says:

        Oh geez, I'm so sorry about the necessary wardrobe addition and the emotional stress. Saying 'the way you're reacting is Super Not Helpful' is definitely not picking a fight; expressing something like that is really important, IMO.

        • CleverManka says:

          Thanks! I think so, too. I'm trying to remind myself he's still struggling with his own emotional crap but jfc two weird outbursts in two days and I'm just dude, what is going on with you oh wait nevermind I don't have the energy to care…bleh

      • Heathered says:

        America needs a good stiff kick in the rear end right about now. This is insane.

      • Kazoogrrl says:

        So screwed up! Home stuff, but really the gun stuff the most! And I was raised around them, have shot them, and really don't have one now because: too lazy to get training, too lazy to properly store, too lazy to ever go target shooting. AKA I'm gun moderate, but the crap at your campus is bullshit

    • CleverManka says:

      I'll wait to respond to the guns on campus comments until after I'm off campus and not using my work computer (because yes that's really an issue).

  6. redheadfae says:

    Ugh. It's stupid how nutty things have gotten on campus.
    And BG being emotionally challenging isn't great at all. I'm so sorry.
    Here, snuggle into my neck…

  7. redheadfae says:

    I missed my meds last night, stupidly, and although I know it's not a right now side effect, just knowing it has made me a puddle of "I can't".
    My reason for living and home revolves this past week since Saturday around putting holes in my poor kitty Pablo's ear every few hours and trying to figure when we'll get him balanced with insulin. He's still running high with glucose and just sleeping mostly because of the antibiotics and pain med. Poor lil bugger.
    The third party STD folks have still not made a decision and so I'm now two weeks without a check. Pfft.

  8. Kemnitiri says:

    What I loved KU, I can't say I am a fan of Kansas in the least; and this isn't helping with that. It is so hot here in Tx, I can't even imagine having to wear that. I'm not even going to touch the whole 'guns in a classroom' thing.

    • CleverManka says:

      It's such a mess. I try to be chill about it but some days that's easier than others. I'm not sure which Texas campuses went to campus carry but I think at least a few were in effect before ours.

  9. mowinda says:

    Hello! Popping in to say I STILL don't have a roommate but at this point I am just giving it up to Jesus, as they say. My roommate is moving out Saturday and cleaning the apartment with a service next week (which is kind of an unnecessary trouble since I clean just fine thanks) so at least I'll have about a week (and then a long weekend) of figuring out last minute options.

  10. Doc_Paradise says:

    I think we are putting one of our cats down tonight. He is gasping for breath and just pissed on the floor and was too tired not to sit in it. If he can make it to Friday, we can get his chest drained, but it doesn't look like he's going to make it. We are trying to figure out what to do now over text.

  11. Lee Thomson says:

    this is PERFECT weather for working on the boat and I am doing that RIGHT NOW, working my way down my list of things to finish. It will not be done to take Maine on Saturday which I had kind of figured out when I went to Space Witch after all, but I am still kind of bummed by that. I will be done before the equinox, which is about right since I started it at the Solstice. There are photos on my insta here: https://www.instagram.com/lee.thomson.art/

    the younger crow got her wisdom teeth out last week, and this week has a check-up, a tooth check-up, and a driving test on Friday just before we leave (at the crack of dawn) on Saturday for an island off the coast of Maine.

    Theoretically, time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once, but it tends not to work that way for me. Stuff piles up and then stretches out and then jams up again.

    in short: boat. boat, boat boat BOAT boat also family

    • CleverManka says:

      Time is not holding up its side of that bargain for you AT ALL. Hope you get a breather soon.

    • LaxMom says:

      older boy inherited my wonky teeth and needs a bonus tooth pulled, I better remind him about that. I am waiting to get Teenboy's out until after college entrance and legal drama, and band season, because that would just be evil to get his wisdom teeth out when he needs to play sousaphone.

      go, boat, go!

      (are you thinking of a solstice/equinox related name?)

    • RoseCamelia says:

      I love the timing, solstice to equinox. I am also a list person. Mine is a spreadsheet titled All At Once. You're doing well, maximizing fortuitous weather, working down the list. Go Lee!

    • Kazoogrrl says:

      Yay boat!

      Also, thanks for the link to your friend's dogs + camping blog, it's a really interesting and gorgeous read!

    • redheadfae says:

      Thank you for sharing the pix!

  12. jenavira says:

    How do you all set rules for yourself? Like, if you decide you're going to have a bedtime, how do you stick to it? Because I keep trying and then I keep convincing myself that it doesn't really matter this time, and next thing I know I've stayed up past midnight every night this week when I know perfectly well that I need eight hours of sleep to function.

    • LaxMom says:

      HERE for this. Cannot force myself to get up. GIrl missed bus this morning because I just kept snoozing and then the bus came 10 minutes early. I am going to have to bust a$$ this semester and I am evil in the morning and I cannot get the discipline going to fix it.

    • CleverManka says:

      I'm not the person to answer this bc I'm excruciatingly firm with myself when it comes to doing (or not doing) things that affect my health. I hope someone has helpful tips for you.

    • Absotively says:

      Routines work better than rules for me, at least for a while. I've been trying a new bedtime routine – some podcast + dishes and other mindless chores, avoid screens at any time after starting podcast, go to bed when podcast ends – and it hasn't been super smooth but it's working better than any "I will go to bed by x time" plan ever has.

      The podcasts are there in part because I enjoy them. I have a lot less resistance to stopping what I'm doing and starting a podcast than to stopping what I'm doing and brushing my teeth.

    • mowinda says:

      I'm more of a "I will start getting ready for bed at 9:30" rather than a "I will be in bed by 10:30/11" because I always think "it's still early!" if I use the second method and then will try to clean out my closets or finish a season of Cheers or something and before I know it it's midnight. So I try to stop what I'm doing in the 9/9:30 window and then just decide that nothing else gets done and I'm starting the bedtime routine and usually I get there within a good window.
      (Lately I have not being doing this so you know, do as I say, not as I do and all that)

      • jenavira says:

        Yeah, I did that for a long time (a couple of years, anyway) but lately it hasn't worked. 9:30 rolls around and I think, "but no, I want to keep doing the thing!" and then I'm still doing the thing at 1am. *sigh*

        • mowinda says:

          Yeah I have been having that problem lately too. I bet all those articles that talk about turning tvs and phones off and dimming lights etc in the hour before you sleep are probably helpful but that's SO BORING

          • jenavira says:

            Right? I AM A GROWNUP, the whole point of being a grownup is I get to stay up past my bedtime! (And suffer miserably the next day, I guess.)

    • littleinfinity says:

      goooooood question, I have no idea

    • Lynn says:

      I'm pretty disciplined when I want to be and I still can't manage a consistent bedtime. For me I think it's because I *have* to go to bed about two hours earlier than I *want* to go to bed so even when I'm trying to be good I dink around and wind up in bed an hour to 90 minutes later than planned. It also doesn't help that my boyfriend has the sleep schedule I actually want so he's always still up.

      Listening to podcasts on my way to bed has helped because it stops me from getting distracted reading/browsing the internet and also calms my mental monologue, but I still have to actually start the podcast and begin my getting ready for bed routine at the right time, which has been a struggle.

      • Absotively says:

        I've been listening to The Hidden Almanac lately. It's enjoyably weird and I find it less death-heavy than Night Vale. They usually do discuss a (fictional) saint who was martyred, but they're usually quite vague about how and it was generally a long time ago.

        More relevantly, episodes are only about five minutes long, so if I've procrastinated until I should be going to bed in only fifteen minutes, I can set up to listen to three episodes.

        • Lynn says:

          Oo thanks for the rec! Yeah Night Vale (and Lore) are a little too creepy for bedtime listening but "Hello from the Magic Tavern" is just about right so that sounds right up my alley.

    • Xolandra says:

      Yeah, i dunno. I love both entering and leaving my bed, and all of the things that happen in between. Sleep is, after all, where I am a pirate.

    • damngoodcoffee says:

      It's really hard. When I'm stressed I find it really hard to unwind, but if I'm busy enough during the day that makes it a little easier to get to bed on time. But yeah, when my mind is running like that I need to stay up and do mindless things for a while before I can go to bed. I think meditation would help, and I am still trying to stick with that, but haven't b/c the past week or so has been so completely busy. Which is no excuse. Basically things are all over the place right now and I'm not being good about sticking with rules at all. I keep telling myself that when things settle down a little I'll get back to it, but I'm going to have to pick a date for that to happen and then just do it, no matter what's going on (because how often do things 'settle down,' really?).

    • RoseCamelia says:

      Oh I know those struggles very well. Those who know me well know that I struggle to be kind to myself. But I am so angry that my childhood was deprived of kindness that I am motivated to work on it.

      So I reframe going to bed on time, for example, as something I do to be kind to myself. When I fuck up anyway, I ask myself how I would approach the situation were I responsible for long ago Little Rose. How would I give her the kindness of a consistent, appropriate bedtime? Would I let her ignore her best interests and blow off her bedtime?

      • jenavira says:

        As usual, Rose, you speak directly to my problem. *sigh* I had a childhood largely made up of benign neglect, where as long as I was physically in bed no one stopped me from reading all night long. I've mostly broken myself of that habit (bed is for sleeping, and for laying in before I get up on a lazy morning) but thinking of going to bed on time as doing a kindness for the Small Jen who was left to make her own mistakes without any guidance…well, I'll have to consider that.

    • Kazoogrrl says:

      Good. Damn. Question. I try to get stuff I have to do done on the front end of my evening (cook, pack lunches, etc.), then I can relax. I am learning that if I'm going to watch an episode of TV it cannot happen after 10, because then I can have bedtime around 11. Sometimes, I don't listen. I'm also trying to have less screen time at home at night, because suddenly whoops! A useless hour has gone by and I'd rather be reading/sewing/knitting/watching something/hanging on the porch/etc.

    • Lee Thomson says:

      stickers.

      truly. Little gold stars when I do what I know I should be doing but somehow am not, for a month or two or three, until it gets more routine.

      • Xolandra says:

        No, YOU have the best answers! I should go find myself little gold star stickers for remembering to take my multi-vitamin.

  13. Absotively says:

    So Saturday I saw my doctor and it turns out I need a follow-up test for a thing. I was a bit too surprised to ask a lot of questions, but I see him again on Friday. Or maybe tomorrow, I need to call and see if I can change the appointment. Thing sounds like it could potentially be quite bad. I am very worried and had trouble sleeping Saturday night, but I've fallen into a routine of alternately convincing myself I will handle bad news if it comes and distracting myself.

    Follow-up test isn't scheduled yet because he wanted me to call my insurance first and see if they'd cover having it done at a private clinic so I could get it a lot sooner. They won't, but I looked up the cost and I can afford to pay for it out of pocket, so I'll tell my doctor that. I'm blaming Ralph Klein for this, though to be fair it looks like the wait times in other provinces are just as bad.

  14. faintlymacabre says:

    In case anyone finds this useful, there is a kitty purr generator called Purrli, and I think it is the best thing ever.

    • CleverManka says:

      Yes! It's from the same person who does MyNoise.net (which I love). I've been setting up Purrli to run in the background of my naptime guided imagery sessions so when the voice and music stop, the quiet purr takes over. I'm actually lying down for that Right Now!

      • faintlymacabre says:

        I just started using it for sleeping. It reminds me of my dearly departed kitty, who would curl up by my shoulder at night and purr us into dreamland.

  15. jenavira says:

    Oh, and a personal update: Went to the gynecologist on Monday, she was very nice and very positive, the insurance company is being an absolute bastard but it sounds like I should be able to get an IUD in the week after my vacation, which should finally (finally!) do something about the whole "waking up in a puddle of blood once a month" business. In the meantime I'm taking a birth control pill, which I still have Conflicting Gender Feelings about, but with any luck it'll mean I won't get my period on the train on Sunday. Fingers crossed that the hormones do their jobs.

  16. Flitworth says:

    So we got (3) goats on Saturday and I got mermaid hair on Sunday. Tonight, husband is picking up a 2nd doeling that was pen-mates with the doe we already have as person who was going to buy her backed out and we think the herd will be a bit happier this way. We castrated one of the males ourselves. When I told the guys at work, they winced. It's really not bad, having seen tails docked, it's essentially the same and Sid is not showing any signs of discomfort (frankly, I'd be happier not having a giant sack of delicates swinging around my knees).

    Current doe is named Peach, Penny or Bunty depending on who you ask. Mostly white one is Sid, brown/white sandwich is Horacio. New doe name undecided if anyone has thoughts.

    TH had biofam visits yesterday, which is always a stressful time for us.
    Next week we are getting some work done on the house so that TH can move into a larger room, which is the foundation for taking on another TH at some point this calendar year.

    • CleverManka says:

      I'm still having charmed squees over the term "doeling." Feel free to continue sharing All The Pictures of them.

    • Lee Thomson says:

      second doe could be named another of Peach, Penny or Bunty, thus using a name you have chosen and making more of you correct when calling them?

      • Flitworth says:

        Looks like Penny and Pepper. TH suggested Banana for 2nd doe, a bridge too far. Since I mostly volunteer on working farms, the idea of naming them at all is a touch odd, even though these will essentially be pets.

    • RoseCamelia says:

      Malala is a very fine name, a very fine young woman.

    • Kazoogrrl says:

      Castrating your own goat, that's a level up in bad-ass-dom.

      • Xolandra says:

        Right? I feel like there should be an Eternal Scout patch for that.

      • LaxMom says:

        I have some very special memories of my ex when he walked up to see what i was doing at a 4H meeting, and blanched at the pile of testicles on the driveway. One of my favorite memories, that expression on his face.

    • LaxMom says:

      I don't mind the burdizzo, it's not that bad and the goats don't stay mad at you for very long. Just making sure you get the second testicle is tricky–it's easy to not-quite-complete it and then it's a problem later on.

      I also like that if guys really piss me off, I can tell them I have a burdizzo and I know how to use it.

      • Flitworth says:

        I just had to look burdizzo! eek! We used an "elastrator". I have a neighbor with goats and she kept the testicles from her goats briefly to disturb her husband. She does not yet know that she is my soul mate but it's evident to me.;)

  17. Lynn says:

    My pre-busy season anxiety is going to a whole new weird level this year — I'm now having anxiety insomnia on the last night of my weekend every week (I was blaming it on Game of Thrones but I took Monday off this week and slept fine Sunday night and not at all Monday night, so.) I'm not even sure at this point that it's related specifically to busy season and isn't more about waiting for the next crisis to blow up wherever that may be, with a healthy dose of new hire anxiety creeping in (I've never had a full time hire report to me before). It's also probably not helping that I didn't really have a vacation this summer and can't really take an extended vacation until Thanksgiving. (Thank all the deities that this is a no-travel Thanksgiving year for us.)

    I think I'm going to schedule myself a massage as a short term release (my neck and shoulders are so tight at this point I can barely turn my head to look at my shoulder). Writing it down here so maybe I will actually go do it.

    • CleverManka says:

      Oof. Insomnia is so terrible. I hope the massage helps and that you get relief waaay before Thanksgiving!

    • Lee Thomson says:

      That sounds utterly miserable and I am SO sorry – anxiety is miserable, insomnia is additional miserable, combined is utterly unfair. Here's hoping a massage helps loosen you up enough to turn your head and maybe sleep a little.

  18. Flitworth says:

    Shout out to all the self-care I'm seeing in these updates!

    <img src="https://media.giphy.com/media/xT8qBvaQSR3Lk0jLl6/giphy.gif"&gt;

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