Thursday Link Dump

Clever Manka, · Categories: Thursday Link Dump

I am ordering a handful of these stickers for myself. They’re available from this seller on Redbubble. Any locals who want to go in on the order with me, please let me know by noon on Friday.

Teen Vogue discusses women and white supremacy. Related is this article, published by a while woman this August-freaking-19th, on Life Lessons in Rust Belt Racism. A tiny part of me is like “better late than never” but are you kidding me lady? You’re just now cluing into this? Un. Real.

A podcast episode about the continued importance of gay bars.

The cultural appropriation of Buddhism.

I’m not going to knock mindfulness. It’s an incredibly important part of Buddhism to be present and intentional with your thoughts and actions. Really, mindfulness is a crucial part of living an ethical and good life.

However, when mindfulness and presence are used exclusively as ways to physically improve an individual person’s life, we’re missing the point of Buddhism.

I know a (white) dude who decided to become “a shaman” and claimed a Native-sounding name for himself despite absolutely zero interactions with actual Native people and the article touches on that racist and appropriative mentality as well.

To bring up an old favorite Toast topic: that stupid sexy fox from Disney’s Robin Hood showed up in a recent article on the CBC.

Another use for a time machine: The option to party with Baroness Elsa von Freytag-Loringhoven.

Baroness Elsa lived at the intersection of artistic movements brimming with urgency, intent, and all manner of weirdness. In Munich and Berlin, she was active in the arts and crafts movement, which she both drew from and inspired with her out-there, DIY fashion statements. When she first arrived in the United States in 1910, Elsa was arrested for walking down Fifth Avenue in Pittsburgh smoking a cigarette in a man’s suit. “She Wore Men’s Clothes,” ran a New York Times headline about her. As Nell Frizzell wrote of Elsa in the Guardian, “This was a woman…whose idea of getting gussied-up for a private view was to scatter her outfit liberally with flattened tin cans and stuffed parrots.” She walked 14th Street half-clothed, and recited poetry on city street corners with nothing but tea balls covering her breasts.

Unlearning the myth of American innocence (and rightness).

I tweeted this last week and someone found this relevant article about the basic sexism and misogyny behind online security questions.

I feel terrible for her and I’m not happy she suffered so horrifically by being with him, but I can’t lie and say Joss Whedon’s ex-wife’s recent article didn’t make me feel Pretty Fucking Vindicated about my hate-on for the man. Please be aware this is an ugly, ugly article. I’ve always said it wouldn’t surprise me if he was a gaslighter, an abuser, and a predator and I think her words show him to be all those things and possibly worse. Read with care if you have emotional issues about infidelity, lying, and other relationship betrayals. And if you have anything publishable that you’d like to say about the man and his work, there’s a zine for that and they’re currently accepting pitches.

Rachel Kaadzi Ghansah wrote a lengthy, torturous, and excellent piece on The Making of Dylann Roof for GQ magazine.

I had come to Charleston intending to write about them, the nine people who were gone. But from gavel to gavel, as I listened to the testimony of the survivors and family members, often the only thing I could focus on, and what would keep me up most nights while I was there, was the magnitude of Dylann Roof’s silence, his refusal to even look up, to ever explain why he did what he had done. Over and over again, without even bothering to open his mouth, Roof reminded us that he did not have to answer to anyone. He did not have to dignify our questions with a response or explain anything at all to the people whose relatives he had maimed and murdered. Roof was safeguarded by his knowledge that white American terrorism is never waterboarded for answers, it is never twisted out for meaning, we never identify its “handlers,” and we could not force him to do a thing. He remained inscrutable. He remained in control, just the way he wanted to be.

And so, after weeks in the courtroom, and shortly before Dylann Roof was asked to stand and listen to his sentence, I decided that if he would not tell us his story, then I would. Which is why I left Charleston, the site of his crime, and headed inland to Richland County, to Columbia, South Carolina—to find the people who knew him, to see where Roof was born and raised. To try to understand the place where he wasted 21 years of a life until he committed an act so heinous that he became the first person sentenced to die for a federal hate crime in the entire history of the United States of America.

A petition to replace a confederate monument with statue of Missy Elliott.

For anyone having “I don’t like you much right now” relationship issues.

Most intimate relationships begin with a degree of delight in responsiveness to each other. There is passionate connection and a willingness to be vulnerable, each to the limits of their own comfort and skill with vulnerability. Sometimes there is a discrepancy in those limits, or the responses aren’t what we anticipate or expect. Someone begins to push a little, and the recipient of the push resists, reacting or withdrawing; Harriet Lerner refers to versions of this dynamic as the “distancer/pursuer” dance, in which one might return the push with something that also stings the initiating partner. Little resistances, little jabs. Things our culture has taught us to shrug off, but not so much how to repair, become over time a pattern of behaviours that “encrust” the relationship so heavily that, as Taylor writes from his own experience, “its parts no longer close”.

I finally found another option for oxtails that goes just a hair beyond the usual oxtail soup. Now I need to find a way to get my (paternal)grandmother’s cast-iron dutch oven which is rightfully mine away from my mother…I mean, I have Grandma’s 1950s KitchenAid, rolling pin, cedar chest, and wedding ring. Surely it’s obvious she meant for me to get the dutch oven, too, right? RIGHT? I’ve been trying to figure out how to sneak the damn thing out of my parents’ house since 1990. I’m only joking a little.

 

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67 Responses to “Thursday Link Dump”

  1. Alluvial_Fan says:

    That Rachel Kaadzi Ghansah article is beautiful and brutal.

    • CleverManka says:

      Yes, an excellent description. Obviously it's horrible that the article needed to be written, but I'm glad she did it.

    • RoseCamelia says:

      "I thought I needed stories of vengeance and street justice, but I was wrong. I didn't need them for what they told me about Roof. I needed them for what they said about us. That in our rejection of that kind of hatred, we reveal how we are not battling our own obsolescence. How we resist. How we rise."

  2. Xolandra says:

    So many tabs open RN! But hells YES to a Missy Elliot Statue! The gold in that petition is "Hailing from humble beginnings as the only child of a power company dispatcher and a welder at Portsmouth's lauded naval shipyard, she rose to become a platinum recording artist with over 30-million albums sold," Coflin wrote. "All this without even once owning a slave."

    DYING

  3. vladazhael says:

    I have Grandma’s 1950s KitchenAid, rolling pin, cedar chest, and wedding ring.

    I have my great aunt's KitchenAid, cookie cutters, pasta maker, and vintage kitchen table and chairs, and also Grandma's cookie cutters and official Xmas cookie recipe, so yes, with my authority in this matter, I declare that dutch oven rightfully yours.

    I missed yesterday's thread entirely because I had to do a late night work presentation for an international customer, which sounds terrible, but it was actually a great day because:
    – I spent most of the day sewing and FINALLY finishing Hannibal.
    – I had a beer with lunch to celebrate a sewing milestone.
    – I rolled into work around 5 and left at 10 and I still get to call it a full day.
    – I got free dinner.
    – I got my big presentation recording assignment done and it was magnificent.
    – My boss all but ordered me to skip town for the holidays to see my manfriend and I will be booking that flight in a minute.
    – Said boss also told me to sleep in and take my time getting to work today, so I just got here.
    And now to plunge into what looks like a most excellent roundup…

    P.S. – I only don't have complex sexual feelings toward the red fox because I wanted to BE Robin Hood so badly that the thought of being with him didn't even occur to me.

    • CleverManka says:

      That is indeed an excellent day. You are welcome to vomit any Hannibal feels in my (or Kazoogrrl's) direction.

      ALSO I sent my mother that oxtail recipe and mentioned that someday I would like that dutch oven please. Apparently she rarely uses it anymore because it's too heavy for her so I said WELL THEN next time I'm visiting in a car (I usually fly) could I please bring it home with me. She…hasn't responded. Hmph.

    • Kazoogrrl says:

      Yes, I am here for any Hannibal feelings you may have!

      • vladazhael says:

        Honestly I'm just glad Will's dogs are okay. For some reason season 3 didn't grab me like the first two – possibly due to my weird viewing timeline – but I'm satisfied with how it all played out and that show is still several of the most visually beautiful things I've ever seen and overall I love it to pieces and yearn for its return.

        • Kazoogrrl says:

          A friend told me S3 was very gay, in Italy, and had Richard Armitage running around in his underwear, which I thought meant he was some sort of Italian pool boy? Boy was that wrong! S2 is the strongest for me, but S3 just goes off so many deep ends and gets so weird at points that it has its own charm.

          I am ever hopeful for S4.

        • CleverManka says:

          Season 3 and 4 are awkward and weird because they got cancelled a year before Fuller expected the show to end. He really wanted to end with the Red Dragon storyline so he basically squished what should've been been the third and fourth seasons into S3.

          Honestly I'm not sure I want it to return because I fucking LOVE the way it ended. And also there's a fic I really want to write based on that ending (and gods know if I'll have the energy to write it before the potential next season airs…).

    • Lee Thomson says:

      Ah!! I think you just put your finger on why I never found ANY of the Robin Hood(s) I've seen terribly compelling as companions. I loved Little John and Will Scarlett, but yes, I wanted to BE Robin Hood.

  4. Rillquiet says:

    Spitalfields Life has a beautiful obituary for the author's cat, Mr. Pussy. It's worth reading in its entirety, but here's an excerpt if anyone needs convincing:

    "For sixteen years, through the travails of my life, my cat Mr Pussy was with me. When my mother died, he consoled me. When I sold my childhood home and left, he travelled with me. When I walked all night through the streets of London on Christmas Eve, he waited for my return. When I broke my arm and lay alone in bed shivering, he was beside me. Writing is a solitary activity but, as I sat working each day, through the long hours and the years, he was always at my side as a calm and patient presence. I could never be lonely while he was here.

    "I realise now that he was always in the periphery of my vision and, even now that he is gone, he remains in the margin of my sight. It will be a while before he fades from my familiar expectation. I hear sounds in the house and attribute them to him without thinking. Thanks to the reflex of my unconscious recognition, any deep shadow or dark shape I spy transforms itself into him. Even now, I expect him to enter the room or to come upon him in any of his familiar spots. Yet he is not here any more and his favourite places are vacant. Returning last night, I could not rest at home and left to wander the streets for an hour instead to calm my troubled spirits. The house had never felt so empty."

  5. jenavira says:

    Religious cultural appropriation, let me yell about it! (Although a lot of the techniques of mindfulness are not exclusive to Buddhism, the Buddhist flavor of mindfulness training (and the general Western view of Buddhism as "spiritual atheism") is for sure A Problem.) I have a book out from the library right now about shamanism, because I so wanted it to be good, but it's by a white anthropologist and the way he writes about the African shamans he knew is just…ugh. (And that's without even getting into the usage of the word "shaman" and all its layers of implications.) Still haven't decided if I'm gonna finish it just to write a scathing review or not

    • Doc_Paradise says:

      Scathing reviews are good. They warn others.

    • Kazoogrrl says:

      This reminds me of reading years ago about how the Dali Lama has said that Westerners are welcome to Tibetan Buddhism but he doesn't understand why they'd be into it because it's so specific to a certain culture/people/place/etc. Which then reminds me of how Christianity is a Middle Eastern belief system.

    • vladazhael says:

      My (white as can be) early college boyfriend referred to himself unironically as 95% Christian and 5% Buddhist and also had only ever dated Asian girls before me and I don't even have a punchline for all that; I'm just going to leave it here for everyone to gag at.

    • CleverManka says:

      Seconding Doc_Paradise on Scathing Review (whether you finish or not, imo it's fine to review any book you read at least 1/3 of).

  6. Kazoogrrl says:

    I had basically the same stupid conversation about Whedon and his feminism with two different men yesterday, one of them on a group for geeky social justice types, which just reinforced my conviction that we need to continue to reexamine and question his output.

    • Xolandra says:

      I just… the entire premise of a 300+ y.o. vampire falling in love with a 13 y.o. WHO IS DESTINED TO KILL HIM BEFORE HE EVER TALKS TO HER?

      No. Grown-assed adult men who are "feminists" should recognize that garbage for the predatorial, paedophilic crap it is. #harrumph

    • damngoodcoffee says:

      At this point I'm kind of like, who is still surprised by this? I mean, there have been signs for a while, but after his Wonder Woman script leaked, I felt like it finally became more socially acceptable to be like 'let's not just assume Whedon is a paragon of feminism, mmkay?'

      I mean, IMO the issue in this latest grossness is the hypocrisy (and the levels of mansplaining, according to her quotes from him) more than just the cheating itself. But yeah, Buffy will always be super special to me, but that show also was so, so far from perfect, and was not some timeless feminist masterpiece. What was considered progressive then is quite dated now, and the fact that Joss never seemed to take any criticism to heart/learn from his mistakes is finally catching up with him.

      • Flitworth says:

        Do you think part of the ex-wife's timing was that she didn't want to go up against Paragon Whedon and the WW script was part of the groundwork that gave this truth more traction?

        • damngoodcoffee says:

          I don't know, honestly; maybe fortune just worked in her favor on this; I definitely can't imagine publishing anything so publicly against him considering how devoted a good portion of his fanbase has been.

      • CleverManka says:

        I'm certainly not surprised by it but I can't lie and say I'm not really fucking gratified because I've felt like this about him for yearssssss.
        <img src="https://media.tenor.com/images/7a04309bae1da3c4e7872b2ac4c37b6a/tenor.gif"&gt;

        • damngoodcoffee says:

          Oh absolutely. I got so sick of how quickly people would come to his defense, and of how willfully blind he seemed to be to any and all criticism. And I think Captain Holt would agree, anyway. 🙂 And actually, I feel like I am a little surprised by just how mansplain-y he was to Kai, but I also haven't heard him speak in interviews in a really, really long time, so.

        • Xolandra says:

          I never had strong opinions about Whedon – I came to Buffy late so it was always already creepy.

          But I know the vindication you feel, because I hated Ghomeshi for, like, a decade before his fall from grace and it took literally every morsel of self-control to not post "I TOLD YOU ASSHOLES SO" to every social media account I have. Never in my life have I tasted more delicious schadenfreude.

  7. Kazoogrrl says:

    Oh, a link for you all that's a New Yorker review of a fanfic anthology
    http://www.newyorker.com/books/page-turner/the-pr

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