Friday Open Thread

Clever Manka, · Categories: Open Thread

I have watched more compilations of Carlton dancing than I have episodes of this show. 

I thought I had bought tickets to see Tank and the Bangas tomorrow but when I realized I didn’t have the energy to go and wanted to sell my spaces (I didn’t have paper tickets, just reservations through Will Call) neither the venue nor the ticket vendor had a record of my purchase. A check of my credit card history shows the same. Glad I didn’t drive to Kansas City for a sold-out show that I didn’t actually buy tickets for.

What tricks has your memory played on you, lately?







154 Responses to “Friday Open Thread”

  1. CleverManka says:

    Details about my library help-desk incident in a reply.

    • CleverManka says:

      When I went to lie down for my nap on Tuesday, I opened Chrome on my phone to access the guided meditations. Because my tabs re-open, the screen that came up was the online catalog page for the book I'd tried to check out on Monday, only to discover it couldn't be found. The page said one copy on hold (there was one other copy which was checked out). I thought I'd call the library to make sure I hadn't placed a hold on a lost book and that the book (and hold) actually existed.

      Mary Lynn answered the phone (of course she has a name like that) and said she'd look it up for me and could she have my library card number? Now, I was lying in bed and my library card was downstairs in my wallet so I asked her if she could look it up by name. "Well, in a perfect world you'd have your card number but I can look that up by your name." Like, look, asshole, in a perfect world I wouldn't be lying in bed from fatigue but I'm making do, so can you. Jesus.

      Mary Lynn said yes, the book was indeed on hold for me. I explained (again) that my concern was that I'd been in to pick up the book Monday but neither I nor the help desk person had been able to find it, either on the shelf or in the to-be-shelved carts, and I just wanted to make sure the book was actually there and the hold hadn't been placed on a lost book.

      Mary Lynn then read to me the different fields on her screen (???) and explained the process for how the system handles holds–that when the system prints out the hold slip, it also emails the person requesting. I said I hadn't received an email (I didn't get one until the next day) and really, all I wanted to do was confirm that the hold was legitimate and not on a lost book because if that was the case I'd like to put the hold on the book that was checked out instead.

      Mary Lynn (I think still not understanding my actual query) was getting impatient by this point and said (these were her actual words–I wrote them down because I couldn't believe she said them) "Because I'm a darn nice guy, I'll look to see if it's in the hold area."

      A DARN NICE GUY WHAT THE FUCK? Like, that is nice of you, and maybe they found the book and it's there but that isn't actually what I was asking in the first place and at this point I just want to hang up but I said "….thanks?" with the biggest intoned question mark I could muster.

      Turns out the book was there (their email system needs some refining for real) and I went to get it on Wednesday and it turned out to be absolutely useless but what the fuck, Mary Lynn. What. The. Fuck.

      And yeah, I wrote a letter to the library with the details (you better believe I included Mary Lynn's name) suggesting they provide mandatory customer service training for their help desk staff because that was un-fucking-real.

      • Kazoogrrl says:

        Mary Lynn needs to learn the difference between her inside (her head) voice and her outside (running her mouth) voice.

      • damngoodcoffee says:

        People like Mary Lynn are the reason that patrons are afraid of approaching librarians with questions. I used to get people at the public library reference desk apologizing to me for bothering me, when I was literally sitting there waiting for their questions. And it's all because of people (like Mary Lynn) who refuse to understand that front-facing library jobs are public, customer-service positions. Don't do it if you don't want to actually serve the public in any capacity! Good lord.

        My sister had an incident at a library recently where the librarian at the circ desk accused her of getting water on a book, when my sister was returning it in the first place b/c it had extensive water damage (before she took it out) and she couldn't read it. But yeah, your first impulse should definitely be to make baseless accusations towards the patron. It just makes me mad b/c I feel like the whole point of my job is working with the patrons and serving them, and this is such a bad example of that.

        ANYWAY, so sorry you had to deal with that, and ITA re: customer service training.

        • CleverManka says:

          As a friend of mine said when I told her about it, bad librarians are THE WORST.

          • m vasterling says:

            Bad librarians sound like the worst. Good librarians, who in my +60 years of living and reading have shared a reader's love of books and outweigh this bad one. Yeah, she shouldn't be working there. You are justifiably annoyed with this: imagine a young person or a new adult reader being faced with this kind of negativity.

      • jenavira says:

        What?? "I'm so nice I'll do my job (while simultaneously whining at you about it" what the actual fuck, that is unacceptable.

      • meat_lord says:

        Ughhhh. How thoroughly unpleasant. There's nothing I hate more than people who can't or won't answer one's actual question, and everything else is just icing on the crap cake.

      • Heathered says:

        Ugh, it's funny how something that should be so simple and innocuous can turn thermonuclear when people combine incompetence with that weird, Teflon-coated cluelessness. It's rare for my blood to run hot but those kind of interactions really get me worked up.

        • CleverManka says:

          RIGHT? I mean, I've always had a short fuse but these days I go zero to sixty in like half a second (which is 100% counter-productive to my goal of "rest" I know I know). After I hung up the phone I lay there thinking Mary Lynn is Real Fucking Lucky that I am this tired/sick because otherwise I'd have been down at the library complaining in person, immediately.

          • Flitworth says:

            The internet allows for a range of revenges that don't require leaving the bed….
            I used to sign people up for the Book of Mormon when I was doing shifts in the comp lab in college.

      • RoseCamelia says:

        Um. Excuse me, friend. Weren't you complaining you lacked the wherewithal to write these days? This is good writing. Has a driving force and an enticing scent. I hope it means you're feeling a bit better once in a while.

    • CleverManka says:

      Oh my GOD y'all, the emails listed on the library website DON'T WORK. I just tried (twice!) and got bounces.

  2. Kazoogrrl says:

    A customer said I never called her yesterday (on her cell!) to confirm a shipment but I did, so the passive aggressive email was sent by me this morning. Other than that, I put a steaming basket of veggie straight on the gas burner TWICE, but J caught me and averted disaster.

    Last night I went home and poured a whiskey and cold apple cider (it was 89F here) before I even thought about dinner. Thur night has become my "have a drink and chill" evening, with yesterday's work exhaustion adding to it. Hey, I did catch that a coworker shipped a $14,000 shipment with NO PAYMENT on it, and managed to get it taken care of before I left the office. *headdesk*

  3. Absotively says:

    I have a very slight cough. It's slight enough that I would feel silly taking a sick day, but I don't want to share it, so I'm working from home today. Did the same yesterday, for the same reason.

    It's lovely. It's very quiet, except for the soft hum of my humidifier, and no one can interrupt me, and I made an entire pot of tea to drink with honey. I got more done yesterday than the first three days of this week combined, I think.

    I may not be here as much as usual until this evening, due to actually doing more work.

  4. Doc_Paradise says:

    My memory has been good lately (I think) but my words were getting muddled last night and I found myself repeating and almost stuttering.

    I'm taking my passport application to the passport office this afternoon. I think I have everything in order. Yay! I think travelling is actually going to happen.

    I'm also reading "Gender Outlaws" and HOLY FUCK I'm glad I bought this book.

    PS: The short series web show "The Booth on the End" has a second season. I just discovered this (youtube). I loved the first season.

  5. Lee Thomson says:

    My memory is ok, I think? But I am having issues with boring dreams seeming perfectly reasonable and then remembering them as though they happened. Nothing exciting though – using the actual landline phone instead of all cells all the time, arguments with my mother.

    I am reading tarot cards, one every day, and they have been telling me to scale back, take a break and not commit myself. So I am resting on my boat laurels, and starting an endless series of small works that might turn into tarot cards themselves.

    • jenavira says:

      I am excited to see what you come up with for tarot cards! (No pressure implied or intended, just excitement.)

    • CleverManka says:

      I love your tarot card project idea. Like I said before, I'm not into them as divination tools, but am a huge fan of beautiful symbolism in art and Tarot has that in (heh) spades. I look forward to seeing what comes of that project!

      *adds possible tarot-inspired collage art cards to someday-projects*

    • Fancy_Pants says:

      I've only ever gotten a reading once, but I found it really useful to get a fresh perspective. Boat! was a big project, it sounds like scaling back a bit and enjoying the warm glow of satisfaction is a great idea.

      Also interested to see what art comes out of it! I love the idea of using them as creative prompts.

    • Heathered says:

      Resting on your boat laurels sounds like it might be kind of pokey, but I love that phrase. Hope you're having a good bday week, and I too am jazzed to hear you're working on a tarot-y project! I dip in and out with the cards, but plan to do a year to come reading today just to see where things are at.

  6. Lynn says:

    Oof, guys, it's been a week. I was really in the dumps all last weekend (my stress insomnia spread to Saturday night — it's very unusual for it to kick in on a non-work night) and I think I just never fully recovered from a number of work events last week that required me to spend all my extrovert energy while I was simultaneously trying to juggle my biggest deadlines of the work year. Our COO took one look at me on Monday morning and sent me home — I also negotiated for a work from home day Tuesday and just having a quiet day to work (I even turned my email off for chunks of the day) helped me recharge quite a bit.

    Then Wednesday I came back to work and got to listen to a straight white man chew me out for 30 minutes (by phone – WTF is up with us and nasty phone call this week?)because he felt underappreciated and basically wanted special treatment that no one at my org can promise him (I can't go into full details about why but trust me it's as stupid and petty as it sounds). I had so little patience left that I basically just didn't say anything other than basic facts about why I couldn't give him what he wanted — which I think will be my strategy from now on, because refusing to perform any emotional labor at all for his whiny ass actually seemed to make him start to realize mid-conversation that his ranting was inappropriate and pointless.

    And yet — I've accomplished a shit ton of work this week AND we officially hired a new assistant AND my promotion got announced and I got some really nice congrats from my coworkers. So maybe I can make it through the remaining month of my hell period without a complete nervous breakdown.

    • damngoodcoffee says:

      I always overestimate how much extrovert energy I can expend, because at work I do like to interact with different people, but I have definite limits, and my immune system went to hell after our busier-than-usual start of term this year.

      I'm so sorry you had to listen to some entitled asshat, and hope you at least have people at work to commiserate with. Congrats on all the good work things, though, and I hope things get a bit easier now.

    • CleverManka says:

      Giving bare bones info to unpleasant people is such a great strategy. I use it all the time at my job.

      Crossing my fingers you avoid the breakdown. Come on, end of work hell period!!!

    • Heathered says:

      Egads that's a lot to contend with. I hope you hit the down-slope soon and get some wind in your hair.

    • jenavira says:

      Oof, that kind of overextended is no fun. High five for the "no emotional labor" strategy, though – it's terrific, isn't it, when you find something that not only makes it easier on you but actually works?

      • Lynn says:

        It was kind of amazing. I get flustered on the phone easily anyway and so usually end up rambling and overexplaining, but I have NO patience for BS right now (and it became clear quickly that nothing short of telling him we would circumvent pages of bylaws to give him what he wanted would make him happy) so I just didn't say anything and let him spin his wheels.

  7. meat_lord says:

    Hello everyone! I am going to a protest tonight, the prospect of which is stressing me tf out. Seems like the right thing to do, though, so… going anyway.

    What else is up?…. Well, the run of good mental health I was bragging about last week ran out. Alas. I'm still more or less ok, but my executive function has taken quite the hit. I also think I've made it past the main adjustment period for [job role]. Things are more manageable for various reasons, not least of which is the fact that I got oversaturated with anxiety and stopped…caring, lmao.

    I'm super glad that the weekend is tomorrow.

  8. damngoodcoffee says:

    So freaking glad it's Friday. On day 4 of nasal spray, and my congestion is currently causing me throat and (ugh) ear pain. So that's fun. At least I have six meetings today! (That's not even really sarcasm – they do make the day go by faster).

    I finished watching the latest season and BoJack Horseman and yay to ace representation! It makes me simultaneously sad (how different would my adolescence have been if this level of awareness was around then?) and overjoyed (the representation itself was pretty excellent; like, they actually used the word. It was awesome).

    This weekend I will be resting and staying hydrated and doing a lot of nothing. I think both The Good Place and B99 came back this week, so I need to catch up on those as well.

    Also, after reading the ideas from fellow Manka-ites on the autumnal ritual post, I definitely plan to do something to mark the first day of fall, even if it's just burning a candle and sitting and reflecting.

    • CleverManka says:

      Congestion is wretched. Your mention of it made me check in with my own state and I notice that yes, I probably should have taken a Sudafed this morning so I'm going to see if I have any squirreled away here at the office. Thank you! Hope yours gets better soon.

      • damngoodcoffee says:

        Thank you! This is just a totally new thing for me; previously when I've had any reactions to environmental allergens they would be brief and more having to do w/sinus headaches/pressure. This throat/ear thing is really ticking me off. But I'm assuming it'll become at least marginally easier once I get some tactics down to actually deal with it in the future.

    • damngoodcoffee says:

      The Ruthie-Princess Carolyn episode about killed me. Agreed about the season ending, though.

  9. jenavira says:

    Yesterday kind of fell apart underneath me, not least because therapy involved more crying, this time more draining and less of a relief, and also weekend plans were cancelled because my friend's grandmother died (and it was that friend's birthday we were getting together to celebrate). Also it's still 93 degrees here, which is insane, it should not be that hot this late in September.

    But the weather is supposed to break next Wednesday, so I am preparing to settle in and do some serious nesting in the next few weeks. I've dug out my copy of Home Comforts to finish reading, I'm making a list of baking I want to do, and I'm considering buying a prorated CSA share to get the last of the fall harvest. (It's probably way too many vegetables. But it's also tomato season! I'm torn.)

  10. Räven says:

    I am working today! Yay!
    For a new client! Yay!
    A client who has had me hard-reserve four days that did not materialize into work, and come through with two days of work on days we hadn't actually even talked about putting on hold. Oy. :-/
    (I'm glad of the work and basically not complaining at all, I swear, but obviously the four unpaid holds were NOT GREAT and heaven forfend I actually have other work when he calls next time.)

    The cat has outgrown his gratitude at being rescued from coyotes and brought to a nice home. This morning at six AM he was screaming at me as if the place was on fire, because…. the food he decided not to eat last night was no longer fresh. Plenty of food but not like he likes it. Oh. It was quite dark at six and I am very very tired now.

    I saw Juana Molina in concert this week! The show was much more hardcore than I'd expected from the videos I'd seen. Also she is older than me but looks wayyyyy better than me, which seems unfair. But she was great, it was great.

    I'm really excited about fall. I feel better and busier and more alive, I'm getting more done, drifting less; it's really great. I know a lot of folks who have hard times with winter but I have the opposite wiring. There's nothing I like about summer except the fruit, really.

  11. faintlymacabre says:

    This was a few years ago, but after my fiance's dog died, I would forget to feed my dog. Fiance's dog was such a chow hound (pun intended), that she would determinedly sprawl out in front of her bowl around feeding times and without that visual reminder, I would just forget. My poor dog! It was only a couple of times before I caught on, but… oops.

  12. Fancy_Pants says:

    RoseCamelia, I made my happy list! Well, I started it. I intend to keep adding to it as ideas come to me, especially simple ones that I can do anytime/anywhere.

    Things that make me feel happy (or at least better): playing guitar & singing, sketching, talking to my best girlfriend on the phone, walking with my partner, easy yoga poses (child's pose & the reclining spine twist one), lying on the floor underneath my big houseplants, riding my bike

    Does anyone else have a happy list?

  13. Heathered says:

    Memory is okay, but I have a tiny edge of giddiness a lot of the time that may be due to meds? Trying a new one next week–I'm OK being giddy, but not so much with being asleep or in the bathroom for so much of every day, so we'll see. After early a.m. psych appt., I went and got the rainbow-sprinkliest doughnut in the case and slipped a tiny bit of caff into my decaf because it's my goddamn birthday and that only seemed right.

  14. littleinfinity says:

    This would have been perfect for link dump but I didn't have it yesterday so TOO BAD, you are getting this gem today. (Title is: I’M DIANA FROM ANNE OF GREEN GABLES AND I AM FUCKING DRUNK)

  15. Xolandra says:

    Memory? What is a memory? Who even remembers anything? What is a remember? Honestly, pregnant humans are often like "O, haha, mommy brain", but my memory has legitimately been getting worse and worse as I age which probably has lots to do with the amount of weed I smoke but may also just be age related. I write basically everything down these days.

    GentlemanX comes home Sunday! And I have laid surprise plans for his return; I'm renting a car and taking a day and I will pick him up at the airport so that he doesn't have to cab home and then maybe there will be a nice meal and some beers that he likes and then the next day an errand before heading off the the Gatineau hills for a hike! And I have told him none of this so I hope he's in the mood for a surprise ^_^

    Also today: one of the garbage fire untrustworthy men I know is attempting to get me alone and I am tired of shenanigans and straight up said "no" so we'll see if I just lost a friend. I rather suspect that I have. This is both disappointing and not, because ALL MEN CONTINUE TO BE GARBAGE FIRES. (#notallmen, of course)

    Music? This here is prodigiously good New York based metal. No screams or growls, just sax:

    • CleverManka says:

      I hope GentlemanX loves the surprise! It sounds lovely.

      But also, BAN MEN.

      • Xolandra says:

        Men. Ze literal worst. Also, the selection of available .gifs that are returned for a Ban Men search at giphy is PATHETISAD

    • Kazoogrrl says:

      I can't tell if my memory is going or if I'm just choose to remember less? Because the stuff I forget is the daily humdrum of life, while important things stick around.

      • Xolandra says:

        I'm the other way. I will accurately remember what I ate for lunch last Tuesday, but forget that my new acquaintance has already told me where he came from, and then have the same conversation all over again.

        • Kazoogrrl says:

          I have a block about some info. I can't keep my podcasting partner's school/where she lived history correct, for some reason. Birthdays and ages? Sorry folks, I can usually get the season, sometimes the month. And everyone is perpetually the age they were when I met them.

  16. LaxMom says:

    I drove an hour into university circle for an appointment, realized by the time I got there I'd need time to park and was running late, called 2x through the answering system to end up leaving a message that I would be late, parking was hell as predicted and left me a 10 minute walk through the hospital maze to get to the thyroid appointment that I have been waiting 6 weeks for, but they had automatically canceled me and can't see me until halloween. I cannot make it until halloween, I am scraping the barrel in terms of surviving on the wrong dose till today, I immediately started crying in the office and of course the appointment was at noon and completely ruined any chances of getting work done before or after. That doctor was like, my 12th choice after the main hospital in town fired my insurance company, and I'm screwed. I'm fucking shaking from exhaustion and anger and crying (for over an hour now, that drive home was not fun). FML.
    Yesterday the kids had off school and I set aside the day to not go into campus and Teenboy's friend (who is a freshman at my school and has mental health issues) was having a crisis and her mom took the little sis to visit and check in, and then called me so instead of the nice sunny day with teengirl riding bikes or something I ended up driving in to campus anyway, talking the mom down, being a support team, and driving teengirl and little sis back home without getting anything done either.
    I am completely wiped out, I am barely functioning, and I have to, have to, it's not optional, pick up some sort of other job because I have been running in the red since Feb. I don't know how that will even be humanly possible if I don't get my fucking thyroid meds fixed, and it cannot wait until fucking halloween. I'm going back to bed to cry.

  17. Rillquiet says:

    I spontaneously and entirely forgot my phone's four-digit PIN while on vacation, and since my maps, airline info, and AirBnB reservation were all on there AND it's my backup for two-factor identification on the corresponding email accounts, that was suboptimal. I ended up losing some data but less than I'd feared. It was aggravating as hell and I wouldn't recommend it, but on the up side I've gotten very good about backing the silly thing up every week.

  18. mowinda says:

    Totally off topic but I listened to this week's Dear Prudence podcast (the free one) and I know that's not how it works but I want Lindy West as a permanent co-host

  19. pseudonymica says:

    I keep accruing comical stories about memory problems but I can't remember any of them.

    I have been in bed with a viciously bad cold the last few days. I've barely spoken a word because my throat is too sore. Meanwhile pseudostepson has to go to a doctor RIGHT NOW because he has "a sharp pain in his throat when he swallows" and I'm just like, how is he articulating all of those unnecessary words if his throat hurts so bad?!

    I tried to dissuade him from rushing out to spread and catch germs at a doctor's office, but (a) my throat hurts too much to talk much and (b) I started sinking into the quicksand of Wicked Stepmother guilt. So whatever.

  20. LaxMom says:

    small update for those who would like space laser targets: I have been getting phone calls and emails saying that I didn't fill out the "paperwork" for the kids at the beginning of the schoolyear (which is now all online). I tried yesterday to do so, to find out that "your child is already attached to another parent account". Why systems for schools STILL insist on having a primary parent attached to the children, and why after 6 years of fixing this same mistake every year, I still have to do so, I was able to get the kids attached to MY name and not their dad's. He had rushed to fill out Teenboy's stuff (probably because it was a part of applying for parking at the HS). He totally did NOT fill out any of Teengirl's stuff. Do we need any more proof that she doesn't exist in his world? It literally would have required a drop-down menu click and clicking the "fill in with sibling info" box.
    As petty revenge I removed his gf's name from the "allowed to pick up kids" list (it's not a big deal with a driving kid, and if something happens that he is so sick or injured someone has to come get him, she is not allowed any say over my kid's health, so she doesn't need permission to come get him at school.) I especially liked deleting the word "stepmom".
    Also, Teenboy just stopped by, dad is not allowing the (very quiet, very not messy) parrot at his house.

  21. meat_lord says:

    Protest update: Just learned that the ex-friend with whom I have All The Baggage has unilaterally decided that they're going to join the 2 other people I was going with tonight, and if I don't like it then I can fuck off, I guess?

    I knew we'd eventually have to interact again, but I really would have preferred that it happen at a less high-stakes event, and with fewer hostile overtones.


    • LaxMom says:

      THAT sucks. I'd be very tempted to use all the "anti Ex-friend" vibes to channel into my protesting, and to use the protest excuse as a reason to be "accidentally" brusque, cold, and ignoring of the ex-friend. "oh, it's not you, it's just the situation, bless your heart". Be safe!!!!

      • meat_lord says:

        Thanks, I'll try to be safe 😛

        I have managed to completely ignore this person in a very small dive bar a few times already… I suspect I'll be forced to actually talk to them this time. I'm not ready for that, but I'm gonna have to dig up some extra fortitude from somewhere.

        • Flitworth says:

          Nah, friend. What you gotta do is just make shit up and talk about it a lot. Pick something inconsequential and just dive the fuck in and act like you can't imagine a world where this person doesn't want to hear about it. Be open, be loving, act like you are giving them a gift.

          It's so good to see you! I just read The Secret for like the tenth time and I was thinking that it would be so cool to share thoughts on it.

          Man, it's been forever! Did so-and-so catch you up on my new Shakeology business? I feel like a million bucks, I bet you could use a boost!

          Time flies! Speaking of flies, I got into fly-fishing and now I'm making my own lures. Did you know that a squiddly-whatsit #42 is good for trout and empty beer cans? I have some pics on my phone somewhere hang on….

      • meat_lord says:

        Protest went well–and surprisingly, so did interacting with Ex-Friend. We were both totally civil and even shared a few wisecracks over the course of the evening. (Honestly, I was really thrown by it… All the old, fond feelings came back and it was super confusing.)

  22. Flitworth says:

    Who is ready to get their GOOP hate on?!
    During the Guardian’s visit, all Goop’s customers were slender white women, save the toddler, who seemed destined to become one.

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