Thursday Link DumpClever Manka, · Categories: Thursday Link Dump
Happy Thanksgiving, US-ians.
I think this article is telling me I’m probably a jerk.
Are you surrounded by fools and non-entities, by people with bad taste and silly desires, by boring people undeserving of your attention, by people who can be understood quickly by applying a broad and negative brush—creeps, stuck-up snobs, bubbleheaded party kids, smug assholes, and, indeed, jerks?
If this is how the world regularly looks to you, then I have bad news. Likely, you are the jerk.
A story about a reformed bully who becomes a Buddhist monk. I wasn’t sure about this article (two white dudes, Southwest Magazine?) but I’m glad I gave it a chance because thought it was really good.
At a friend’s wedding around that time, I ran into one of our elementary school teachers, the woman who’d taught me and Jeff to do fractions and write in cursive. We chatted for a bit, and Jeff’s name came up. “I’ve worked with a lot of kids over the years,” she said, “and you can see who they are at their core by the time they get to my class. I don’t buy his ‘peace and love’ stuff one bit.”
If you’re more than the garden variety jerk or bully and have crossed the line into sexually abusive behavior, Ijeoma Oluo has advice for you.
There is a path forward, past denial and scandal and shame. There is a path to genuinely being the better person that you want to be. I’m writing this sincerely. I’m writing this because sexual abuse and assault is so very common in our society that chances are, someone I know and love and respect is reading this and knowing that they are guilty. I’m writing this because if we don’t find a way forward, this will keep happening. Even if you never harass or abuse or assault another human being again: If you don’t try to make this right, this will keep happening and you will have helped to enable it.
Celebrity Apology Generator.
Someone sent this piece with Titus Burgess singing Poor Unfortunate Souls but it was the article that queued up right after it that made me go wait, what? This movie looks like it will chew me up and spit me out but I want to see it so hard.
In case you missed this link in Friday’s OT, non-binary folks might want to check out Dara Hoffman’s YouTube channel.
The Case for Disappointing Men.
There are very real implications in disappointing those privileged over oneself, and for Black women doubly so. Black women who disappoint societal standards are swiftly condemned, and often face severe repercussions. Black wives who prioritize personal needs are blamed for their husband’s transgressions. Black mothers who prioritize personal needs are seen as failing at the role. Black women who deviate from or reject the route of marriage and/or children are blamed for everything perceived to be wrong with “the Black community.” To be an LGBTQ Black woman is to be always in danger for not being what cishet men expect of them. And disappointed white women’s requests for the manager have cost many Black women their livelihood.
Nicole plans to revive “If X Were Your Y” on the Two Bossy Dames tinyletter, so you might want to consider subscribing if you’re not already. She included “If Armie Hammer Were Your Boyfriend” as a bonus for last week’s subscribers, so check out that back issue if he’s your thing.
A couple fandom things: EFNICKS talks about about queer & trans people of color in geek culture and academia for their November issue and NPR has been running a series called Fandoms: Identities Shaped By The Things We Love.
This movie theater in Queens converted to a church OH MY GOD.
I had heard of Redneck Revolt but I didn’t realize the founder was from my town. Lawrence Fucking Kansas, y’all.