Tuesday Tumblr Collection

Clever Manka, · Categories: Tuesday Tumblr

This week’s Tumblr collection is Tuesday, December 12: Moose.


clevermankaI’ve posted a weekly themed collection on my Tumblr nearly every week since October, 2011. Someday I’ll compile a list of them, with links to the dates. That day is not today.

24 Responses to “Tuesday Tumblr Collection”

  1. vladazhael says:

    THE MAJESTIC MOOSE.

    I could steer into the Monty Python reference that grips me every time I see a moose, but instead I have a legitimate story. Back in the late 70s, my parents and some of their friends went on a backpacking trip to Isle Royale, in northern Michigan. (Technically in Lake Superior north of the upper peninsula of Michigan, but still Michigan territory, despite being closer to both Canada and Minnesota.) One morning, my dad and a couple other guys went jogging along the beach. They were all spaced out a bit, and the guy in the lead disappeared past a bit of brush, only to emerge seconds later hauling ass in the other direction. He passed by the other guys without explanation, and they, curious, continued on into the brush. They came face to face with a juvenile moose happily grazing in the morning sunshine, with its mother nearby. They turned around and ran in the other direction as well, soon overtaking the first guy in their haste.

    • Flitworth says:

      This is the real reason men have a lower life expectancy. Also why it's always the dude in a horror film who says 'let's split up'.

  2. Rillquiet says:

    I WANT A WAR MOOSE oh Santa I've been ever so good.

    Another moosetale: I did a field school in Alaska one summer and heard about an Incident from a previous summer's class. The digs were usually well out in the bush, so the crew would set up tents a few hundred yards from the site, usually out of visibility. One evening, one guy came back to find his tent slashed to shreds, as though someone had taken a machete to it. They quickly sussed out that it couldn't have been bears, so it must have been a moose, either a grouchy bull or a cow separated from her calf, that saw the tent as an enemy and stomped it to tatters. The organizer had wisely packed a spare tent against emergencies, so the guy used that for the rest of the dig. On returning to civilization, he sent the remains of his tent–flinders of shockrods, scraps of canvas–to the manufacturer with a letter explaining that, while he did not expect the tent to be moose-proof, it had been expensive and would it be possible to repair it. The manufacturer contacted him, cackling, and said that they would be happy to send him a new replacement in gratitude for the entertainment value.

    It was a nervewracking summer for those of us new to the ways of the bush.

  3. Xolandra says:

    The Canadian regionalization DLC for Nyan Cat looks amazing. DYING

    O HAI ARE WE SHARING MOOSE STORIES? Mine is about the slaughter of a moose, and therefore I shall share in a comment.

    • Xolandra says:

      So once upon a time, while GentlemanX was working up north, someone on the crew bagged a moose. So GenlemanX, at the end of his day processing data, leaves his tent and stretches up to the full moon and starry sky above. There he is met by colleague1, who tells him that colleague2 is in the other tent, slaughtering a moose, and if GentlemanX wants his share, he should head over there.

      So GentlemanX wanders over, and opens the other tent door to be bombarded with Rob Zombie on the stereo, red light illuminating the tent, a joint passed by a human helping/keeping colleague2 company, and colleague 2 standing on a moose carcass with a smoke hanging from his mouth. Said colleague yelled "Hey, whaddya want, some ribs maybe?" and proceeds to carve off a few ribs for him.

      • CleverManka says:

        What a glorious image!

        I knew a woman who ran a B&B targeted at hunters and she said moose flesh was one of the worst smelling meats she ever had to deal with (this was a woman whose husband took her boar hunting for their honeymoon).

        What did GentlemanX think of the smell, assuming he took them up on the offer?

        • Xolandra says:

          He did not report the smell being that bad, but, he says, he was there quite late in the process, well after the intestines had been removed.

  4. Lee Thomson says:

    Moose Stories then:

    I rode other people's horses for years, and two of my favorites belonged to people who lived in the hill son the edge of the Valley I'm in. They had three Cheval Canadian (Canadian Horse) mares – a pair of half sisters, one one of the sister's dam. The husband and I used to go out on trails a lot because he is a cowboy at heart, and like a nice canter, and I was willing to do that when his wife wasn't. We were out in early spring – post melt, pre-leaves, no bugs, long view through the budding trees – when the smaller horse I'm on stops dead, and puts her head n the air and stares off into the woods. The larger horse with Bob on her rear-ends us, and the little horse does. not. budge. So we are both completely halted when we hear footsteps, and I am thinking I hope it is not a bear, and this ENORMOOSE (sorry/not sorry) mama come stepping majestically out of the woods on our right. She is as large as the large horse, sleeeek and smooth and well fed, and at her heels is …. well, imagine an 8th grade boy – shirt untucked, shoes untied, cowlick on his head and a valiant attempt at a masculine sneer – trailing along behind looking mutinous. (mootinous? moostinous? never mind) The horses are glued to the spot. The moose checks us out, decides we are no real threat to her or the teenager, and steps away up the hill. The teenager takes a solid look at the two horses and decides he doesn't have anything invested in this encounter and trails his mother up the hill. The horses remain rooted to the spot.

    Roughly five minutes later, when Bob and I had regained our voices and finished swearing, the horses shook themselves off and suggested through their actions (a panicky spinning in place) we should go Home, NOW. We convinced them otherwise, and finished out ride, still delighted and swearing intermittently. The little horse STILL thinks there might be a moose coming up that hill, and it's been a solid five years since that happened. She'll slow down and spook and make horrified noises that we expect her to go over this trail. I see the Moose Crossing signs along the road and think "yep, I saw MY moose".

  5. Onymous says:

    *high pitched squee*

    Got to see a moose this summer when I was in Montana which was nice because I hadn't seen on in like 20 years. Unlike Tumblr I have no respect for moosen at all. They are basically furry canoes with oars lashed on. We used to keep a bucket of rocks next to the door to through at moose (and bears) when they were eating our flowers.

    N.B. my lack of respect for megafauna is probably going to get me eaten by a tiger one day.

  6. CleverManka says:

    I am LOVING all these moose stories!!!

    I love moose (obviously). One of the nicknames my father used for me when I was a kid was "Moose." What the hell, dad, but luckily I was an incredibly self-confident child and the appellation never bothered me.

  7. mckitterick says:

    Love all these mooses!

  8. Kazoogrrl says:

    "DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW
    GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY"

    *dying over here*

    Also, the white one with the red antlers from the velvet shedding, WOW!

  9. ru_ri says:

    I now love mooses more than I ever thought possible. The slanty noses! The knocky knees! The terrifying hugeness!

    I spent 2 weeks in Norway hoping to see a moose, and found steaming moose poo at least three times but never glimpsed the beastie in person. Still sad about it.

  10. Flitworth says:

    Manka, this is wonderful. I never realized how much I love moose.

  11. redheadfae says:

    I am totally hilariating over here!!!

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