Thursday Link DumpClever Manka, · Categories: Thursday Link Dump
Native American and current Democratic member of Idaho’s legislature Paulette Jordan is running for governor of Idaho this year.
Proud Mary opens this weekend and Sony is promoting it for shit. If you have time and money available (if it’s even showing near you), consider seeing it opening weekend.
Roller Derby goes to Egypt.
The Cairollers, a mixture of students and professional women in their 20s and 30s, say roller derby’s bump and tumble help unleash their frustrations, and offer a sense of empowerment — sisterhood, even a little swagger. It’s also simply a way to purge the stresses of living in a cramped, polluted megalopolis of 24 million people.
Nada el Masri, 23, a customer service representative in a bank, deals with impatient, loud customers all day long. “I have to be pleasant and smile,” she said. “So on a good day I’ll come here, play for two hours, and it all goes away.”
Roxanne Gay writes about the 1968 protests of the Miss America pageant. Related, why is fixing sexism women’s work?
Ben Barres, transgender brain researcher and advocate of diversity, died just before the new year.
“If a famous scientist or the president of a prestigious university is going to pronounce in public that women are likely to be innately inferior,” Barres wrote in his Nature essay, “would it be too much to ask that they be aware of the relevant data?”
Citing his own experience, Barres recalled that, after his transition to life a man, he led a seminar at an academic conference. A colleague overheard another scientist say, “Ben Barres gave a great seminar today, but then his work is much better than his sister’s.”
Barres wrote that in everyday transactions as well as in academic circles, “people who don’t know I am transgendered treat me with much more respect” than when he was a woman.
“I can even complete a whole sentence without being interrupted by a man.”
Why some foods taste better as leftovers.
How to look believable at a sexual harassment hearing.
Over the last year and a half, I have needed a lot of outfits. I have also needed to be consistent. I have needed to be ready, at every moment, to be seen as both a poverty-stricken graduate student and a reliable adult. As an accuser, I need to be a news-team-ready correspondent and someone who certainly wasn’t doing this for the limelight. I didn’t know any of this when I started. I learned this all on the full-time job that is being an objector to sexual harassment in America.
Our brains synchronize during a conversation. Sounds fake, but okay.
Native midwives are making traditional birthing options available to native women, who are under-serviced in numerous ways by modern medicine.
How we learn about attachment in our first year of life.
By the end of our first year, we have stamped on our baby brains a pretty indelible template of how we think relationships work, based on how our parents or other primary caregivers treat us. From an evolutionary standpoint, this makes sense, because we need to figure out early on how to survive in our immediate environment.
“If you’re securely attached, that’s great, because you have the expectation that if you are distressed you will be able to turn to someone for help and feel you can be there for others,” said Miriam Steele, the co-director of the Center for Attachment Research at the New School for Social Research in New York.
It’s not so great if you are one of the 40 percent to 50 percent of babies who, a meta-analysis of research indicates, are insecurely attached because their early experiences were suboptimal (their caregivers were distracted, overbearing, dismissive, unreliable, absent or perhaps threatening). “Then you have to earn your security,” Dr. Steele said, by later forming secure attachments that help you override your flawed internal working model.
If you remember the old Alien Loves Predator web comic (or even if you don’t), you might like this series of Bruce Lee and Freddie Mercury figurines in short narratives. ETA: a Tumblr post of other action figures in single-shot vignettes.
The trickiest part of emotional boundaries might not be the how but the when:
We all understand the logistics of how to not eat a cookie. (You say “no thank you,” you don’t pick it up, you don’t take a bite. Done.) That’s not the hard part.
The hard part is discerning whether or not we really want to eat the cookie.
If we don’t eat the cookie, are we avoiding it from a position of peace, or self-punishment — or pride? If we eat the cookie, is it with pleasure or lack of self-love? Do we actually want it? Will we regret it tomorrow? Do we want it because we’re bored, or we’ve had a beer, or a stressful day, or our host is extending it to us on a plate and smiling at us with those eyes that plead, “please — I spent an hour baking these.” Are any of those real desires? Should any of those be regarded as real desires? Is a cookie ever an appropriate vehicle for satisfying them? Is it ever appropriate to just say “ah, fuck it” and eat the cookie without identifying our real, underlying needs?
This is the hard part with boundaries — understanding what we truly want, beneath the surface, and what’s healthy.
This is two and a half years old, but new to me and I love it so much.