Thursday Link Dump

Clever Manka, · Categories: Thursday Link Dump

The Future Liberals Want

Coal miners get training to be beekeepers.

Appalachian Beekeeping Collective is headquartered at an old camp that was once owned and operated by coal mining companies that saw thousands of kids of coal miners go through the camp from different mining states.

“These people are so tied to this place. When I was there over the summer, at least twice a week somebody would drive by and say, ‘I went to camp here 50 years ago. This place means so much to me’ so it’s a really special spot,” said Delaney. “There’s so much rich history there.”

Because the people are tied to the land and invested in the history of the area, Delaney said that it made sense to get them involved in beekeeping.

“They’re native and they’ve been there for generations and they know every mountain, every hill has a name even though it might not be on a map. Because they’re so tied to the land, this operation had to be something that was sustainable and that was also very connected to the environment and beekeeping is definitely both of those things,” said Delaney.

An advice video about going no contact with a narcissist. The person who sent me this suggestion said there were several other worthwhile videos on her channel.

A documentary on origami.

Moira Donegan on creating the Shitty Media Men list.

I was incredibly naïve when I made the spreadsheet. I was naïve because I did not understand the forces that would make the document go viral. I was naïve because I thought that the document would not be made public, and when it became clear that it would be, I was naïve because I thought that the focus would be on the behavior described in the document, rather than on the document itself. It is hard to believe, in retrospect, that I really thought this. But I did.

In case you missed it in last week’s Dump comments: I Made the Pizza Cinnamon Rolls from Mario Batali’s Sexual Misconduct Apology Letter.

I find myself fluctuating between apathy and anger as I try to follow Batali’s recipe, which is sparse on details. The base of the rolls is pizza dough — Batali notes that you can either buy it, or use his recipe to make your own.

I make my own, because I’m a woman, and for us there are no fucking shortcuts. We spend 25 years working our asses off to be the most qualified Presidential candidate in U.S. history and we get beaten out by a sexual deviant who likely needs to call the front desk for help when he’s trying to order pornos in his hotel room.

Donald Trump is President, so I’m making the goddamn dough by scratch.

How Stevie Wonder helped create the MLK Day holiday. Related, found on Tumblr:

And if you haven’t seen the FB post that Penzey’s Spices put up on Sunday, it’s definitely worth your time.

Twelve simple truths about race, racism, and the middle ages from The Public Medievalist. And a compiled list of their resources from the Tumblr medivalpoc.

Mothers, motherhood, and regret.

Discussing maternal regret raises ethical dilemmas but is necessary, says Andrea O’Reilly, a professor at York University’s School of Gender, Sexuality and Women’s Studies and the author of 18 books on motherhood: “I understand the protection of children, but if you completely enforce that you have no mother voices telling their story, and you don’t want that either.”

And what we’re learning about regretful mothers upends binary thinking that women who regret having children must be neglectful or substandard parents: it’s motherhood these women regret, not the children. Dutton expressed love for her offspring (“I would cut off my arm if either needed it”); it was maternal strictures she bristled against (“I felt oppressed by my constant responsibility for them”). In Today’s Parent, Augustine Brown called her children “the best things I have ever done” and assured readers she wasn’t “a monster” before expressing conflicted feelings: “What I’m struggling with is that it feels like their amazing life comes at the expense of my own,” she wrote, expressing remorse for “this life I wanted so badly and now find myself trapped in.”

Being a mother in Hawaii during 38 minutes of nuclear fear.

Skincare enthusiasts, here’s a video of recommendations via the Two Bossy Dames tinyletter. This woman has some of the most amazing skin I’ve seen so her recs are very persuasive.

Atlas Obscura’s story about how a bookstore owner helped de-stigmatize the mystery genre.

In the 1970s, Penzler was sort of a mystery groupie. He hung out at the giant clump of bookstores that made up New York’s 4th Avenue “Book Row.” (Those bookstores, apart from The Strand, are all gone now.) He became known in the community as someone with a real passion for this stuff, and eventually was asked to help write The Encyclopedia of Mystery and Detection, a huge reference book for the history of crime fiction up to that point. The book did well and got Penzler even further into the publishing world, and in 1975 founded The Mysterious Press, a publishing house dedicated to proving that mysteries can be and should be considered as important as any literary fiction.

The Mysterious Press published mysteries in higher-quality packaging than they’d ever seen before. Penzler used expensive acid-free paper, then a new creation, to ensure the longevity of his books. Before acid-free paper, the natural acids in the wood pulp would naturally begin to eat away at the paper after time; the cheap pulp novels would literally self-destruct. Penzler used a more expensive woven pattern in his paper, which he says gives it a superior look and feel, and decided to sew his bindings rather than glue them. He hired top artists to create the covers for his books.

None of this was totally unheard of in publishing in the late 1970s, but it was completely new for what until then had been considered toilet literature. Penzler simply treated his books the way he thought they should be treated: he did limited editions, signed copies, slip covers, the whole thing. “It has been a professional goal for 40 years to elevate this genre,” he says.

Asexual Authors Speak Out About Representation (And Ostracization) In Fiction.

How the culture of coercion influences what we think of as sexual coercion (and assault).

What he was doing, was to try to put me in enough pain that I would bend to his will. And, he knew he was putting me in pain because of how I responding: I was getting angry with him, and I was asking him to stop.

Yet, he was relying on a cultural bias that we have, where we believe the emotional pain we cause people doesn’t count as real pain. After the fact, when I tried to evaluate what had happened — did I feel threatened? Was he shouting at me? Was I worried he’d use physical violence on me? — I kept coming up with nothing. What escaped my notice, was that his persistent questioning itself was painful, and I stopped refusing to have sex with him to escape this emotional pain.

I am purchasing these earplugs for the concert I’m attending next month. I already have slight tinnitus problems thanks to poor ear care during years of live shows several times a month (I hate the way regular earplugs muffle everything), so I have high hopes for these.

Do not take to this particular sea.

 

 

60 Responses to “Thursday Link Dump”

  1. RoseCamelia says:

    So many open tabs now. Thanks, Manka!

  2. Absotively says:

    I have used those earplugs! Or maybe a previous version of those earplugs? They work well.

    But it does take a while to adjust to the music being so much quieter, so sometimes I end up trying to have them half hanging out of my ears, which obviously is stupid of me. It works better to put them in early so you've adjusted to the lower volume around you before the music starts.

    • CleverManka says:

      Good to know, thanks!

      • Kazoogrrl says:

        We buy those earplugs, or similar, at Guitar Center. J got them for me when we met, as I'd go and see his band play a lot. Now we buy them for my nephew (in bands) and niece (goes to dubstep shows). It is weird at first, but so worth it.

    • Xolandra says:

      Ditto, I have two pairs for if I lose one while drunk and also my second pair comes with a third one because drunks made and branded them. They are GREAT. But you do tend to lose that "overwhelmed by sound" feeling.

      Truestory: a friend took me out dancing one night and I had my earplugs in and i took them out and was like "OMG THIS IS SO LOUD" and my friend looked and me and deadpanned "This only bothers white people" 😀

      • Absotively says:

        Yes, sometimes I miss the "overwhelmed by sound" feeling. To be honest, that's why I didn't keep them in for all of the last show I was at. But it was The Tragically Hip's last tour, so I figure it was worth it.

        On the other side of that, I have used them at folk festivals where they have huge speakers for the main stage, and it's not exactly the sort of music where overwhelmingness is part of the attraction. I was very happy with them there.

        • CleverManka says:

          I love the overwhelmed by sound feeling, too, but this particular venue had a show once where my ears rang for two days after and that was with earplugs. After that I don't trust their sound guys to show any sense whatsoever.

          • Kazoogrrl says:

            Loudest show I ever saw was Curve at the 9:30 Club in DC. I walked in from the bathroom and the force of the sound stopped me dead. They were louder than Neubauten (same venue) and the scores of punk shows I used to go to in semi-condemned rowhouse "clubs" in Baltimore.

          • Heathered says:

            God, I was just thinking about Curve the other day. *runs to YouTube*

  3. Kazoogrrl says:

    Wooo, lots to read! Also:

    This comic really reminds of the basic level of "I see and hear you" friendship I get through this site, thank you everyone!

    The beekeeping article reminds me of reading about local food production in areas where mines have closed. Here's one article I found again.

    I'm looking forward to the medieval history article, as I've been working through the podcast Medival History for Fun and Profit, which is really good. Maybe I should email and ask them to do a episode about POC in Europe/UK in the Middle Ages.

    • Kazoogrrl says:

      Also, the Penzy's posts regularly make me cry.

    • CleverManka says:

      I love that farming article. Why why why why can't the Democrats get it together and start advocating for and financially supporting this sort of thing? I mean, I know why, that was rhetorical, but ugh I feel like it would help so much with the ridiculous hold that the GOP has on small, poor, failing communities.

  4. Heathered says:

    It's nice to see a good story about bees–and such a smart, adaptive approach to inevitable change. Someone destroyed a bunch of hives in CA this week, so I needed some good news. Also, there are SO MANY things here I want to read, ugh. *rallies eyeballs*

  5. vladazhael says:

    Penzey's is honestly one of the highlights of me moving back to Wisconsin. Manfriend and I have already agreed that we need to make going there a treat rather than a regular thing, because we will absolutely overdo it. And right now I'm feeling pretty okay with giving them all my money.

    The sexual coercion article is one I ran across before and need to read again. I swear I've spent half my week swatting down people who think it's okay to play devil's advocate on a post where someone shares the original article about Aziz Ansari's fuckery in the context of the same thing happening to them.

    friend: this thing resonates in a very upsetting way because i have experienced it too.
    friend of friend: i don’t think this was rape because she should have, like, left. but i’m sure your thing was different.
    me: IS THIS REALLY THE FUCKING TIME. DO YOU THINK YOU’RE BEING HELPFUL RIGHT NOW.

    I keep expecting this open can of whoop-ass to be empty but every time I shake it there turns out to be a little bit left at the bottom.

    • CleverManka says:

      I keep expecting this open can of whoop-ass to be empty but every time I shake it there turns out to be a little bit left at the bottom.
      I love this. I mean it's a horrible situation but I love this image.

      • Kazoogrrl says:

        Agreed. I feel like this would make a perfect meme.

        • vladazhael says:

          Honestly this is the third time I've said it in the past day about the same thing because I love it so much myself.

          • Kazoogrrl says:

            It goes with an old friend's, "I'm down to my last pack of give a fucks, and I'm not wasting one on you."

          • vladazhael says:

            I also just told a dude who was comparing the obligation to treat patients regardless of religious objection to actual slavery to take those pearls he was clutching and shove them waaaaaay up his butthole. Winning friends and influencing people over here.

          • Kazoogrrl says:

            Also gold!

    • jenavira says:

      The writer of the Fat Nutritionist blog was talking on twitter this week about Terror Management Theory as an explanation for fascism (and also fat-shaming and a lot of other nasty things) and I think this need people have to play devil's advocate is the same thing. "If I admit that this was bad then things that happened to me/my friends or could easily have happened to me/my friends were also bad!"

      Like. Practicing law without a license is a crime. Do not play devil's advocate here. Deal with your own feelings on your own time.

      • vladazhael says:

        Mmmmhmm. And I think this sort of thing plays a role sometimes: http://www.katykatikate.com/2018/01/not-that-bad_

        • jenavira says:

          YEP.

          I mean. I don't even date, never mind dating men. But "this sounds like a normal bad date" is not a ringing endorsement of the whole project of dating men, and I've heard it A Lot lately.

          • vladazhael says:

            Right??? And how do people think "this is normal" is a dismissal and not a fucking call to arms? If I ever become the sort of Old who looks at my own struggles and traumas and tries to pay them forward instead of using my experience to try to help younger generations fix the world that hurt me, please fling me into the sun.

      • littleinfinity says:

        I saw this somewhere the other day: "Do not play devil's advocate unless you have passed the bar and are representing Satan in a court of law."

  6. Xolandra says:

    O I HAVE THOUGHTS ABOUT THAT COERCION THINK PIECE. And they aren't necessarily pretty ones, so if anyone wants to discuss, possibly in the comments will be best.

    • CleverManka says:

      I am interested to hear your thoughts but might not have time to discuss today…

    • vladazhael says:

      I thought it was a bit of a mixed bag. Like her objection to the "male tears" meme – those things aren't generally intended to convince men of anything; they're a way for the rest of us to commiserate over some seriously entrenched social bullshit. And we've tried not doing snarky things like that before, and careful politeness has not proven altogether fruitful in convincing men that we're people. I'm also not sure what methods she would have us adopt on a broad social level beyond those she deems coercive.

      • Xolandra says:

        The male tears meme was actually where she lost me for exactly the reasons you point out, though I wasn't particularly sold even before that.

        I think what bugs me the most about this article is what bugs me about anarchism; there is a somewhat delusional conviction that people, if left to fend for themselves, would look after each other and we'd all get along. But, like, there is substantial historical evidence that such is not at all the case.

        I was also really bothered by the assertion that "We need to start asking for cooperation without demanding it." NOPE. We need to start _making change_ and leaving the racist misogynist fuckwads _behind_. Like yes! My brother out law might think that i am a crazy raging feminist because I told him that I wasn't interested in his allyship, I was interested in _eliminating any need for it_, but hurting his feelings by suggesting that he is not The Most Important Person In The Room is not actually a bad thing maybe?

        Also, the idea that people are uninterested in harming other people to get what they want? Does… does this person live in capitalism? Because our system is basically designed to do that.

        Finally, this whole paragraph: We find it reasonable that poor people should have to take exploitative jobs because they are otherwise denied the means of life. We find it reasonable to try to curb other people’s behavior by calling them “deplorable” or “ignorant.” We find it reasonable to mock young men who don’t get laid rather than helping them build the skills to engage with people in a productive way.
        Who is she hanging out with? Chill with better people, yo.

        • jenavira says:

          Well, I think the "we" in her quote in your last paragraph is probably "we as a society," and all those things are true of we as a society. But other than that, I agree with you – respectability politics has never worked. There is no Good Enough we can be to make people determined to hate us decide they were wrong.

          (Which is why her essay falls apart for me, because I agree with her that emotional manipulation is as bad as physical manipulation and we as a society need to find a better way to be! But how do you go about doing that when you know that there are people who a) do not agree with your premises, and b) never will even if you explain it to them really, really well? This is a genuinely difficult problem, and the essay doesn't get anywhere near it. Leaving it at the insight of "emotional manipulation is a manifestation of our colonialist culture and training ourselves out of it would make us better people" would have been more powerful.)

          • Xolandra says:

            Yes, I understand that the "we" is a societal "we", my "chill with better people" was little joke. My actual criticism is probably more related to the word "reasonable" and who is doing this actual "thinking" that she purports is happening. I feel like she is confounding the dregs that get amplified on the Internet with how people actually feel and think about things.

            And you're right, the essay doesn't ask the hard questions, and i also totally agree that we as a society need to find a better way to be! But I think that there is a LARGE difference between the kind of interpersonal emotional manipulation that she's talking about and, say, a community that exiles someone for causing harm (cf blacklisting of Harvey Weinstein, for example, or the small northern community that recently literally exiled a pusher). The former is coercive, the latter is seeking to redress a breach of the social contract. The former benefits one person, the latter, the group.

            I think my big problem is with this statement: "controlling and exploiting people is at the base of societal interaction… we’ve just created more subtle ways of controlling people that can escape social criticism". Society requires social control. It's this or fetters. I kind of like this better? I think? We need to be less shitty about the controls and what needs controlling, imo, not pretend that they are unnecessary to begin with.

          • jenavira says:

            But I think that there is a LARGE difference between the kind of interpersonal emotional manipulation that she's talking about and, say, a community that exiles someone for causing harm

            Oh HELL yes. I think she overgeneralized way too much. Her initial point – being badgered into sex is painful, but we treat it as unimportant – does not, in my mind, really relate to overall social shaming or community blacklisting.

          • vladazhael says:

            The former is coercive, the latter is seeking to redress a breach of the social contract. The former benefits one person, the latter, the group.

            THIS THIS THIS

        • vladazhael says:

          I second all of this. I think the general goal of trying to be less harmfully coercive as a culture even outside of sex is a good one, but stretching it to "ALL this stuff is coercive and we should just stop it" gives me a similar red flag feeling to when someone has the classic angsty teenage epiphany that all motivations are essential selfish and then uses that as an excuse to stop trying not to be a selfish prick. I don't think she's necessarily being that much of a douchecanoe, but there's way too much room to do so when one tries to paint the tiny intricacies of human motivation with such a broad brush.

    • CleverManka says:

      This is great! Thank you all for the comments. Alas, now that I have a moment to be online again I've been struck with a headache and don't have the fortitude to go re-read it with these things in mind. I will, though! I appreciate everyone's perspective.

  7. Xolandra says:

    Also, music? This is about the best damn (new) thing I have put in my ears in a fortnight: https://soundcloud.com/dio/indigenous-lyricist

  8. vladazhael says:

    Oh SHIT how did I miss the motherhood and regret article? New favorite (well, tied with the Penzey's one). Two of the major reasons I've given for not having kids are 1) the oppresive social structures and expectations of motherhood and 2) the fact that if I ever regret *not* having them, at least I'll be allowed to express it.

    • Kazoogrrl says:

      Just from the blurb it reminds me of something I've said here before: I'm maybe be interested in having kids if I didn't have to be a mom.

      • vladazhael says:

        If I could skip straight to Grandma, I would.

        • Xolandra says:

          OFFBALANCE AUNT. My brother outlaw calls me aunty ranty and I have never met his spawn but I send them anarchist books for Christmas every year and when we DO meet I will shower them with unwise amounts of candy and we will run and scream and make ALL OF THE NOISE AND MESS. Especially with the girl, because they are already making her small 🙁

          • vladazhael says:

            SAME!!! Buy them loud things, fill them full of sugar, send them home. My brother already has a small boy-child, who received a small mechanical piano with no off switch from Weird Aunt Vlad for Xmas (which said brother admits he more than deserves to be plagued with). I'm interested to see what happens with the girl-child who is due in a couple weeks, as this brother and sister-in-law are generally decent people who also just happen to veer toward traditional gender roles via a total lack of interest in sociopolitical self-examination.

    • Rillquiet says:

      Peer group seems so underappreciated; while I have friends with kids, they're the exception rather than the rule, so there isn't very much expectation that having kids is what's done (although our parents may disagree). But when most of your friends are adults who've intentionally chosen not to have children, it shifts the sense of what's normal–and I imagine the same is true of mothers who feel ashamed of admitting that they regret having children if not the kids themselves.

      • Kazoogrrl says:

        Same here! There are few kids in my closest circle of friends, and boy do we love the ones that are around. My personal knee jerk reaction to people having a kid is, "Are you sure about that?". I DO NOT SAY IT*, obviously, but it's a brief partial-second thought.

        When one friend told me she was pregnant I looked at her and cautiously asked, "Is this a good thing?". When she said yes, I gave congratulations. I asked this because when she got married, her and her husband were on the no-kids train, so I wasn't sure exactly where things stood.

    • Xolandra says:

      Yeah, I wonder how much of my resistance to motherhood was watching my mom work two jobs (because that's what made her happy) and try to have hobbies and also my dad try to parent two kids and never having a night out and my da, at least, has no friends and they watch a lot of TV together and they don't really do much else and I wonder if I thought that if I had kids that's what would happen to me? Because I genuinely like children, I enjoy spending time with them and I think they're neat stupid little things, but "mom" was never really a role I aspired to.

  9. jenavira says:

    SUCH a good roundup (as usual, tbh)

  10. jenavira says:

    Man, the asexuality piece is good, but I have to laugh a little that once again there's one scant mention of aromanticism in the whole thing. (I need to read Claudie Arsenault's books, I've been following her on Twitter and she's a delight.) I am STARVED for aromantic rep, y'all. (I started reading Foz Meadows's An Accident of Stars, which promises to be everything I want, and got as far as one of the main characters explaining that she's asexual and aromantic but she's married to a couple because she likes having a family, and I had to put it down because Too Many Feels. But that is just about the only explicitly aro rep I've seen. (Also, THAT'S ALLOWED, OMG.) Yes, I know there are lists and they're out there, but I find I cannot convince myself to read books just because they contain a character of a certain background, I want to be drawn to it first by something else. So really I'm just whining that more writers need to a) think about and b) include this kind of stuff, so that I can continue to pick up books because they're about dragons and swordfights and shapeshifting cities and then be pleasantly surprised that someone like me exists in them.

    • jenavira says:

      (and I know there's something of a movement to divorce aromantic visibility from asexual visibility but I feel largely about that the same way I do about people who want to remove trans activism from gay activism, like, why divide up people who are already fighting for the tiniest slices of attention?)

  11. Lee Thomson says:

    A) Thank you all so much for sympathy, hugs and suggestions yesterday, it all helped a great deal, and helped me figure out what I can do from here, and for travel.
    B) what an amazing collection of open tabs now! yikes!
    C)Friend situation is stable

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