Mid-week check-in

Clever Manka, · Categories: Check-In

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This is the weekly post for those of us who are traversing together this hellscape called Personal Growth. Brag about this week’s accomplishments, ask for support, talk about what worked, what didn’t. Tell us how things are going for you.

206 Responses to “Mid-week check-in”

  1. CleverManka says:

    Today is my birthday and yesterday I got a prescription for bifocals so that's how I'm doing.

  2. vladazhael says:

    Housing. Is still. In flux. Place A is almost certainly a no-go because Manfriend's landlord is a giant turdblossom who wouldn't respond to the management company and they're too tangled in their own procedures to get past that. Which I honestly didn't mind because I wanted to go for Place B, which is awesome and perfect, but unfortunately that is also a no because the guy who owns it is too financially strapped to wait for us to start renting it in April and it would be insane for us to sign on now. Manfriend is, last I heard, waiting for a call back to set up a showing for Place C, which has been quite affordably up for rent for some time and sits on a very popular street where things that are affordable tend to be complete shitholes, but it looks okay from the pics online and they're cool about pets and timing, so we'll see. It's either going to be great or a memorable horror show.

    So, yeah. I am torn between "find a place and get this taken care of ASAP so I can move on to the next thing to obsess about" and "sit back and wait for things to miraculously work out with Place B after some time passes".

    And then for the first couple days of this week my brain decided some wicked depression would be fun, so yay. I don't know if it was a coincidence of timing or good self care, but I managed to shake most of it off last night with some forced painting and an excessive amount of excellent high octane beer, which was especially handy because I just did not want to dump the intricacies of my mental state on Manfriend yet again. He's perfect about it, of course, but I don't want to just use him as a receptacle for my angst, and also I have no earthly idea how to trust that it really is possible to lean on someone, especially if I'm doing a disproportionate amount of the leaning, without either overdoing it or having them just not come through.

  3. Doc_Paradise says:

    I'm taking a few weeks off work to take care of myself and I know it is the right thing because of the amount of *relief* I felt when I finalized the decision.

    I'm depressed, coping with physical illness (which triggers trauma issues), and have been hit with a series of really crappily timed triggers since December. I've been trying to recover, but every time I claw my way back out of the hole… I get hit in the face with something else and the size of the thing that knocks me back down is getting smaller. Which is a warning sign. I've been on a saw-tooth pattern of clawing-upward/crash since December. I'm not non-functional (I don't look sick or depressed which is a rant for later) but I REALLY need to stop the slide before it gets worse and that is going to require focused attention.

    Work isn't stressful. It's the easiest part of my life to put down for a while because it is wonderfully supportive. I'm very grateful to it for that right now.

    • jenavira says:

      Congratulations for taking time to care for yourself. I'm so glad you're able to do that, and that it doesn't create more stress to take the time.

      • Doc_Paradise says:

        *pastes gold star to middle of my forehead*

        My job is boring, but the upside of that is that they know how repetitive the work is and that they want to keep their employees. Hence, they went the route of making it a good place to work. I take full advantage of that. It's a great job for financing and balancing the rest of my life. I don't need it to be a part of my identity. When I was younger I thought I needed a CAREER that would fill both financial and meaning needs. Now I've discovered that there are some benefits to the job that pays the bills not being the thing that brings meaning to my life. It gives me flexibility in both areas.

    • CleverManka says:

      I'm so glad you're able to recognize how to care for yourself and be able to actually do it. Hurray for supportive workplaces! If you feel like sharing, what strategies are you using to stop the sliding?

      • Flitworth says:

        ^^^^Awesome that you were able to make this decision and also execute it 🙂

      • Doc_Paradise says:

        I thought about making a long comment about the different strategies I'm using but I don't have the energy so you are going to get a bunch of short comments.

        – Strategy… break things down into small chunks that aren't overwhelming.

      • Doc_Paradise says:

        Strategy… It's important to know the difference between support and friends. It's okay for the venn diagram of those two to not be 100% overlapping. Support is CAPABLE as well as willing to give the type of needed support. Friends might be WILLING to do that but it's okay (and a good idea for keeping friendships) to not lean on friends who aren't capable.

        Know who is in which circle.

        Don't get them mixed up.

      • Doc_Paradise says:

        Strategy … Be aware of what things make spiralling downward more likely. Make a plan for dealing with those.

        Problems with food, sleep, pain, illness, scheduling, and neglectful behaviours of people whom I'm needing/wanting things from are things that will definitely sink me. Getting those things managed or avoided may not prevent the sinking… but having them out of whack is like a boat anchor around my ankles.

      • Doc_Paradise says:

        Strategy: Do less. Want more.

        Schedule less than I think I can do and expect to do less than that. Be okay with that. Having that expectation set up a head of time reduces disappointment in myself or outcomes.

        So many of my problems stem from not getting enough. The prevalent attitude in our culture seems to be to restrict, limit, cut back, etc when faced with a problem… find something to eliminate. This SO DOES NOT WORK for me. Instead, the expectation that I'm probably not getting enough of something and looking for what that might be almost always turns out to be more successful and less painful.

        • pseudonymica says:

          To want more…that's an epiphany for me. I'm going to try it. Thank you!

        • Fancy_Pants says:

          All of these strategies are brilliant, and I'm definitely going to come back to them, but this one hit me the hardest. It's the flipside of the mentality of having to "earn" self-care.

      • Doc_Paradise says:

        Strategy: Understand that capability is not a flat line. Different states allow me to do different things and make other things impossible. Go with what the state can do, rather than force myself into a state to do the thing.

        Example: Can't food today. Ended up standing in a corner of the kitchen like a sad lost roomba while not fooding. But I could do technical work with no problem. The Kudzu of Joy cooked. I wrote memos. And managed to remember to shower.

      • Doc_Paradise says:

        Strategy: Keep as much of a schedule as I am capable of and have a "to do" list that is a list of general categories of things I want to try to do something in each.

        My list:

        Try to each day: go outside, eat vegetables, sleep, make art, exercise, do one thing productive.

      • Doc_Paradise says:

        Strategy: Appreciate the help people give when *I* am capable of doing the appreciating and let myself off the hook when I can't.

        Trying to be appreciative when I'm in a BIG DARK HOLE often comes out badly and sounds worse. Acknowledgement requires the ability to *see*. It is hard to see when in a dark hole. Say it later. It is never too late to say something like "Yeah… that thing you did back then. Thanks. It helped. I couldn't say it at the time, but I noticed." This is damn useful for keeping support feeling like what they do matters.

      • Doc_Paradise says:

        Strategy: Be aware of what my personal flags are for my OMFG THIS IS BAD warning signs. Have some people who understand those flags too without having to explain in the moment. Have a plan that doesn't take brain power to follow. Practice that plan (even if only talking it though).

        This one has saved my life in the past. A social worker friend taught it to me when I was really sick. She MADE me practice and when I was totally out of my mind in pain, illness, and distress at my worst spots. I did the things automatically and called all the right people automatically. And apparently I kept repeating the instructions to myself the whole time. Very helpful. One clear thread to hold onto.

      • Doc_Paradise says:

        Strategy: Just because I'm feeling okay right now doesn't mean that I am okay.

    • Heathered says:

      I'm sorry things have been so difficult lately, but impressed with how you're in tune with what you need right now and able to make it happen. I hope you get some respite/spoons/however you're thinking about progress markers soon.

    • vladazhael says:

      A+ self care right there. I'm sorry you need it so badly, of course, but glad you have the internal and external resources to manage things so well.

    • Lee Thomson says:

      A+ self care, as pointed out by others.

      I hope finding the help you want and need is easier without work in the way, and the triggers will just let up already.


      • Doc_Paradise says:

        I've given up on hoping they will just stop on their own and have implemented quarantine procedures.

        Mankanauts are inside the support circle. Very reliably untriggery.

        Friend who makes promises that they then flake on regularly. Isn't going to get any contact from me.

  4. Doc_Paradise says:

    Who else watches Steven Universe?

    Garnet is amazing, right?

    Who else cries to this song?

  5. jenavira says:

    Medication change update: still blah, but I haven't had another Really Bad Day since I've been religious about taking it first thing in the morning. This one is a little more time-dependent than I'm used to, which is not ideal (you mean I'll never be able to sleep in until noon again?!?) but I'm adjusting.

    Last night I finished setting up my corner art studio for February's Making Stuff challenge. I'm excited to use it!

    I've been thinking a lot lately about how strongly I feel obliged to live up to other people's expectations of me, and how much that's impeded my ability to understand myself. This is why I want to be a hermit, really; I don't know who I am without other people demanding things of me and assuming they know how I'll react. I don't know how to connect with people because I don't know how to tell them they're wrong, so instead I keep squishing myself smaller.

  6. Heathered says:

    Thanks to you all for letting me collide my internet worlds with that post on Monday–your responses were illuminating and so different from my rosary group, most of whom were totally stymied as to how they might be engines for joy. I am now hlsegg on Instagram, but will only be so for #dailyFeb2018 because Instagram does not like being on a laptop at all. I spent the happiest hour last week detangling embroidery thread in preparation, and kind of wish I could be a professional knot undoer now. Finally, all I wanted to do today was sleep in, but I ended up putting shoes on and seeing a chunk of the eclipse because I woke up so early. It was pretty cool. But now it's 9 am-ish and I need a nap. :/

    • jenavira says:

      I will follow you on Instagram as soon as I have access to my phone again! (I agree, I tried using Instagram on a laptop once and it was sub-par.)

      There's a group on Ravelry called Knot a Problem where people send their hopelessly tangled skeins to be unwound for a small fee. 🙂

    • Absotively says:

      I really should have answered the question Monday, instead of just proving that my mind is stuck in the gutter. It was a very good post!

      • Heathered says:

        It's funny, my intent wasn't even to have people answer, just to think about what we all do that makes the world more pleasant instead of less. But the rosary nerds were more used to thinking in terms of prayer (which is fair!) and then you're usually praying for your own joy, so they were like, WHOA! Tall order! And then here, people jumped right in with lists of things they were good at and know people around them appreciate. I loved seeing the contrast. But I'm also glad someone got my dumb dirty joke!

    • CleverManka says:

      I'm so pleased the community here could provide you with helpfully different points of view! I need to go back and read the comments to that post…thank you for the reminder.

    • Flitworth says:

      I spent the happiest hour last week detangling embroidery thread in preparation, and kind of wish I could be a professional knot undoer now.

      So zen. Much pleasure. Very nice. LMK if you find out this is a job b/c am right there with you.

      • Heathered says:

        When my library had a drop-in group I would always grab the big snarly balls of donated yarn and get to work on them. I never got any better at knitting, but even my friend who was overseeing the program said, "Maybe it's more relaxing since you're jammed up with writing and reading so much of the time." Bingo. We should open a storefront.

    • littleinfinity says:

      Professional knot-undoer sounds so satisfying. 🙂

      I also woke up early (on purpose) to see the eclipse, and I thought I would be able to work from home today but then for several reasons I couldn't… and now I am at work and sleepy. Sooo sleepy. The eclipse was cool though!

      • RoseCamelia says:

        Prioritizing the eclipse was the right choice. But you knew that.

        • littleinfinity says:

          It was worth it!  I definitely strive to be the type of person who prioritizes the viewing of unusual astronomical events over things like “enough sleep” or “a normal workday”.  

  7. jenavira says:

    Oh, and: after Kesha was ROBBED of a Grammy I bought Rainbow and listened to it all the way through for the first time, and holy shit. I am Reborn.

    (I am making a playlist of songs by Women Who Are Done With This Shit, recommendations welcome)

    • CleverManka says:

      Fuck the music industry. That is THE BEST album of 2017, no doubt.

      I am up to my eyeballs in fellowship nominations and then a meeting this afternoon, but once I'm home I'll work on suggestions for your Women Who Are Done With This Shit playlist.

      • jenavira says:


        (I just bought tickets to see Dessa in March because my first reaction on hearing "Fire Drills" was "I need to see this live because I need to be in a crowd of people screaming about how good this is." Now I have two months to work myself up the courage to go to a club in the city by myself. I am not a going out person! What does a white femme even wear to a hip-hop club in Chicago??)

        • CleverManka says:

          Oh Dessa is great and I hope you have a fantastic time at the show! Her new album drops in March (I think?) so I bet that show will be extra exciting. Dressing for clubs is always so weird but I feel like jeans, boots, and a tee shirt (or, in the case of Chicago in March) an old, comfy sweater is the way to go. Maybe do your face up extra fine, though, if you're the make-up wearing sort.

        • vladazhael says:

          SO JEALOUS. She's going to be in Madison March 30 and I will likely not be there yet.

    • pseudonymica says:

      YES, that playlist! Have we already discussed the Svetlanas? I can't remember who that was here. If not, I can definitely recommend a song by them. Quiet by Milck (which I heard on Samantha Bee) is a good one.

      The style isn't for everyone but my favorite Done with this Shit sister in arms is the band Rasputina. They have a cover of You Don't Own Me and various empoweringly disdainful songs such as The Olde Headboard.

      I have to think about more.

    • exitpursuedbyaclaire says:

      All my recommendations, I realize, are in the "women getting revenge on lovers" genre, which might not be exactly what you're looking for. But I always love listening to the Cell Block Tango from Chicago. And there are lots of delightful options in the country music genre. I'm particularly fond of Miranda Lambert's Momma's Broken Heart.

  8. RoseCamelia says:

    I met damngoodcoffee! She did me the honor of taking a train and trusting me to meet for lunch a few days ago. Just as interesting in person as here online. I am soooo lucky.

  9. Absotively says:

    I am trying a meal planning website.

    I have tried the same website twice before, and sensibly concluded that it doesn't work for me because it takes way too much time in the kitchen, and assumes a very well-supplied kitchen and a very well-stocked grocery store. And a willingness to, for example, buy fresh chives when you only need 1/2 T for the whole week and are already buying green onions. Plus some of the recipes have weird issues. But I keep getting drawn back to it because the food is quite tasty and the menu planning tool is excellent. Once I give up on their generated menus again, I may try the plan-it-yourself version, though you can only use their recipes so that may not work either.

    I am trying the sports plan, because I figured I could tweak the amount of food if needed by lying about my weight and activity level in the how-much-food-should-it-give-you calculator. That seems to be working ok, but the recipes have a lot more focus on protein than I'm used to. This morning's little mini quiches have skim milk powder that I may not have got dissolved completely, and that also may have been stale, so they're only semi-tasty. Also the recipe was supposed to make six muffins, and it made twelve and I have some rice left over, which is exactly the sort of recipe problem that will make me quit again.

    Anyways, aside from my latest effort to try to figure how to food, things are pretty good? I'm still on the gym-twice-a-week thing, and it seems to be going ok. I have mostly adapted to the exercise bike but I have trouble pushing myself to the recommended speed and staying there, which would be fine if lower speeds were getting my heart rate up but they kind of aren't. I'm a bit low on sleep, but that's 80% because I've been staying up late trying to get the make-ahead recipes done or catch up on dishes, which is my own fault for trusting this meal plan. I'm running a very low-effort Netrunner league, which is nice.

    • Absotively says:

      Oh, also: despite having avoided the meal planner's advice to make my own granola and crushed tomatoes, I decided to make my own yogurt. I've made yogurt before, it's pretty easy, and I was planning to use a lot of it.

      It turns out I should not start yogurt while tired. There are only about four steps, but they are all important, and I left out one. Since the one I left out was "cool the milk down so the heat doesn't kill all the yogurt bacteria," my yogurt failed completely. Oops.

    • CleverManka says:

      buy fresh chives when you only need 1/2 T for the whole week and are already buying green onions
      Oh hell no, dried chives are just fine and they keep for up to a year if stored in a dark, dry place. Are you vegetarian? If not, my darling Mel Joulwan has a great resource for meal plans and of course you can add stuff like rice or cheese or whatever if you don't follow the Paleo eating style. She's good about helping people organize their meals and not be wasteful of food or time. She has suggestions for weekly food prep stuff to make daily cooking a little easier, too.

      • Absotively says:

        I mean, dried chives are fine, but the green onion I put in instead was also tasty. I did substitute dried marjoram for fresh. I did buy the fresh parsley and basil, but that's because the meal plan used non-trivial amounts of them.

        My real complaint is having to spend time looking up the recipes to see which things in the grocery list I can make substitutions for.

        I'm not sure the Mel Joulwan recipes are quite what I'm looking for in terms of laziness and vegetable content, but the meal planning site she offers them through looks interesting, so perhaps I'll try it next.

    • Flitworth says:

      So, I'm sorry if I missed this but, what are your goals? To avoid living on cereal or to get X amount of Y in your diet?

      (Side bar, both my stomach and my dog are whining and I can't tell which is which…..o.0)

      • Absotively says:

        Mostly to avoid living on fast food and junk food, which I tend to do before I get down to living on cereal. I wouldn't mind sticking closer to Canada's Food Guide, because I do feel better when I eat more vegetables and stuff, but honestly I think I do pretty ok by that any time I'm cooking for myself regularly. The site I'm trying sticks very close to the food guide, and I do consider that one of its plus sides.

        • Flitworth says:

          One of the things that has reduced stress and defaulting to pasta/pizza in our home is just having a list of options for which we have ingredients on the whiteboard. We now have a ton of eggs so, like, shakshuka, breakfast-for-dinner, specific leftovers….It's mainly staple recipes plus w/e. Also, we buy chicken sausage and it has been great – leaner protein, easy to cook, can be tossed into rice/beans, pasta, served w/ veg.
          Right now the board says "Stew hen 4 ever" because all our retired birds are in our freezer.

          • Absotively says:

            This is probably a better plan than hoping technology will fix everything through menu-planning web apps. Thank you for the idea!

    • jenavira says:

      What site are you using? I'm at that stage where I'm ready to consider a meal plan again, although I tend to fail out of them for a lot of the same reasons you describe.

      • Absotively says:

        SOS Cuisine! The food really is generally tasty, once I finally get it made. And the meal planner shows food groups in the nutrition info in addition to calories and stuff. And if you're in Canada, it'll tell you which grocery stores have the best deals every week. Though I personally don't care, I always shop at the only one with online shopping & delivery.

    • Rillquiet says:

      Perhaps staging your periods at higher speeds, a la Couch to 5K's run/walk splits, would help you build up your endurance for those higher speeds. I spent…a year? trying to build a fitness habit and treadwalking before I found a groove for speeding up. I still hate the panicky feeling of being out of breath, but the C25K plan let me build mental endurance as well as physical ability–and at least I know that the first mile is always an awful feeling.

      • Absotively says:

        It's part of a class, so there are intervals already. But maybe trying less to hit the RPM target in the slow intervals and saving my energy for the faster ones would help.

        If my plantar fasciitis wasn't acting up, I'd be doing treadmill walking with different inclines for the intervals. I like that a lot better, and it does get my heart rate up pretty easily. Someday I will be able to go back to that.

  10. Flitworth says:

    A few months ago I cancelled my NYTimes subscription and filled out a few questions on why on the way out. It was in response to them hiring a climate change denier as one of their editorial writers. Yesterday, a 3rd party they hired to follow up on lost subscriptions called me and I went on a mini-tear about it and said even if I hadn't cancelled over the climate change dude, I surely would have dropped them after their Nazis-are-people-too coverage. Anyways, now I might be selected to participate in a roundtable on the subscription question and they would compensate me for my time. I have not told them that I give my opinions out for free all the time. 🙂

    Has anyone here ever dealt with paying for repairs from a crash outside use of insurance? Duder McAlabasterSoftHands who hit me with his jacked up muscle truck wants to do that. His offer is that I just give his info to the repair people and have them bill him when the work is done….I don't want my mechanic or me to get screwed but I don't know what's typical for enforcing this type of agreement.

    • vladazhael says:

      Ok, this is a useful reminder for me to discontinue my NYTimes subscription. I was going to anyway for financial reasons, but the Nazi stuff… yeah. It's time.

      • Flitworth says:

        Fill out the exit survey! Maybe you'll get paid for your opinions:)

        • vladazhael says:

          I will, given the chance. 🙂 I kept it simple on the phone because I HATE the sales pitch bullshit they drag you through and I wanted the call to end as soon as possible, but if they want opinions after the fact? Oh. Oh, I have those.

    • Lee Thomson says:

      you could see what your mechanic says? If they think it'll work, and are willing to cope, maybe get a credit card from Duder and go to town…

      Or – you'll still want an estimate from your mechanic, you might be able to get Duder to pay the estimate and then bill him for anything that remains.

    • Doc_Paradise says:

      I don't know anything about whether the car thing is legit but *something* doesn't feel right.

    • Absotively says:

      It sounds like it's more likely that his insurance will go up than yours, yes? So he's asking you to put a lot of trust in him for reasons that will mostly benefit him, which, why should you?

    • CleverManka says:

      Aw, fuck yeah! to the NY Times thing and Oh, fuck no! to the insurance thing. That is not just untypical but is super shady and maybe (I'm not in the business, but) might even be just this side of the line on insurance fraud? Did you get a police report?

      • Flitworth says:

        Yup, you have to call the cops if the damage looks to be $500 or more apparently in MA? Dude McAlabaster knew this so I guess he's been around this block. I still need to pick it up but the cops were there and they seemed pretty whatever about proposal to go outside insurance.

        Pretty much anyone I've asked about this to told me to go through insurance and are baffled I'm giving this a thought but I hate paperwork and am a utilitarian about this kind of thing. I think I'm going to give him the option to pay me or the mechanic the estimate up front and otherwise go through insurance.

    • RoseCamelia says:

      The only time I agreed not to call insurance was when the man who hurt my adorable little 21-yr-old VW Bug had a friend in common with me. Our friend vouched for him. It was only that the bumper had to be replaced, which took time to find for a car that old. The man came through with cash. I didn't think he would, but I trusted our mutual friend to pay me if the bumper mangler had not.

      Recently a young woman damaged one of our vehicles. It was clearly her fault and she begged us to let her give us cash. She phoned her father who said he'd be there with cash in 20 min.

      He showed up quickly, but saw that the damage was going to cost us thousands, not hundreds, and asked us to agree to a payment plan. Nope.

      That's the point at which we called the police so we could get a report. We had our insurance company call his insurer. We did instruct our agent to avoid harm to this young single parent as much as possible while still covering our costs.

      Fortunately, one of us was on the way out of town for a month, so we could be without this vehicle without renting a replacement. We told the agent that, to limit the recovery to repair only.

    • pseudonymica says:

      I'm just here to a snicker about "Duder McAlabasterSoftHands and the Jacked Up Muscle Truck." I hope everything works out in your favor with minimal complications.

  11. Rillquiet says:

    I had my well-woman checkup today without whining about it at all (my doc is lovely, but nobody wielding a speculum is going to make my list of faves), and both the pre-visit slug of scotch and the post-visit chocolate hazelnut croissant made me happy. I avoided seeing a gyno for years, after an adolescence that involved more than the average share of medical bullshit, so I believe in max Treat Yo'self about getting through the annual visit.

    My dermatologist gently reminded me that sunscreen needs to be part of daily life, so I followed the K-care hordes and tried some Dr. Jart goo samples from Sephora. They might actually be worth the money (but I welcome suggestions of other options, for I am as a child in the Korean beauty wilds).

    • Lee Thomson says:

      A+ adulting, have a cookie.

      My fave sunscreen is from Neutrogena – the dry feeling SPF 4000 what-not. It doesn't smell, doesn't render me unable to use my hands (slippery, not anything dire) and it lasts a while. Also is waterproof and long lasting, and, once dry, no sand gets stuck in it.

    • Absotively says:

      No comments about the specifics of well-woman checkups, but: I whine every time I have to have an injection or a blood draw. And it's fine. I warn the nurse/doctor/phlebotomist before, and then they ask if I'm likely to also faint or kick them (nope), and then I complain a lot during ("ow ow ow OW ow…"), and then it's done and everything is fine.

      Which is just to say, so far as I can tell, whining about unpleasant things is totally allowed, if it makes you feel better about them. Making a point of not whining is also fine, of course, if that works better for you, but it's not actually required. The important bit is just actually doing the unpleasant thing. And also communicating, I guess, so people you're whining to know what response is appropriate.

      I am glad that you are doing the important bit, either way, and that the scotch and croissant were effective.

      • jenavira says:

        I mean, they've demonstrated that swearing actually relieves pain, I feel like a certain amount of whining does the same thing.

      • Rillquiet says:

        Oh, I have no objections to anyone deploying their own coping strategies for distasteful activities! A few years ago I asked my gynecologist if she had any issue with me having a drink before the appointment–tension is the enemy of pelvics, but I don't want to bork medical readings unnecessarily–and she said that anything that got me in the door once a year was fine. (IMO gynecology practices should administer a preg test at the door, and if you're not pregnant you should get a drink ticket to redeem at an in-office bar. Prosecco and a Pap smear! Bellinis and breast exams! Martinis and mammograms!)

    • CleverManka says:

      You are definitely entitled to ALL the scotch, croissants, and whining.

    • RoseCamelia says:

      My skin reacts to so many sunscreen ingredients that I gave up and use only zinc oxide formulations. They're usually labelled for children. It's horribly greasy, but I've worked out how to apply it.

      Every morning after I put on my clothes, I apply to exposed skin.

      I pour a drop on a cotton round and apply to exposed portion of chest. Another drop for one side of my neck. A drop for the other side. By this time I can swipe the cotton round on the neck of the bottle to get the tiny bit needed for an ear. Another swipe for the other ear. Throw away the cotton.

      Next a dime-size puddle in one hand for upper arms. Important: keep fingers extended and straight. Keep zinc oxide confined to palms, keep off fingers. I press my palms together, then apply to arms. Again, keeping fingers free of sticky stuff. Another dime-size puddle for forearms. Then another for backs of hands.

      Backs of hands is the most important zone for me. I am avoiding the age spots I see on all the women in my mother's family.

      Then I allow 20 minutes to elapse before putting on jewelry or a scarf or a coat. By then the stickiness has subsided.

      • RoseCamelia says:

        For my face I use a pressed powder makeup that includes sunscreen. It's not as effective as a liquid, but I cannot tolerate anything else. Most days I just casually swipe the makeup brush over my forehead, over fullest part of cheeks, and on chin. Then I reload and focus more seriously on covering my nose.

  12. Onymous says:

    Back on the counseling wagon. Tapering off Zoloft, started Wellbutrin yesterday. We'll see how this goes.

    One of my classmates that I occasionally drink with compared (and defended the comparison) believing accusations of rape against Cosby with believing in UFOs. So he's no longer going to be part of my life, makes sobriety on Tuesdays easier I guess.

  13. Doc_Paradise says:

    Is someone here jayne.doe.383 on Instagram? I just got friended by them but don't know who they are.

  14. dirtymagpie says:

    I'm seriously lacking motivation to get anything done, and I have SSDI paperwork with a deadline, but I got my taxes filed, and that filled me with the joy of accomplishment, and I did a happy dance in the living room.

  15. Lee Thomson says:

    I'm have the pre-trip scrimmage today, including all the laundry and some floor sweeping.

    Tomorrow RoseCamelia and I head to the frozen North (Canadians may point and laugh at me now) of Maine to visit with my sainted mother for a couple days. I also have a job interview with one of the Camden Windjammer fleet for a part time post as Naturalist. Hold a good thought for me there, I want it DESPERATELY.

    I painted something today just to get a running start on Feb.

  16. faintlymacabre says:

    I won a competition at work. I won plane tickets. I feel amazing. I have been in the mega blahs for a while, so a) just winning something feels like manna from heaven, but b) winning actual means of temporary escape is like a choir of angels came down to heaven and started a conga line while singing "Burning Down the House."

  17. LaxMom says:

    I have started teaching right when the wed thread goes up so I've been AWOL. Also had some triggering shit and januaryitis so have been laying low.

    Teenboy is dealing with online course computer glitches for the ONE course that he needs to graduate HS, and he is really upset and beating himself up about it.
    Teengirl is so sick of being bored in math class that she wants to take extra math over the summer so that she doesn't have to endure another year of boredom.

    I had to do my annual report. I am liking teaching my class but have lost momentum on the proposal.

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